Where is God?
by Robin Maxwell
Summary: High school relationships suck... especially when you're gay, have a homophobic family, and attend a Catholic school. NaruSasNaru other MxM, FxF
1. Never Take Friendship Personal

"**Where is God?"**

**By: Robin Maxwell**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

**A/N: Okay, all the boys go to an all boys private school somewhere on the planet. All the girls go to a Catholic all girls' school. Everyone is around 17 and 18. And this may be a bit controversial for some people. I'm not bashing anyone's religion here, or your opinions in gay rights and other such things, so don't be offended. Everything is merely for the purpose of the plot. If I do offend someone, then I'm sorry. But I'm really not trying to. Plus, I know almost close to nothing about catholic schools, so bear with me here please. **

**This will get a lot better in the 2nd chapter. You'll get some boy on boy action, so don't worry. It's coming… literally. And it goes into Sasuke's past.**

**And any religions that I mention in here, if I get them wrong, feel free to correct me. Other than that, I'll try my best to get everything right. **

**Pairings: main Sasuke and Naruto **

**Others**

Warning: language… I think 

"Religion is a byproduct of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? Isn't killing people in the name of God a pretty good definition of insanity?"

**-Arthur C. Clarke**

**Chapter One **

**Never Take Friendship Personal**

"_Naruto?"_

_The blond in question just sat there, a stunned look on his face. He had always thought that his best friend was a bit feminine with his long brown-black hair and soft features, but he would have never guessed that he was gay. _

"_Naruto?" Neji repeated a bit unnerved now that he had just told his best friend his most dreaded secret. _

_Naruto snapped out of his thoughts and gave his friend a goofy grin._

"_Hey, if it makes you happy, then I don't see the problem." He told him. _

_Neji sighed in relief before taking a rather long drink from a small glass bottle full of clear liquid. Naruto gave him a funny look. _

"_Isn't that straight up Vodka?" _

_Neji nodded his head. _

"_Yeah… well, I guess I'm still a bit nervous. You're the first person I've ever told." _

_Naruto just laughed at him before taking the offered bottle and taking a swig himself. After he was done, he stuck out his tongue and made a face at the taste. _

Naruto's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell. He stood from his seat and gathered his bag from the floor before heading towards his next class.

Before long, that bottle was empty, and Naruto and Neji had jumped in the pool… during the middle of winter. Needless to say, they got back out soon after and stripped down and wrapped themselves in towels.

And that's when it happened. Naruto didn't even know why he had started it; he wasn't the one that was gay. But he had initialized the first kiss and the second. Then, things just elevated from there. From kissing to touching, to licking, to sucking and then… Neji passed out on him.

The bell rang again, this time notifying Naruto that he was late for class. He ran down the hall and almost fell into the room as he tripped over the small step up that was there. The class laughed and he gave a small embarrassed grin as he blushed.

"So nice of you to join us, Mr. Uzumaki." His teacher said as he took his seat. He noticed then that a boy with dark hair and even darker eyes was standing behind Iruka.

"Class, this is Sasuke Uchiha. He just moved from…" He looked towards Sasuke, expecting the boy to fill in the blank, but he didn't.

"From somewhere. Anyway, everyone be nice and uh… whatever else it is you're supposed to do."

He turned towards the raven-haired boy and pointed to the empty seat next to Naruto and told him to sit down. Naruto watched him as he moved across the room and sat down next to him. He didn't say anything, or even look at anyone. Of course, that just made him more appealing to the rest of the class. Soon, every boy in the room was staring at him, with the exception of Naruto.

The boy had gotten lost in his thoughts again. They were traveling back to that night last year when he had gotten drunk and had oral sex with his best friend. He and Neji were still good friends, which he was thankful for, but it was still a little weird whenever he saw him with his boyfriend.

He didn't dislike his boyfriend; it was just that after that night, Naruto thought that there was something a bit deeper than friendship between them. But apparently, Neji had thought otherwise. Which was why he was dating the creep known as Gaara. No one else saw him as 'the creep', except for Naruto. But maybe that was because he was still crushing on Neji.

Crushing… that was a funny word to use. It was a bit girly. How about… like? Or have feelings for? Nah. Sounds a little too old fashioned. Like. Yeah, he would go with that word. He still _liked_ him.

Someone cleared their throat right by Naruto's ear. He jumped up slightly and looked to his right. His teacher was standing there, an annoyed look on his face.

"I've been calling your name for the last two minutes. Would you please go up to the board and work out the problem." He told him.

Naruto blushed again. Man, he really needed to pay attention. Especially in Pre-Cal. Since math was not his forte. He stood up and walked to the board and grabbed a dry erase marker. Then, he looked at the problem. And put the marker back down before turning around to tell Iruka that he didn't know the answer.

"Naruto, have you been paying attention at all?"

The blond just grinned and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Ah… no."

XXXXX

After making Naruto work on the problem with help from the class, he informed him that he would be showing Sasuke around the school after class. Naruto grumbled a bit, but listened to him anyway.

The bell signaled the end of class, and Naruto packed his stuff up. He had completely forgotten about Sasuke, until said boy made an annoyed clucking noise with his tongue as he waited.

"Um… hi. I'm Naruto, and I guess I'll be your tour guide today."

Sasuke just stared at him as if he were a bug he wanted to squash.

"Anyway…. where's your next class?"

The dark haired boy unfolded a piece of paper in his hands and gave it to Naruto. After looking over it for a few seconds, he grabbed the other boy's hand and made his way towards the next building.

"Hmm, let's see here. Next is English with Mrs. Cartner. Man, I feel sorry for you. She's a real bitch. Then you've got Chemistry with Dr. Myers. I don't have him, but I heard he falls asleep in class sometimes. After that, you've got lunch. Um… I don't know where the other classes on here are. But you're last class is P.E. with Miss Evans. Oh cool, I'm in that class with you." He smiled at the other boy, who had already pulled his hand back to his side.

Sasuke just glared down at him.

"What's with you?" Naruto asked, his mood going foul after trying to get the brooding teenager next to him to talk. He was like a statue. He hadn't seen him smile or even frown yet, let alone hear him talk.

"Nothing." He answered him.

"Then why are you acting like a girl when she's on the rag?" He questioned him, wanting to hear him talk again. He had expected his voice to be just as emotionless as his face, and it almost was. But it was covered up with the deepness of it. It was kind of sexy, if you liked that kind of voice with a murderous tone to it.

For some reason, Naruto did.

"I'm not. I just don't want to waste my time talking to an idiot like you."

Naruto bristled at the insult.

"Oh? And it's so great having a conversation with you?"

"I never said you had too."

Naruto reddened in the face with anger. Who the hell did this guy think he was? He was being a complete asshole, and for no good reason.

"Why are you being such a dick?" Naruto demanded as he came to a stop, making people in the hallway have to go around him, but he didn't pay them any attention.

Sasuke stopped as well and just stared at him. He didn't have to explain himself, but he felt the need to. The other boy wouldn't understand otherwise, and might just keep on perusing him. Which would be a bad thing, if he had anything to go by from his last school. Which he did.

"Don't get involved with me." He stated.

The blond just looked at him quizzically before tilting his head to the side.

"Why not? You wanted for murder or something?" Naruto half joked.

"Something like that." He answered the blonde.

Naruto just stared at him. Sasuke took a step closer to him and he felt his breath quicken. A hand brushed up against his own, and the piece of paper he had been holding slipped from his fingers and into Sasuke's.

He didn't need to know where his next class was. They were standing right in front of it. Sasuke turned around and walked in, leaving a confused Naruto standing there with a spaced out look on his face.

XXXXX

After Sister Mary Ellen left, Sakura fixed her uniform the way she liked it. She pulled at the ribbon that was tied around her collar. It was an unattractive, thin red thing that her school expected her to wear with the rest of the required uniform. The ribbon went back into her knapsack, and she untucked her short-sleeved white button down shirt. The ugly blue sweater that had the school's insignia on it was left at home, as usual.

She walked towards the library, seeing as she was early to school. Sakura fell gracelessly into a big comfy chair in one of the more secluded areas of the library and yawned widely. She curled up in the chair, pulled down on her gray skirt, and waited.

After a good ten minutes, when she was about to fall asleep, a hand came down on her shoulder. Her eyes opened and gazed tiredly up at one of her friends.

"Hi, Hinata." Sakura said in a sleepy daze as she rubbed at her eyes, trying her best not to smear her eyeliner. The girl was wearing her uniform, all of it correctly, Sakura noticed

"Hi." The short purple haired girl said shyly. Sakura smiled at her before pulling her down onto the chair. Hinata blushed and tried to get up, but the other girl just wrapped her arms around her like she was a teddy bear.

"I'm sooo sleepy. I don't wanna move." She told her, as if this were an excuse as to why they were both crammed into the big chair. It was large, but it didn't have nearly enough space for the two girls.

"Sakura? We need to finish the project." Hinata whispered loudly. The librarian was giving them an odd look, and she didn't want them to get kicked out before they even got started.

The pink haired girl smiled into the other girl's shoulder. She always liked hugging Hinata… probably more than she should, but she didn't care. These moments were probably the best in her life, though she wouldn't admit that to anyone else.

"All right." Sakura said as she let go of Hinata, and stood up. They both made their way over to the computers and started finishing up their English project.

XXXXX

Over the next few days, Naruto found himself becoming obsessed with the new kid. He stared at him during math class, watched him during lunch, and even found himself gazing across the locker room as he changed for P.E.

He knew he was attracted to the other boy, but he didn't know what he wanted from him. If he just craved friendship… or more. Naruto shook his head at that thought. He couldn't like him. He liked Neji. Yeah, he liked Neji. No one else. So, he had to be looking for friendship.

With that in mind, he grinned to himself and closed his locker. He looked over at Sasuke, who was slipping his shirt over his head. He was still staring at him when the other boy turned towards him and glared.

Naruto turned beet red in the face and turned around, heading towards the gym. With all the noise of sixty teenage boys talking, running around, and being stupid, it wasn't hard for Naruto to lose himself and forget what had just happened in the locker room.

He found a group of his friends and ran over to them, jumping onto the back of whom he thought was Neji.

Both of them fell over. The boy under him turned his head to the side and stared up at the blonde. A very flushed Naruto was on top of one of the prettiest boys he had ever seen, who was not Neji.

"Naruto, stop attacking random people." Shikamaru said.

The blonde got off of the stunned boy, and helped him up.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else."

"It's no problem." The teen said as he wiped at his shirt and pants.

"I've never seen you around here before. Are you new?" Naruto asked.

"No. I went here a few years ago before I moved."

"You visiting or something? Don't know why'd you want to visit this cruddy school." Naruto told him distractedly as he watched Sasuke come out of the locker room.

"Uh… something else. I moved back last year and wanted to see a few old friends."

"Ohh, okay. I'm Naruto, by the way. The sexiest guy at this school." He told him as he wiggled his eyebrows.

The brunette laughed at him.

"I'm Haku."

A whistle was blown and Naruto turned around to see everyone lining up into their spots.

"I'll see you around then." Haku told him as he turned around. Naruto waved bye at him as he ran to get in his place.

"Later, Shikamaru."

The lazy boy just waved half-heartedly behind him as he walked after Naruto. Haku made his way out of the gym and into the main building, taking a staircase up to his old teacher's room.

When he came up to the room, he knocked on the open door and peered in. The room was empty. No students or teacher. He walked in and sat down at his old desk, looking towards the clock. He smiled to himself as he remembered what it felt like to sit here everyday in his senior year, waiting for the time to pass by.

Now that he had graduated and was starting his second year of college, he kind of missed it. At least, he missed this class. But only because of the teacher. He could care less about American history.

After a few minutes of reminiscing about the past, a man entered the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He walked over to his desk before realizing that someone else was in the room.

"Haku?" He said, the cup falling out of his hand.

The coffee spilled all over the carpet, making him curse loudly.

"Zabuza, sir." The boy said with another smile, getting up to retrieve some paper towels from the desk. He squatted down on the floor and helped soak up the liquid, while Zabuza finally remembered that he had towels on his desk for his free period, and also kneeled down to clean up.

"What are you doing here?"

"You sound like you don't want me here." The boy said as he stood up to throw the wet towels away.

"It's not that… it's just that I haven't seen you in a few of years. I thought you moved."

"I did. And I moved back. Aren't you happy to see me?"

Zabuza stood up also and looked down at the boy, their eyes meeting. The older man couldn't exactly say he was thrilled to see the teen, but he also knew that he was happy to have him here again. Though the reason was less than admirable.

"Yes. I am." He said quietly, not bothering to elaborate the reason why.

"I knew you would be." Haku said, taking a step forward.

"Haku!" Zabuza said in warning. He did not need a repeat of the last time the boy was here.

"You're not my teacher anymore, Zabuza. And I'm not your student anymore, so stop thinking of me in those terms." He said seriously as he stopped a few inches in front of him.

"Haku… you're still-"

"I'm nineteen now. So, you can't use those excuses anymore."

He put his hands on the older man's hips and brought them closer together. Zabuza's hands came to rest on his shoulders instinctively as they had years ago in an attempt to push him away.

"Don't push me away this time." His voice whispered over the man's lips as he kissed him lightly. Zabuza stiffened at the contact and shoved Haku away with his hands.

"I-I can't. Please stop." He lowered his head, his eyes closing.

Haku sighed.

"Why?"

"Because… it's wrong. You were my student. You're younger than I am and you could have anyone else. You should be with some one who's the same age."

"Stop using the student thing. And you're only twenty-five, so stop making excuses. What's the real reason?" He asked him, his hands tightening around the other man's waist.

This time, Zabuza sighed. One of his hands came up to run through his messy hair as he exhaled again. He pulled out of Haku's grasp and took a step back, making sure he was out of the other man's reach as he sat on top of his desk.

"I-I've never… done this before." He said quietly.

"What? Been with another guy?"

Zabuza nodded his head.

"You know I was married before and that it failed. But you don't know why."

"Then tell me." Haku told him.

"Dammit, Haku. It's not that simple. Why can't you just forget about me and let me move on with my life!" He almost shouted, his eyes narrowing at the other boy.

Haku's brown eyes glowered at him as he took a step forward.

"I've tried that before and it didn't work. And it's you who can't move on with your life. You're still living in the past, or letting something from it hold you back from what you really want. I know it. I can see it in your eyes every time you push me away…" He whispered loudly, his voice calm and steady.

Zabuza's eyes widened at his words. He had never known that someone could read him so easily. He thought that he hid his problems well. He did it all the time with his family. So why couldn't he do it to some stupid kid that had a harmful crush on him?

"Figure out what you want in life and then tell me. I'll leave you alone until then, Zabuza." Haku said before leaving the room, his old teacher still staring in disbelief at the wall.

XXXXX

After the eventful day at school, Naruto walked back to his apartment building slowly. He didn't feel like doing two hours worth of homework tonight, but knew he had no choice. His parents were always strict about him doing his schoolwork. (Yeah, that's right. You just read that. He has parents in this story, so just go with it!)

They were strict about a lot of things, actually. Like making sure his room was clean before he went out on the weekends, or going to church on Sunday morning and Wednesday night. The blonde didn't hate church, but he strongly disliked it. Just because he always felt guilty about something he did or didn't do. He didn't see anything wrong with the way he lived his life, so why was it that every time he went the preacher always had to say something about gay marriages and rights being an abomination to the church.

His parents always told him that God loved his children, no matter what. That he would forgive any of your sins if you just asked.

He had asked. But he didn't feel any less unwanted in that oversized building with paintings and statues of Christ. The lights hanging from the ceiling were always too bright, as if Jesus were searching his soul as he sat and listened to the prattle of the preacher.

Naruto thought about the last sermon as he grabbed the mail from the hallway and shifted through it, not paying attention to where he was going. He ran into someone and stumbled back, almost falling. After regaining his balance, he looked at the cursing person on the ground.

"I'm sorry." He told the pink haired girl as he offered his hand to her. She seized it and pulled herself up.

"It's okay." She told him as she tugged her skirt down. Sakura looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Hey, don't you live on the same floor as me?" She asked him as the thought of where she had seen him before came to mind.

He nodded his head as they walked towards the elevator.

"Yeah. In 3C."

"Ah, I knew I'd seen you before. I'm Sakura." She told him. The pink haired girl and her father had just moved into the building before the second semester of school had started a few weeks ago.

"Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki. What school do you go to?"

The doors to the elevators closed as the pink haired girl pressed the button for the third floor.

"St. Paul's. It's a bore, and the uniform is crap, as you can tell." She told him in a disgusted voice as she pulled at her shirt.

Naruto laughed at her. He couldn't really say anything. His uniform wasn't much better.

"Ah, it's not that bad. Mine's pretty lame too. I mean, what kind of boy wears maroon?"

Sakura looked at the dark blue pants, white button down shirt, and maroon vest that was worn over it. She did feel kind of sad for any guy that had to wear _that_.

The doors opened and they walked down the hall towards their apartments.

"Which school?"

"R. J. Reynolds. (Sorry if anyone that goes there has a problem with me turning it into an all boy homoerotic school… but you'll get over it. It's my school too!) It's all boys, which isn't too bad, at least not for me." He said with a quirk of one of his eyebrows. He didn't care if she was all-religious and thought that he was going to hell because of his preferences, but he sure as hell wasn't the shy type when it came to telling people about his sexuality. Excluding his family, of course.

Sakura gave him a strange look before laughing at him, a smile covering her confused look.

"Glad you like it then. Most girls at my school would kill to be in your place. They're deprived of the male population, which doesn't bother me too much." She admitted to him. It was Naruto's turn to turn down his eyebrows in question before grinning at her.

"I'll see ya around, Sakura." He said as he slid into his apartment. The girl waved at him before going down a few more doors and stopping at hers. She pulled out a key and went inside.

Instead of an empty apartment, like she was used to seeing, a man with an agitated look on his face sat in the chair in the living room. Sakura put down her things and locked the door behind her.

A pair of dark gray eyes looked up at her as she entered the living room.

"What do you want?" He asked her.

"What are you doing home so early?" She asked her dad, looking at him expectantly as he took another sip of his beer. This was apparently the wrong question to ask him as his hand tightened around the bottle, and he chugged the contents hurriedly, spilling some onto his chin and neck.

"Get me another drink." He told her as he wiped his mouth.

She took his empty bottle and went into the kitchen to get another one. But the fridge was almost completely bare. She sighed as she told him there was no more left.

He grumbled to himself as he stood up and grabbed his wallet off the table.

"What do you want for dinner?" She asked him quietly, trying to lift his mood.

He didn't answer her, just walked out the door, and slammed it behind him.

Sakura sighed to herself again as she looked around the kitchen, finding close to nothing to cook for them. After searching through the cabinets for a few minutes she found some pasta, sauce and mushrooms in the fridge. They didn't have any hamburger meat, so it was going to be nothing but pasta, sauce, and mushrooms.

She smelled the mushrooms and almost gagged.

Okay, make that just pasta and sauce. As she cooked the angel haired noodles, she thought back to some of the conversations she had had with her purple haired friend. The two of them had never really talked about liking any boys or having boyfriends, but they had been going to the same school since sixth grade. So it was kind of hard finding a guy when there was nothing but girls around, even around their neighborhoods.

Sakura had tried once, back in her old apartment complex. The guy had been a year older and a high school dropout as well. Needless to say, it didn't work out. She didn't feel attracted to him in any way. And she had had plenty of other girls around her say how dreamy he was, and that they wished he could be their boyfriends.

She had almost said out loud that they could have him, but stopped herself when she saw Hinata's face. The girl looked almost torn. What for, Sakura still didn't know. The girl had never told her, no matter how many times she asked. But she did break up with him soon after.

After that though, she knew she didn't want to get married, have kids and become a house mom. It just wasn't appealing to her. Whether it had to do with being with a guy for the rest of her life or her not fulfilling her dreams, she didn't know. Maybe it was both.

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts as the water started to boil over, making her swear loudly as she turned down the temperature.

XXXXX

Naruto stretched, the sound of his joints and back popping filled the room. He yawned as he put down his pencil and went into the living room. His mom was in the kitchen, a look of thought etched onto her face.

He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and walked over to the counter to wave his hand in front of her face. Crystal blue eyes blinked a few times as the blonde woman turned towards her son.

"Naruto? Did you need something?"

"Um… when's dinner gonna be ready?" He asked, his stomach already making strange noises.

"Oh, it's gonna be awhile. I wanted to wait until your dad got home, but if you can't wait-"

He shook his head.

"No, it's fine. Where is he, anyway?"

A crease formed on his mother's forehead as she studied him.

"Didn't he tell you? He went with a few other church members to protest earlier this morning and try to round up more people to sign the petition."

"Protest? To protest what?"

His mother sighed with impatience.

"Haven't you been paying attention at all to your youth minister? I know he talked about it last Wednesday."

Naruto just shrugged sheepishly, making his mother even more annoyed.

"Their trying to pass a law here that lets gays and lesbians adopt children. To think that they would let them do such a thing is disgusting. (Not to me!) So, your father has been going around all day getting people to sign the church's petition."

At the horrified look on his face, his mother put a hand on his shoulder.

"I knew you would probably want to join, but you wouldn't have been able to miss school today. Plus you have to be eighteen to sign, but don't worry. We'll win. We have to. God on our side." She told him in a positive voice, her smile growing warmer.

That smile only made it worse. Naruto dashed out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, his stomach already set on getting rid of whatever was in it. Which was nothing.

He dry heaved for a few minutes, nothing coming out but some spit and choking sounds. A knock at the door alerted him that his mom had come to check up on him, but he ignored her. Naruto stood up from his bent over position over the toilet and flushed. After a few minutes of staring at the water spin away and then settle back down to a placid surface, he went to the sink and splashed some water on his face.

He left the bathroom awhile later, still feeling sick to his stomach. The feeling didn't go away when his mother asked questions and his father came home, a passionate look on his face. The kind that he got when he achieved something of importance to him.

The feeling just grew worse.

XXXXX

**This will get a lot better in the 2nd chapter. You'll get some boy on boy action, so don't worry. It's coming… literally. And it goes into Sasuke's past. So, review if you want more. **

love ya guys,

robin


	2. Like a Drug

"**Where is God?"**

By: Robin Maxwell 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

**A/N: OKAY, I'M AN IDIOT. I NEED TO MAKE A CORRECTION. I PUT THAT THEY WERE IN THEIR SECOND SEMESTER OF SCHOOL, WELL I LIED. IT'S THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR FOR THEM. SORRY IF I CONFUSED ANYONE.**

**Pairings: main Sasuke and Naruto **

**Others**

Warning: a bit of lemon, lime, whatever the hell u want to call it and language 

_thoughts_

"dialogue"

"_God sets us nothing but riddles." _

_-Fyodor Dostoyevski _

**Chapter two**

**Like a Drug**

Sasuke tossed around in his sleep; sweat running along the side of his face as he shifted under the sheets. The darkness danced with the moonlight outside his window, casting shadows over the walls and on his bed. The light latched onto his face as if it were his guardian angel keeping a close eye on him as he dreamed.

If you could call it a dream.

_The room was dark, but eerily quiet after the loud bang. Sasuke had an inkling at what the noise was, but was determined to be proven wrong. He walked past the rocking chair in the living room and towards the hallway, where his parent's bedroom door lay. The hallway was thankfully dark, hiding the conflicting emotions on his face. A small light streamed from under the doorway, and he stared at it as he moved forward. _

_A sob was heard, along with the sound of something gushing. He gripped the doorknob, fear rising off of him in waves. The door creaked open as he turned the knob, his body stilling completely at the sight in front of him. _

_A small revolver lay on the floor; smoke still rising from the bullet's exit. His dad's body pressed down face first into the plush carpet now stained the color crimson. His mother's body trembling over his form with a simple kitchen knife clutched in her hands. She kept on stabbing him in the back, the sound becoming repulsive to the boy's ears. _

_He made a small gagging noise as he threw up in the doorway. His mother turned towards him, tears running down her face as she smiled at him. A small laugh fell from her lips as she stood up slowly, her dress trapped under her knees. She stumbled towards him, one of her hands outstretched for him. _

_Sasuke backed out of the room, his back hitting the hallway wall behind him. _

"_Don't worry, baby. It's just going to be us three now. So don't cry, Shh. It's all right." She cooed him in a baby voice as she laid her head against his chest. He could feel the knife's dull blade digging into the side of his ribs, but ignored it as she rubbed the side of his arm. _

_Hot tears were running down the sides of his cheeks as he shook against her. His mother's long black hair tickled him under his chin, sending chills down his spine as he watched the blood around his father's body race further away from his body. It was running in rivulets towards them, as if he would still get revenge in the afterlife. _

_The knife was digging into his side deeper now. He was sure that it had broken skin, but he couldn't find something in his mind to register the pain. _

_A movement to his right caught his eye and he felt himself slink up the wall further, trying to get away. The scream of his mother-_

Sasuke jolted awake, his breath hitching every few seconds as he sat up. His mind screamed at the nightmare, his body demanding movement. He felt frozen by fear at that night four weeks ago.

He shuddered in thought. It had only been a month? It felt like it had been a lifetime ago. His whole life changed within that one night. He had lost his father, his mother, and… his older brother. But it felt like his parents' spirits were still roaming the planet, like his brother's real body did. They wanted revenge. His mother for his father's betrayal, and his father's for the short-lived life he left behind. His brother… was gone. He was in a completely different world; the same one that his mother had gotten lost in.

Itachi was insane, completely over the top. There was no way to get him back, especially when no one knew where to find him to at least help him. Sasuke didn't want to know where he was.

Even though it had been his brother that had saved him.

XXXXX

Gym--the last class of the day. Naruto grinned at everyone around him, even though he felt like throwing up his lunch. He still hadn't gotten over the brutal discussion at the dinner table a few nights ago. His father had gone on and on about why the bill to let gays and lesbians adopt children was a monstrosity to society, and how disgusting it was that two men could actually be together. He hadn't said anything about two women, which made Naruto even angrier. His father was being biased, and it had made him frown during the whole conversation.

You couldn't even call it a conversation really. It was just his father talking, his mother nodding her head every few minutes, and Naruto staring blurrily down at his plate of untouched food.

His hands shook with anger at the memory, so he tried to block it out with the chatter going on around him. Of course, the one conversation he picked up on was about the moody new kid.

"I knew you were a freak when I saw you. And apparently, so is everyone in your family. My girlfriend went to your old school and told me that you left because of your fucked up family." A tall boy sneered down at Sasuke.

Naruto watched. He knew that the boy was a homophobe, being on the football and wrestling team. He was smaller than most guys were for those kinds of teams, but he was fast and he knew it. The guy had openly admitted that he hated fags and anyone that was a freak. The moment he had seen Sasuke, he had thought that he was both.

The blonde thought that he was probably the type of guy that went home and dressed up in his mother's clothing and liked the feel of another man's body rubbing up against his own a little too much when he wrestled. Which is why he was acting like a homophobic jerk. He was scared. But that still didn't give him the right to bash everyone else.

Sasuke didn't seem fazed by this at all as he kept on walking past him.

"How your mom killed your dad 'cause he was a cheating bastard, and then turned on you. Your brother stepped in, didn't he? Or was it you that chopped her up into little pieces and blamed it on your missing brother?"

Sasuke stopped at his words and glared at the floor. No one was supposed to know what happened. It was the whole reason why he moved downtown, away from his old school, his old life, and away from everything he knew and loved.

He bit back on his emotions as he balled his fists up. He turned around, ready to wipe the smirk off the jock's face, but didn't get his chance as a blonde stepped in front of him.

"Leave him alone, Donny." Naruto said through gritted teeth.

"Oh look, it's the fag to the rescue. What'cha gonna do about it?"

Naruto closed his eyes as he ground his teeth harder. He was sick of pricks like him, and he had never gotten a chance to shut them up. He had always been raised not to fight unless for self defense, but that didn't mean that he had listened.

"Go fuck yourself." He told him as he punched him in the gut. The blonde had surprising speed, and even more unforeseen force behind his blow. It had come from years of boxing that he still did today. The one thing he did for his father, to show that he wasn't a wimp. But he had learned to like it, because he could always get his frustrations out on a punching bag with every hit and kick.

He had winded the boy, his body bending forward in pain. His face turned red as he sucked in air. Naruto turned around and looked towards the Uchiha.

"Sorry to take away your punching bag, but he's been asking for that for a while now." The blonde told him.

Sasuke just stared at him.

"I could have handled it." He told him, his voice unusually quiet.

Naruto blinked at the fragile tone in his voice. Whatever Donny had said, had gotten a rise out of him. Maybe it was true.

"You okay?" Naruto asked him as he walked a little closer. He still kept his distance though, not wanting to scare the boy off. He was probably just as straight and homophobic as the asshole behind him.

Sasuke just nodded his head, not really paying attention to the blonde. Naruto took a step closer and waved a hand in front of his face. The raven-haired boy blinked out of it and stared at the floor, his cheeks reddening slightly.

Naruto looked around the gym. They still had a few minutes before their teacher would actually show up and do her job.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" He asked Sasuke.

The other boy looked up at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Naruto didn't give him a chance to say anything as he grabbed his hand and ran off towards the locker room. He hurriedly changed his clothes, noticing that at least the other boy was following his example and doing the same.

He grabbed his book bag just as the Uchiha walked over to him with his stuff ready.

"So, how are we going to get out of here?"

Naruto smiled at him.

"Easy. The bathrooms are right beside us and they leave the windows open. It drops down close to the park." He answered him as he peeked out of the room, eyes searching the hallway. He opened the door after not seeing anyone and walked into the bathroom a few feet away, Sasuke following him.

As he watched the blonde's back, he thought to himself, _why am I doing this?_

But when an answer didn't pop up, he ignored the question and stepped up on one of the sinks to crawl out the window. He dropped down, and would have fallen on top of Naruto had the blonde not moved away.

Naruto decided not to say anything about it and ran the length of the building, stopping at the corner. He peeked around the side and made his way behind the line of dense trees and bushes. Sasuke noted that he knew what he was doing, meaning he had probably done this before.

When they had gotten off of school grounds, and were fully in the park, Naruto turned to Sasuke.

"So, where do you wanna go?" He asked him, a goofy grin on his face. Doing something reckless always put him in a good mood. He didn't know if it was because he was doing something his parents would disapprove of or the rush it gave him to be caught any moment and they find out. He guessed it was both, since they were pretty much the same. Either way, it came up with him disappointing them and getting into trouble.

Sasuke looked at him questioningly. Where did he want to go? He didn't know many places that they could go to… besides his house. But he didn't know if his aunt was home yet.

"I don't know what's around here." He admitted.

Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment. Well, to be honest, he didn't know any places around here either. Probably because there weren't any. Well, not ones that were in walking distance.

"Well, I guess we could go to my place. Dad's at work and I think Mom went to a church meeting. What's today, again?"

"Friday." Sasuke answered as they crossed the street and walked up the hill on the overgrown sidewalk.

"Yep, she's not there either."

He smiled to himself as he walked past the old fashioned houses that had been turned into apartments and thought to himself. He was glad that today was Friday. Not only because of the weekend coming up ahead, but also because of the festivities going on a little further in downtown tonight. He just hoped he would be able to go tonight.

"So, Sasuke, what do you like to do?"

Sasuke just glared at him. He didn't dislike the boy; otherwise he wouldn't have left with him. He really didn't know what it was though. He was drawn to the blonde. But he didn't know why. They weren't a like, at all. They were complete opposites. Whereas the blonde was the day out in the desert, sunny and fiery, he was the night, dark and chilly.

He had been confused by him at first, wondering why someone so bright, probably has everything going for him, and warm could want anything to do with him. Sasuke knew not to trust anyone, not again. He believed only in himself and no one else.

No one would always be there for you. No matter what they said or promised you.

And that wouldn't change.

And yet…

"Listen to music." He found himself telling the boy. And it was true. From the time he got home from school to the time he went to bed, he always had something on. When he was in the shower or getting dressed for school, the computer or his stereo would always be belting out notes.

"Really? What kind?"

"Anything. I like classical, rock, jazz, and even some rap. I guess whatever's on the radio."

"Same here. But I have to be sneaky about it. My parents don't like me listening to rock. They say its Satanical, which is complete bull. They actually tried to get me to sing in the youth choir at my church, and I did for a few years, but I quit last year. Still don't know how I managed to do that."

Sasuke glanced over at the other boy as they came up to an apartment building that was clumped together with a few other buildings that looked exactly like it.

"Do you not like to sing?"

"No. I love it. I just hated singing hymns, because they meant nothing to me." He opened the door for them and walked inside, the air conditioner hitting them face first. Naruto pressed the button for the elevator and turned towards Sasuke.

"It made me feel like I was lying to everyone there." He said truthfully, the dinging of the elevator sounding after him. They got in and the doors closed after them, the blonde hitting the button for his floor.

"So you don't like church, then?" The dark haired boy asked, finding himself curious. He didn't remember being genuinely interested this much in someone else's life in a while. Yeah he had had friends back at his old school, but they had turned on him after what happened. They honestly thought that he had killed his family. A lot of people did. The only one in his family that believed him was his Aunt Clara, who he was happy to be living with now.

"No, I really don't. But I can't say that to my parents, they'd kill me." He said remorsefully.

Sasuke nodded his head in understanding. He had never had to pretend to be a Christian, but he had had pressure put on him to be just as good as his brother.

As the elevator stopped and they went to his door, Naruto became more curious as to know why this guy was being so… talkative and open. He didn't seem like the type.

Naruto checked to make sure his mom wasn't home and went to his room when he saw that she wasn't.

"Make yourself at home." He told Sasuke as he flipped on his CD player and threw his stuff over into the corner.

"Hope you like Zeromancer."

Naruto flopped down on his bed and gazed up at his "friend". He looked uncomfortable just standing there with his backpack on.

"You can sit down, you know."

Sasuke shrugged out of his straps and put his bag down on the floor properly, and sat down at the computer. He was pondering over how to ask the blonde a certain question. He wasn't one to think these things over; he normally just said it bluntly. But he didn't want to offend him or make him mad… for some reason.

"Are you really gay?" He finally divulged, not one to deal patience.

Naruto sighed on the bed. Once again, he didn't care if he told people, but he honestly didn't know how the boy in his room would take it. He had been staring at him a lot lately, and had even invited him into his apartment, in his room, with no one there. It didn't really look too good. And he really didn't want to frighten the other boy off, not now.

"Yes," he said after a while.

Before Sasuke could say anything he added, "But don't worry, I'm not gonna molest you."

The other boy snorted.

"Like you would. You don't seem like the type of guy to do that."

Naruto looked over at him and sat up, raising an eyebrow at him in question.

"Oh? So you know me so well? Then tell me, what type of guy am I?" He asked, a serious tone to his voice. He was just messing with him, but he was also curious to know where this was going.

Sasuke didn't look away from him as he answered.

"You act like your outgoing when with others, but if you got someone alone, you wouldn't know what to do. You'd probably blush, stutter, be clumsy, and make even more of an idiot out of yourself."

The blonde narrowed his eyes at that. Oh… so that's what he thought, huh? Maybe he should show him what he was really like.

He stood up and walked over to the boy, stopping a few inches in front of him. He bent down and placed his mouth by Sasuke's ear and whispered, "I take back what I said then."

Naruto's hands came up to rest on the arms of the chair, making sure the Uchiha couldn't escape. He knew he was probably pushing it, and that the other boy might run away and never talk to him again or even punch him, but he didn't want to think about that now. So, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and licked the shell of his ear.

A shiver ran down the other boy's back, making Naruto grin to himself as he dropped his head down to his neck. His tongue flicked out against his skin and drew a small circle before his lips placed small kisses down his throat. The other boy gulped, his Adam's apple moving with it. Naruto nibbled under his jaw as he heard the other boy take a shaky breath. He decided that he liked the sound of it and wanted to hear more, so he continued to tease Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke on the other hand didn't want to be teased. It had been so long since someone had touched him and he didn't feel like going through a bunch of girly crap just to blow off some steam. It was the whole reason he had given up on girls. No matter how much they said they loved him, they never wanted to take it too far. Most of them even saying not unless he asked them to marry him. And he sure as hell didn't want to go to the school slut and catch some kind of disease or become engaged to someone.

What were they? Stupid? Apparently. He was only eighteen; he didn't want to even think about marriage. However, they seemed to have nothing but that on their mind. Especially with him. Probably had to do with the fact that his family used to have money. He wouldn't be able to touch that money though until he was twenty-one though… but he didn't care about that at the moment. He just wanted to get his frustrations out. And he wanted to now.

He grabbed the other boy by his hair and pulled him up, kissing him roughly on the lips. He stood up, driving the other boy back with his directness. They fell over on top of the made up bed, Sasuke forcing his tongue into the other boy's parted lips. He liked the groans coming out of the blonde, but liked the feel of his body pressed against his even more.

Naruto sucked in a mouth full of air as his lips separated from Sasuke's. He was taken aback by the change in direction that this was going in, but he didn't really care. God be damned, how could he not enjoy this? The feel of solid muscle shifting against his skin, hips grinding into his own, and a hard ache pressing against his own. He loved it. It was intoxicating… like a drug.

He just hoped his parents didn't walk in.

A hand wandered between their bodies and unzipped his pants, shoving its way down into his boxers. Naruto moaned into the side of Sasuke's neck as he was jerked off. A dark head of hair moved away so that black eyes met navy ones. The glare he was giving the blonde didn't go unheeded as he felt a hand wander down his body and palm him through his uniform pants.

"Stop teasing," he hissed out. The blonde complied, and he closed his eyes as a hand softer than his on began to stroke him.

Both boys lay there panting as they touched each other, not caring what was going on around them. Or how a few questions and teasing led to jerking someone, who was almost a complete stranger, off. But that didn't matter at the moment as Sasuke quickened his pace, Naruto following his lead seconds after.

Sasuke bit down on his bottom lip as he buried his face into the blonde's neck. The boy's scent underneath him was enthralling, making him want to taste him. He sucked on his throat vigorously for a few minutes until he felt the blonde's body stiffen under his. With a stifled moan into his shoulder, Naruto came. Sasuke soon followed after, his sigh silenced by his mouth biting down on Naruto's collarbone.

They lay still for a few more minutes, Zeromancer still sounding in the background, before Sasuke retreated his hand and stood up. He asked where the bathroom was and went to go clean himself up as Naruto laid completely still.

He couldn't believe what had just happened between him and someone he had known for less than two weeks. Hell, he hadn't even really had a conversation with the guy until today. So, what did this mean? What were they now? He didn't know if he wanted to be in a relationship with anyone, especially since he still liked Neji.

It was too confusing to think about, he decided. So when Sasuke came back, he took his turn to go clean himself up. Taking as little time as possible so that he could get back and ask what had just happened. As he walked back from the bathroom a few minutes later, he read the time on the clock. At least if his parents came home now, then it would be late enough in the afternoon for them not to get suspicious of him skipping out on last period.

And getting a hand job from another boy.

But they wouldn't suspect that anyway. They still thought that he had a long distance girlfriend from last year at church camp. Oh… how he hated that place. He was so glad he didn't have to go back this summer.

When he got back to his room, he noticed the black haired teen spread out on his bed. Naruto suddenly felt nervous. How should he ask him? Should he beat around the bush? No, he hated it when people did that. But that was because he usually didn't get it and felt stupid afterwards. Best way was to just come out with it.

"Sasuke? What just happened?" He asked as he stood by the door, keeping a good distance between them.

"I thought that was obvious. We just jacked each other off."

Naruto blushed. Man, this guy just said whatever he wanted to, didn't he? He sighed before rephrasing his question.

"I mean… what does this make us? I don't normally do this kind of thing with people I just met."

"Us…" the boy on the bed whispered to himself. He knew he didn't want to get involved with the blonde, but he also wouldn't mind doing that again. So, what were they? After a few minutes of mulling it over in his head, he answered him.

"I guess we're friends… with benefits." He said truthfully.

Before the blonde could respond, the sound of a door opening echoed through the house.

"Naruto!" A voice called out.

XXXXX

Okay peoples, make sure you read the author's note at top. Oh, and Naruto takes Muay Thai boxing, just to let you know. I've already written the next… two chapters I think. So, if you want me to update soon, then give me feedback ppl. Even if its to just say how crappy my boy on boy scenes are! XD


	3. Open Fire

"**Where is God?"**

**By: Robin Maxwell**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

**Any religions that I mention in here, if I get them wrong, feel free to correct me. Other than that, I'll try my best to get everything right. **

**Pairings: main Sasuke and Naruto **

**Others**

**Warning: I am not Christian, but that doesn't mean I'm against anyone who is. I'm not here to bash anyone's religion and if I cause offense in the story, then it's my opinion. Everything in this chapter is true, except for my own personal view on SOME churches and SOME Christians. If you have any questions though, then ask away. I'm sorry if anyone gets offended, but I warned you. **

**Oh, and Sasuke acts OOC in this part. But you'll get over it. **

"_Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but—live for it." _

_-Charles Caleb Colton_

**Chapter three **

**Open Fire**

Naruto quickly turned off the music and made sure he didn't have any hickies on his neck. He hadn't bothered to look in the mirror of the bathroom, but was glad that he had one in his room. To his horror though, a small red mark was starting to show on the side of his neck. He pulled the collar of his shirt up a little and tried to hide it. It would work for the time being, but he would have to do something later on to cover up.

He wondered briefly if the girl Sakura down the hall had any make-up he could borrow. She would probably think he was a drag queen, but he could worry about that later.

Sasuke had moved to sit in the computer chair, his eyes resting on the blonde to see what he would do. He didn't want to get Naruto in trouble, especially after hearing that his family was extremely religious. He didn't even have to ask the blonde to know that his parent's did not know about his sexual preferences.

The door opened to Naruto's room and the blonde stopped raking his fingers through his hair to look over at his Mom.

"Sweetie, you didn't tell me that you were bringing a friend over. If I had known I would have been home sooner." She told him.

Naruto just scratched the back of his head, giving her a small smile.

"I didn't really know about it either. We got assigned as partner's in English for a project and we thought we should go ahead and get started on it." He lied through his teeth. Sasuke smiled inwardly as he watched the blonde woman, who looked almost exactly like Naruto, smile back at him. Did she actually believe him? That was a horrible lie. All you had to do was look around the room to see that they weren't doing anything but sitting. No notebooks opened, no pens and pencils littering the bed, no word document opened on the computer or website. Nothing that indicated that they were at work on a school project.

"Okay. Well, if you two need anything just tell me. And why don't you have your friend stay for dinner." It wasn't a question and both boys knew it. Sasuke just nodded his head as Naruto gave another weak smile before she left, leaving the door slightly ajar enough to fit an arm in.

Naruto closed the door and sighed, running his hands over his face in frustration.

"Man… this is going to be awkward."

XXXXX

Awkward was an understatement. When everyone sat down for dinner, Naruto's father tried to pull Sasuke into conversation about what his parent's did, where he lived, if he went to church, and finally, what he thought about the new bill that was trying to be passed.

Sasuke answered most of his questions with a yes sir, until he was asked about his family. All he said was that he lived with his aunt and left it at that. When he was asked the last question, he made the mistake of saying that he didn't really care either way. Which was a lie… one that he hated to tell.

That set Naruto's father off into his sermon about what was right and wrong in God's eye. How it was an outrage to Christians and the country alike. Naruto had never seen his father this adamant about anything before, and wondered momentarily if this was how he looked when he was trying to convince people outside of the church to sign that damn petition.

Sasuke was lost in the feeling of Naruto's discomfort. He couldn't say that he felt welcome or at ease in the blonde's home, but he didn't feel trapped or confused like the older man sitting across from him probably wanted him to. He did, however feel slightly guilty about what just happened on the blonde's bed. But the more his father talked, the less guilty he felt, even feeling slightly smug at the thought of "violating" the church goers son.

He had also known about the bill and had felt that it was something that should have been passed years ago. Not just because of his own feelings for the same sex, but because he knew what it felt like to be parentless. It didn't matter if someone liked or was with the same sex when it came to giving someone an opportunity to feel wanted and be wanted. What mattered was that someone loved the kids that didn't have a family, gave them a home, a reason to be happy, and a place where they felt like they belonged.

So many kids had the opportunity to be happy if they could be adopted. And yet people who were afraid of homosexuality or thought that it was ungodly, wanted to take that away from these kids. It wasn't fair. It was cruel. It was decisions like these that were intolerable, not two men or two women loving one another.

Sasuke remembered why he didn't go to church now. Even though his family had not forced him into it, he had tried it once. Just to see if he felt the same thing that his old friends had talked about feeling when they were listening to a sermon or praying.

He hadn't felt anything. At least nothing spiritual.

But the few people that looked at him gave him the feeling of being sized up and judged. Especially when the preacher stared at him as if he knew what he did behind closed doors. He had walked out before the sermon was over, and had never stepped foot in a church since then. Sasuke didn't dislike someone if they believed in God, it was only when they started to preach and or judge him for his way of life that he started to have a problem with it. He did not like having someone press his or her religion on him.

And right now, he did not like Naruto's father. His mother he could tolerate, even though he thought she looked like the family dog that obeyed its Master's every command each time she bowed her head in a nod. He didn't want to get on their bad side, though.

However, he didn't feel like keeping his opinions to himself after hearing the dirty haired blonde say that gays were sick and perverted people who couldn't be trusted with children. And that they had the choice in whether or not they loved and or slept with the same sex.

"Homosexuality is not some kind of sickness. It's hereditary. They found the gene back in 1989. Anyone who says that they can change their mind about their choice is a fool. It's like deciding that after being mentally challenged all your life, you suddenly say you don't want to be. And there are just as many cases of sexual abuse towards the opposite sex of the abuser as there is of the same sex." Sasuke said, his long monologue surprising himself. He usually didn't like to talk, but if you got him on a subject he really cared about, then there was no stopping him. He could go on all night until the other person was either speechless or in agreement with him.

Sasuke's speech had stunned Naruto's family, even the blonde boy himself. But Naruto's father wasn't giving up yet. He pushed his glasses further up his nose before returning to the argument.

"If they're not perverts, then why are most men in jail rapping each other?"

"Rape is not an act of sex. It's a show of control, and thinking that gay men only screw each other in the butt is a common misconception. Some gay men don't even do that."

Naruto's Mom coughed in an embarrassed manner. Everyone looked towards her.

"Would anyone like dessert?"

No one answered, but she stood up and went into the kitchen anyway.

"It's still an unhealthy environment for children to grow up in. It will make them biased towards the heterosexual community and Christians. They might be recruited into being gay because it's all they know. They won't know the difference between being gay and wrong, or being straight and right."

Sasuke actually snorted, making the older man narrow his eyes.

"Are you saying that every married couple that stays together for their kids even though all they do is fight is a healthy environment for a child to grow up in? Or that a single parent household where the mother or father is never home because all they do is work is good for them? Or a parent that has to pull their kid out of school and let them fail classes because they're being taken out early so that their mother or father can go to work is healthy? What about households that have to have their kids get jobs at young ages so that they can support themselves or their families? Is that healthy for a child to grow up in?" Sasuke asked with bitterness in his voice. He wasn't stupid or unaware of the things going around him, which is pretty much what Naruto's father had thought. Hoping that he could use that against him.

Sasuke was like an open fire now. Anything you feed him made it grow more and consume anything in its path.

"And thinking that kids will be recruited is the most retarded thing I've ever heard. You can't force someone to be gay or straight. That's like telling someone their black all their life when their skin is white. It still doesn't change your genetics. And being biased? You're trying to make me partial towards gays by telling me things that aren't true. Most homophobic men and women make their children racist or prejudiced all the time. But you don't see a problem with that, do you?" He practically sneered at him.

Naruto's father was almost white in the face. He didn't answer any of those questions… because he didn't know how too. He just didn't have an answer for them, because no one had ever really been in disagreement with him.

Sasuke leaned in closer, liking the switch in roles once again. He really didn't like this man and he wanted to make him squirm more.

"Did you know that if one woman has a child from a surrogate father and raises that child with another woman, if something happens to her, her partner can't take custody of that kid and he or she could be sent off to an orphanage. And most families won't help out, because they're like you. Prejudiced. They think it's disgusting or ungodly. Well, who are we to say what's god like and what's not? You take everything from the bible so literal, when it's a book of stories. Everyone gets something different from it. It's been translated, interpreted, and had chapters removed throughout the years that it might not even be the real word of god… but most people don't even think about that. They just listen. They just obey. Without a thought. It's sad really… they're almost like zombies."

Silence and then,

Are you?"

"Okay, who wants apple pie?" Naruto's mother asked as she came back into the room, completely missing the heavy tension in the room.

"OUT!"

The blonde man stood up and towered over Sasuke with his hands balled up into fists on the table.

"GET OUT, NOW!" He bellowed at the Uchiha. Sasuke got up slowly and went to go get his bag in an unhurried manner, not even paying attention to the man as he yelled over and over again. He simply took his time and gave Naruto a sympathetic look as his father yelled at the blonde to never see him again.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke and watched him leave his apartment, the door closing quietly behind him.

XXXXX

Sakura was just coming up from the front desk of the complex, swearing lowly to herself at the inopportune time for the air conditioner to break down. The manager said that he would have to get someone to look at it tomorrow, since other tenants had been complaining about the same thing. And it was freaking 85 degrees in her apartment!

As she stepped out of the elevator and onto her floor, she saw someone walking towards her. She had never seen them before, and had even thought at first glance that they were a girl. She honestly couldn't tell if it was a girl that may like to dress up like a guy or if it was an actual guy.

Either way… pretty boy or hot girl.

They stepped past her and got into the elevator that she had just gotten out of. Sakura shrugged her shoulders and went back to her door, dreading the idea of how her dad was going to react when he came home tonight. If he came home, that is.

XXXXX

A few hours later, and Sakura was still by herself. Three fans were running in the apartment, making it slightly less hot. But she was still sweating like crazy, even in a tank top and shorts.

A knock came at the door, and Sakura put down the glass of water to peek through the peephole. She frowned slightly, wondering why he was here at this time of night. It was almost twelve. She opened the door.

"Um… hi, Sakura. I know it's late and everything, but this was the only time I could get out of my place. I was wondering if you could do me a favor." Naruto said shyly.

Sakura was reminded of her friend Hinata for a moment. She smiled and ushered him in.

"Sorry about the heat, but our stupid air conditioner died a few hours ago. So, what can I help you with?"

A red tint spread across his cheeks as he pulled down the collar of his shirt. Instead of one red mark, there were now two. The little sneaky bastard had been hiding, but they both stood out clearly now.

"I need these covered up. My parents can't see them or I'm dead."

Sakura laughed lightly at him. She had a guess at where he got those, but decided to ask him about it first.

"So, where'd you get them from?"

"Uh… a friend." He answered as she went into the bathroom and pulled out a bag. She grabbed a few things out of there and put them on the counter. Sakura beckoned him with her finger as she looked at the powders and concealers, and then his skin.

"Does this "friend" happen to have black hair and dark eyes?" She asked as she tested a few of them on his skin, trying to get the right color. He was a lot tanner than she was.

"Wha? How'd you know what he looks like?"

"I saw him earlier in the hallway. I actually thought he was a girl… thanks for clearing that up for me." Sakura told him honestly as she found the right mix and began to work it over the blots on his neck.

Naruto laughed at that.

"I'll have to tell him that later."

After covering up the nice bite marks on the blonde's neck, Sakura gave him both concealers that she used and told him how to use them.

"Thanks a lot. You don't know how much you just saved my sorry ass." He said with a grin.

Sakura just smiled at him and told him anytime. She really did like him. He was fun to talk to, and was refreshing next to a bunch of stuck up rich girls.

"Hey, if you ever need help with dressing in drag, just tell me. I'd love to help out with that. You'd make a pretty girl." She teased him, only half joking.

He would actually make a pretty girl… if he had long hair. Maybe put them into pig tails…

Naruto laughed at that and then left. He actually thought that he might want to try that sometime. Who knows, he might like dressing up like a girl.

XXXXX

The weekend was long. Naruto usually wouldn't mind, but he really felt like getting out of the house. And do more than just go to church. He hated going, but he couldn't just skip out on it. And his mom could always tell if he was faking being sick. So that was out of the question.

The main reason he didn't want to go was because he knew the topic about the bill was going to come up. And he didn't want to know about the progress.

So, as usual, he got up at eight o'clock in the morning on Sunday. He went through his usual routine and took a look at his bed for a few minutes. He could still picture Sasuke lying down on it. For some reason, he really wanted to see him. And not because he liked screwing around with him, even though he had never really done that before with another boy other than Neji. The idea of being fuck buddies was new and he had to admit it thrilled him.

But what he really wanted at that moment was to be with him and talk to him.

He thought the boy was of very few words, until a couple days ago at the dinner table. He had never seen someone get so angry. Naruto could understand though. He wished he could have been the one to say those things. It wasn't that he was a coward and couldn't stand up to his own parents. But damn, if they found out or if he said something like that, it would be pretty much the same response. Yelling at him to get out of the house would be the least of his problems. He would be completely disowned from his entire family.

Except… for his uncle. His uncle was the black sheep in the family. He didn't fit in anywhere. He had stopped going to church when he graduated high school, didn't go to college, never been married, and wrote porn for a living.

Not the kind of things you did in Naruto's family if you still wanted to be considered apart of it.

Naruto had not seen him in a long time though. All he remembered about him was his white hair and that he was his mother's older brother. They were almost sixteen years apart and shared a different father. Even though divorce wasn't looked very nicely upon in his family either, it was still there. Just most of the participants were dead, so it's not like the family could criticize them that much anymore.

Even though they still did.

His mother's voice came from the other side of his door. He took one last look at his bed and sighed to himself before walking out into the living room.

XXXXX

While everyone closed their eyes and lowered their heads, Naruto looked around at the oh so familiar surroundings. Tall painted windows that ran down from the top floor to the bottom one, bathing the marble floors in shades of blue and pink. Over extravagant golden chandeliers that had a few burnt out light bulbs mixed in with hundreds of others that still glowed too brightly for his liking hung over the middle of the church floor. There were long rowed pews on the first floor beneath the balcony he was sitting in; the seats filled with people, some of them gaping in long stretches as fewer people came each Sunday. The choir dressed in their dark maroon robes with a hymnbook on their lap sat on their chair, which stood on slightly raised stairs of the stage. Two pianos sat on either side of the stage, large silver organ pipes raising up on the walls, and of course the organ itself on the back wall behind the choir. All these things surrounding the hefty cross hanging on the wall, a scarf of purple draped over it.

And last, the preacher standing at the podium, a bulky bible that looked overused sitting in front of him as he prayed. The prayer came to an end without Naruto noticing until he saw a wave of heads lift up.

The preacher went on with a few announcements about some missionaries that belonged to their church overseas, along with some things about meetings, Teens for Christ on Wednesday being pushed up an hour early, and then the update on the progress of the church's petition against the new bill.

"So far we've got nearly one hundred and fifty signatures, and Kazuma Uzumaki and Mike Klien say that they can probably have twice as many within the next two weeks before the bill is sent to the Senate."

A few people started to clap, Naruto's mom jabbing him in the side to make sure he was paying attention. He didn't clap. He pretended to daydream until everyone was done clapping, making his mom look at him disapprovingly. Crap, he was probably gonna get in trouble for that later.

He had a feeling that his mom was suspicious about him after that whole fiasco with Sasuke the other night. Naruto knew she didn't think he was gay, but that he was probably doing something that would get him into a world of trouble. He just hoped she wouldn't call the school or try to get into contact with Sasuke's aunt.

Two women gossiping together usually spelled trouble. Especially with his mother. All she did was gossip with neighbors. He had actually found out yesterday that she had been meddling in Sakura's business, finding out that she lived alone with her father, who was now out of a job and almost never home.

He felt bad for the girl, even though he had just met her. He liked her and felt like he could become good friends with her if they spent more time together. But after his mother found out that the girl was left alone a lot, he wouldn't be able to go over to her apartment much. Probably never, unless he snuck out after they went to bed like he did on Friday night.

His mother didn't trust him. She always told him she did, but he knew otherwise. Sometimes he'd come home and find some of his things missing or in different places than before in his room, meaning that one of his parent's had gone through his stuff. And who had all that time on their hands? The only person that stayed home during the day like the good wife she was.

Sometimes he didn't feel close to his parents at all. It had to due largely with the fact that he was keeping such a big secret from them, but there were things that had started happening before he had even found that out that caused it as well. He had grown busier over the years, along with his father, and his mom was used to being alone or with her friends from church, which left them little time to spend time with one another. The only time they ever really spent any time together was in church or at the dinner table.

At church they were seen as one of the best families. They were nice, clean, there every Sunday and Wednesday, always participated in fundraisers and activities, and gave a good bit of money every chance they got. Naruto and his family weren't rich, but they were definitely well off. The only reason they were living in an apartment for the last few years was because his father made all the decisions about how they spent _his_ money.

After having Naruto, all they could afford was a smaller apartment than the one they were living in now. His mother hadn't been all that young when she had him either, meaning that they stopped trying having kids soon after, not wanting to have any complications for her or the baby.

After a few years of living in the dingy place, they had moved into the place they live in now. It really wasn't that bad of a place. It was for the middle class and was in walking distance of almost everywhere. Naruto's school, the church they had been going to for the last sixteen years, grocery store, and the shops and galleries a little further in downtown.

The main thing was, his dad didn't see a need to move into a house since they didn't have any pets or more kids. The three-room apartment was good enough for them, and it saved them a lot of money to spend on other crap.

Like helping to add onto the church. The church itself had been small when they had first started going here, but after years of saving money and having rich contributors, the new Sanctuary had been built. The building now used for the youth minister and the teens had been the old sanctuary, and had enough room for Sunday school and Wednesday nights. It was perfect.

Except to Naruto.

He had never liked big places. Usually because they tended to need more work, more color, more everything to put life into it. The church held no life in it, not even when music was blaring from pipes or from the mouths of the choir. It still felt empty even when it was filled with hundreds of people.

He always felt lost and out of place in there. Every Sunday and Wednesday.

Right now though, he felt even more out of place. He didn't believe in God. He didn't believe in the Holy Spirit or anything that the preacher told them... even though he tried desperately. It bothered him sometimes that he didn't believe, especially when he used to be a Christian. It hadn't even been that long ago that he had prayed before he went to bed and asked god for forgiveness. But all of that had changed when he started to question things. And when all he got were more questions than answers in return… he started to doubt everything. Now, he was just lost. Naruto still didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

He also didn't like the preacher. The man was aloof, almost never at fundraisers, always shoving his family up on stage to do songs or play important roles in plays, and hardly there. He was like the boss of a very prosperous business. Always talked about, but rarely seen.

Naruto thought that the man just liked to hear himself speak and make bad jokes at the podium. Other than that, it was like the man was a ghost. He gave Naruto the creeps, especially when he looked at him while talking about the sins of the flesh. It was like he knew something.

Naruto's mother was standing up, making him shake out of his thoughts and join the real world. He stood up and they went down the stairs to have small talk with other members of the church before they left.

XXXXX

The car ride home usually only took them about five minutes with stoplights and traffic, but today it seemed to drag on. He wished his parents would just let him walk, but they didn't want him too, knowing that it might not look right.

His mother was talking about the sermon and how good it was today. Almost better than last Sunday's, when the youth minister had taken his first time up on the stage.

"Naruto? Were you thinking about something during church? You seemed awfully distracted when Pastor Martin was talking about Wednesday night. I thought you loved going on Wednesdays." She said. Naruto could hear the guilt she was trying to place on him because he had not gone last Wednesday. He had had too much homework and studying to do.

"I was just thinking about what he was saying during the sermon, and how true it was." He answered automatically.

"Oh, all right. Anyway, do you want to go with me tonight? We're having a meeting about some out of town missionary trips. I think it would be good if you went with me this coming weekend to Charlotte. We're going to one of the shopping malls to talk to people, hand out some bibles, and have a small charity performance for future trips."

"Isn't that for the adults though? I thought I was going with the youth group to Greensboro in a few months?" He said unsurely. He didn't want to go to either, but he'd rather be with some kids who were kind of like him than be with a bunch of old people who sat under a white tent in the mall, put up signs, but didn't go up to random people to talk to them and still call it an Outreach Mission.

At least the teenagers went up to pretty much anyone and asked away. He thought he would have been annoyed to do that, but sometimes it was fun to just see what someone would say. He had actually come across one guy who had spoken perfect English to him before he asked if he was a Christian, then saying he didn't speak any English and ran off with his family.

"Well, it is, but you can still come if you want to. I know Mary Ann's daughter is going."

Ah ha! So that's why she wanted him to go. Mary Ann had a daughter that was about his age, and the two mothers and been conspiring to get them together for as long as he could remember. The woman's daughter wasn't ugly, that was for sure, but she could be a real bitch. She and Naruto had not gotten along the first time they met, and yet his mother kept on trying to push her on him.

It was getting really annoying by now.

"I can't anyway. I promised to give a demonstration with Mr. G's class this Saturday. Remember?"

"Oh, yes. Silly me, I forgot. And I wish you would call him by his whole name."

Naruto just smiled to himself as he managed to get out of it. And at the fact that they were pulling into a parking space at their building. He just wished that tomorrow would start already.

XXXXX

Mondays were usually the worst day out of the week. For anyone. But for some reason, Sasuke was having an "okay" day. He wouldn't go as far to say that he enjoyed it, because that would just be wrong for any morose teenager like himself to say.

As he walked into the gym, he headed straight for the locker room, noticing that the guy who had messed with him on Friday was giving him a dirty look. Sasuke just smirked at him and kept on walking.

The locker room was almost cleared out. There were a few guys tying up their laces on the benches, but other than that, he was by himself. Or so he thought.

As he opened his locker and pulled out his change of clothes, he saw the blonde boy he had been thinking about all weekend walking away from his locker. Sasuke went around on his side and walked down the other aisle of lockers to reach him. He grabbed him by his wrist and pushed him up against a few lockers that needed to be repainted badly.

"What the?" Naruto said before he saw that it was Sasuke. He felt kind of relieved to see him, even though he was currently being pushed up against something that was hurting his back. Something that felt distinctly like a lock.

"Did I get you into trouble?" The black haired boy asked as he ran his tongue up the blonde's neck.

"Not really." He said with a sigh. His arms came to rest on the other boy's waist, pulling him slightly closer as he continued to kiss down his neck. Naruto's eyes closed as a pair of lips met his own. The kiss was rough, just like it had been a few days ago. But the blonde didn't mind. He parted his lips more as a wet tongue pressed against his own almost urgently. Sasuke's hands wandered over his hips and played with the waistband of the blonde's black gym shorts.

Just as one of those hands was about to venture down Naruto's shorts, a voice sounded next to the two entangled boys.

"Glad to see you're playing nice with the new kid, Naruto, but Shikamaru says that he needs to talk to you."

XXXXX

**This actually happened to me when I was like thirteen, the whole Hispanic guy pretending not to speak English. Yes, I used to be a Christian, but now… I guess you could say I'm searching. I do believe in a higher power, meaning I'm agnostic, but I don't know what it is yet. Hopefully I'll find it though. And no matter how much I read up on government, I'll never understand it. If anyone knows a thing about it, PLEASE tell me. I might not get it at first, but if you have any patience then you might get something into my head! And hell, I don't know if Naruto's dad should have an American name or what, but whatever. Just so you know that the Yondaime is not his father… cause I wouldn't turn him into a prick like naru's dad is gonna be in this!**

**IMPORTANT: I wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed, it really means a lot to me. Also, I posted this story on another site and have gotten three times the amount of reviews and just as many hits. The other site has the same amount of chapters and everything too. So, if you think I'm a bitch for holding out on chapters until I get some reviews… well, then get over it. Cause that's what I'll do if I don't get some kind of response. **

**Some people say that it shouldn't matter and that you should just do it for fun. If I just wanted to do it for fun then I wouldn't bother posting things in the first place and just write to my heart's content. However, how can I know if anyone reads my stories and actually likes or hates it if I don't get some kind of response? So, just give me some kind of criticism or Something! That's all I ask. It shouldn't be that hard, especially since I allow anonymous reviews. **

**Thanks again to the people who actually gave me some kind of reaction out of this story, that's what I wanted! A reaction! Some of the things in here are very touchy subjects for people, including myself, so it's nice to know that someone else feels the same way I do. I'm babbling now, so whatever. **

**Love you guys,**

**Robin **


	4. Drifting

"**Where is God?"**

**By: Robin Maxwell**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

**A/N: Any religions that I mention in here, if I get them wrong, feel free to correct me. Other than that, I'll try my best to get everything right. **

**Pairings: main Sasuke and Naruto **

**Others**

Warning: nothing really… just angst… lots of it. Also, I don't know if gays and lesbians are allowed to adopt in the state of North Carolina. I keep on finding either nothing, or yes, or no for different websites, so I'm just gonna put that I don't know. If anyone DOES know for a fact, then please let me know. I'd greatly appreciate it. 

"_Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."_

_-Albert Einstein _

**Chapter four**

**Drifting **

Sasuke almost let out a sound close to a growl as he was interrupted, but didn't move away from the blonde at the voice. He looked to his right and saw a boy with white eyes and long dark hair pulled back in a tail. Naruto on the other hand pushed the Uchiha away slightly, a blush staining his cheeks. Sasuke gave him a look.

"W-what does he want?"

"Something about a homework assignment you said he could borrow. I'll tell him you're a bit busy at the moment, though," he said before walking off, not paying attention to Naruto as he told him to wait.

"Shit," Naruto cursed as he watched him leave.

"What's wrong?" The other boy asked. It wasn't that he was concerned, more like he was angry at being pushed away like that.

"That's Neji… one of my friends. I kind of… um…"

"Like him?" Sasuke supplied. He could see that he felt something for the other boy by the way he looked at him and blushed like a stuttering school girl.

The blonde just nodded his head. Sasuke felt something close to jealously rise up in him, but he ignored it.

"So? It doesn't mean that we can't still do this." And without words, he showed him what he meant by "this". Or he had planned to, but the blonde pushed him away again.

"We should get out there now. And you haven't even dressed out yet. So go change clothes and I'll see you out there." Naruto told him as he moved out of the way and went into the gym.

Anger started to well up inside of the raven-haired boy. He had just been pushed away twice by the one person he even considered close to a friend, if Sasuke could even call him that. And he didn't know what pissed him off more, Naruto pushing him away or liking someone else.

The more he thought about it though as he pulled on his gym clothes, the more his anger dissipated. He was still mad that he had been pushed away, but it's not like he was in a relationship with the boy. He didn't want to be. And the only things he wanted from him, he could get without ever having to be in one.

So, with that thought in mind, he entered the gym and stood in his spot as the teacher did roll check. All during class though, he found himself staring at the blonde.

XXXXX

Zabuza walked into the teacher lounge, his favorite mug in his hand. He was about to refill his cup of coffee when he saw a teen in the room.

"Excuse me? Are you allowed in-"

A boy with long brown hair turned around, a clip board in his hands. His brown eyes watched Zabuza with amusement.

"Yes sir. I'm allowed in here."

"Haku? What the hell are you doing here now?" The teacher asked in a hushed whisper.

"He's with me." Another voice said behind Zabuza. Said man turned around and stared at his silver haired colleague.

"He's earning hours for his European History class by working as a student teacher for me." Kakashi told him.

"… oh…" Zabuza said dumbly.

"And if you don't mind, I need to borrow him for a moment." Kakashi said as he put both hands on his shoulder's and directed him out the door. Haku waved disinterestedly back at Zabuza as they left.

The U.S. History teacher stared after them, not noticing the tight grip he had on his mug.

XXXXX

It wasn't too late in the evening, but it was steadily getting colder. Even though it was the end of September, the weather liked to play tricks on its residents of North Carolina. A few days ago it had been hot as hell and now it was close to freezing.

Zabuza felt like he needed a walk. So, even though he could see his breath in front of him and feel his fingers going numb in his pockets, he still trudged down the sidewalk.

He was thinking about what Haku had told him a few days ago. About him not letting go of his past and moving on. It bothered him to know that this… kid could read him so easily. Not even his ex-wife could have interpreted him like that. But then again, he hadn't really given her the chance.

"Excuse me sir, may I ask you a couple of questions?" A voice asked, pulling him away from his thoughts.

Zabuza looked up and found himself staring into a pair of light gray-blue eyes. Black plastic frames outlined his eyes and rested on his nose as dirty blonde hair fell into his face. The man pushed his glasses further up his nose as he looked at Zabuza.

"… sure." He said distractedly. This man looked… very familiar.

"Have you heard of the bill they're trying to pass here? About homosexuals being able to adopt children?"

He nodded his head slowly. Something akin to guilt worked its way up his throat as he knew where this was going.

"Are you for it or against it?"

Zabuza's hands tightened in his pockets. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't really thought about it, thinking that it didn't concern him. It wasn't like he wanted to have any kids, and he especially wouldn't be able to have any of his own now. So adoption would be his only choice if he did change his mind… but he had never even considered it. Therefore, what did his opinion matter?

"I don't have an opinion on the matter." He muttered before walking off. With every step he took, he felt the guilt pounding inside of him. Zabuza didn't know why he felt this way. He hadn't done anything wrong.

So why did it feel like he was being torn from the inside out?

XXXXX

He was walking down the same unlit hallway. The sobs breaking through the door as he came to a stop in front of his parent's room. He opened the door and saw it all again. The gun, the blood, his father's body, and his hysterical mother. The bile pushed its way up inside of him again and he emptied his stomach in the doorway.

_With each step his mother took towards him, he took one back. When his back hit the wall behind him, he realized he couldn't go back anymore. Maybe he should try to go to the side this time. It was just a dream after all. If he couldn't wake himself, like he always tried to, then maybe he could change it. _

Except, it wasn't just a dream. He couldn't change something that had actually happened.

_Sasuke was frozen in place as his nightmare went further this time. His brother was dragging their mother down the hallway now, her legs kicking out spastically at anything in reach. The boy slid down the wall as her screams were cut off abruptly, another noise close to gasping filling his ears. Through the darkness, he could see nothing, but heard something splatter against the floor. _

_Sasuke stood up. His legs working without even thinking about it. He walked towards the living room. His eyes adjusted to the dark surroundings and found two figures on the floor by the bookcase. He stepped towards them, but stopped when something fell from the hand of the one sitting up and moved towards him. _

_It rolled over the carpet and came to a stop at his feet. Sasuke peered down at it. His legs began to tremble as he fell back onto the floor. A pair of black eyes stared up at him in a pleading manner. But there was nothing he could do now. One of his legs kicked out, sending his mother's head back across the room. He rose from the floor and ran out of the room and through the back door. _

_Sasuke ran through the woods, tree branches hitting his face and scratching his arms and legs. But he didn't stop. He couldn't. He broke out of the wooded area and stepped right in front of a truck. The vehicle swerved around him as the driver slammed on his brakes. _

_A man jumped out of the truck, walked up to him, and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. A fist was put up threateningly in front of his face, but he just blinked at it. He couldn't really see it. _

All he could see were those begging eyes.

Sasuke didn't move when he woke up. He just lay there and blinked up at the ceiling. His mind replayed his dream again without him willing it. What did it matter anyway? Whether he saw it when he was awake or asleep, it was always the same thing.

He clutched the extra pillow in his arms tighter as he wished for something to block out the darkness that was slowly taking hold of his mind. He could feel it eating away at his insides but couldn't stop it. He didn't know how too.

The dark haired boy fell into an uneasy sleep, his murky dreams blending in with ones filled with something warm to the touch. He didn't know what it was, but it made his entire body tingle. Even down to the blue depths he stared into.

XXXXX

Sakura fell back onto the floor, her elbows breaking the fall. She winced and sat up, rubbing her throbbing elbows. Something wet rubbed against her fingers and she looked down. Small specks of blood peeped out on her elbow, making Sakura turn to stare down at the crack in the wooden floor that she had fallen onto.

Her dad looked down at her, a sign of surprise on his face at what he had just done. Nevertheless, it was quickly wiped from his face as he made his way into his room and shut the door behind him.

Sakura looked after her dad, wondering what she had done to make him so mad. She had always known from a young age to never make him angry. No matter what. His temper was one that surpassed her own, and she had learned not to get on his bad side.

Of course, this was the first time in a long time that he had actually hit her. Well, shoved her was more like it. He had smacked her once when she was eleven so hard that she couldn't go to school for the rest of the week, fearing that someone would get suspicious of the dark knuckle imprinted bruise on her cheek. After that, he had never hit her again. Although, things were different now. He had lost his job and when he actually came home, he was either drunk or hung over.

Sakura wondered for more than the first time how she could keep going to her school. It wasn't cheap. And even though she had gotten accepted by her high grades, it still cost a good bit of money.

So where were they getting the money for this?

The pink haired girl stood up and walked into her room. She closed the door quietly behind her and locked it. Her feet traveled across the wooden floor and stopped in front of her bed. Sakura kneeled down and took a shoe box from under it and sat against the bed frame as she opened the box.

Even though the light wasn't on in her room, she knew the contents by memory. By touch. Her hands lightly brushed over a few pictures, two birthday cards, and a thick red ribbon. She pulled the ribbon out and wrapped it around her fingers, idly playing with it as jumbled memories ran through her mind.

She wished that she could remember her mother. Sakura only knew a few things about her, vaguely remembered a distorted face framed by pink locks, and the sad expression it always held. She always wondered why her mom looked like that. Even though she died when she was two years old, she had never recalled any memory of her mother with a smile on her face. Even the few home videos she had with her mother on them, she never saw her looking happy.

Sakura clutched the ribbon that her mother gave her in her hands and let out a silent sob.

XXXXX

Hinata stared outside of her window. The backyard was dark. Sinister clouds were blocking out the little moonlight that there was. After a few more minutes of star gazing, she turned around and picked up the picture on her dresser. The wooden frame held a picture of herself hanging from a tree branch at her grandparent's house, the family dog in the background, and her dad standing below her with his hands outstretched in case she fell.

She smiled sadly at the picture.

Tears started to prick at the side of her eyes, but she closed them and reprimanded herself. No, she wouldn't cry. Not again. Her tears would do nothing to change the past.

With a sigh, she put the picture down and looked away from it.

No matter how much she wanted things to go back to the way they were, she knew that they wouldn't. And it was her fault. She knew it. No matter what her mother, Sakura, family members, or old counselor told her. She knew it was her fault that her dad had died.

Because she watched him… and did nothing to stop it.

XXXXX

The morning passed by in a hurry on Wednesday. Naruto looked as if her were in a daze, slowly going through the motions of living as if he were on autopilot. In math, Sasuke had taken notice of his peculiar behavior, but had not said anything. He wasn't exactly sure what to say… or what to ask

So, he just sat back and watched. He would wait until seventh period before he would try to do anything. Hopefully by then Naruto would be back to his normal, loud self, and blame lack of sleep for his behavior in the morning.

XXXXX

Sakura scratched at her elbow, which was covered up by the ugly blue sweater she wore to cover up the bruises. When she sat down in her desk, she was almost jumped on by her friend, Ino. The blonde girl was oblivious to her discomfort and prattled on about a guy she had met.

In the seat next to her, Hinata watched the far away look on her friends face. It wasn't common for Sakura to zone out. Even during a class that she didn't like. And the girl especially didn't ignore her friends… like she was doing with Ino right now.

It was almost like she was drifting away from reality.

The purple haired girl told herself not to care too much. To not recognize the pain that stabbed at her heart at the look on her friend's face. She couldn't care for the other girl in any other way than a friend. Even her friendship could cause damage.

Because everyone she loved left her. They didn't just leave either, they died.

Sakura and her mother were the only people that she had left. Sure, she had an uncle and her cousin Neji, but she had told herself to not get too close to them. After her dad died, she closed up and drew away from others. It gave people the impression that she was shy. But in actuality, she just didn't want to care too strongly about anyone. In her own way, it was like she was protecting them.

And if she wanted to protect Sakura, then she needed to keep a safe distance between them.

XXXXX

He had not changed since this morning. He had not even tried to put up a front today, in any of his classes. No one seemed to take notice, at least, that is until he felt himself being pulled back while everyone else exited the locker room. Naruto could hear their teacher calling for everyone to come into the gym before she locked the locker room doors. He knew that they could get out from the locker room, but no one would be able to come in.

Naruto turned around, his eyes locking with a pair of black pools that reflected himself. He could see the frown on his face and dull blue eyes mirrored in them. He shivered slightly.

"What?" He asked the other boy.

Sasuke didn't say anything at first. He just held onto his wrist as he stared into Naruto's eyes. He didn't know what he would find there, but he felt compelled to look. Sasuke couldn't find anything in them, though. They were blank, empty, void of anything. They reminded him of his own. Too much like his own. No! He wouldn't let the idiot do that to himself. He had to hold onto himself. He couldn't lose. Naruto couldn't lose himself… because then who would save Sasuke?

"What's wrong with you?"

Naruto blinked at him. His body turned more towards him, his body relaxing more so on command than on him actually being comfortable. The hand around his wrist was surprisingly smooth and the other boy's hold was soft, in no way harsh or forcing. This time his body relaxed without control and he found himself tugging on the Uchiha's wrist with his free hand.

Sasuke fell into the other boy's chest gracelessly, not expecting the change in this… conversation. All he had wanted was to talk to the blonde, not ravish his mouth, like he was doing now. Well, it was more like Naruto was taking charge in the kiss, but he didn't really mind. He just didn't want to see those blue orbs as lifeless as they had just been ever again.

The blonde pushed Sasuke back until he fell onto a bench. He would have fallen backwards and over the thing entirely if Naruto hadn't stopped pushing on him. Instead, he put a leg on either side of Sasuke's and settled in his lap. His mouth latched onto his neck as his hands wandered under the hem of Sasuke's gym shirt. Muscles in his stomach twitched as a tan hand ran over his bare skin, making Sasuke moan lowly into the blonde's hair. That hand didn't waste time with teasing as it grabbed the waistband of black shorts and pulled.

Naruto slid off of Sasuke's lap and onto the floor, his other hand coming up to help pull down shorts and boxers. Sasuke's erection was freed from its confines and he almost whined in anticipation. But… something wouldn't let him completely let go and enjoy this moment.

"N-naruto?" God, he sounded pathetic.

The blonde looked up at him, a knowing look on his face. He smirked. A small bit of normality coming back into the situation at his stupid grin.

"Don't worry, no one will come in this time." He told him in a husky tone.

That wasn't what Sasuke was worried about. He was… concerned with why the blonde was acting this way. Not that he minded, but it was different. Definitely not how he would usually act. The frowns, the unusual quietness, and the barely there expression he wore hourly… that wasn't him. And now this. None of this was what he knew. None of this was the Naruto he had befriended.

"Naruto?" He said again, his voice coming out slightly colder than he meant. He just didn't want to sound as desperate as he had earlier.

Naruto ignored him as he playfully flicked his tongue across Sasuke's head. He was rewarded with a gasp that was followed by more as he swirled his tongue around his head and dipped it into the slit. Sasuke's hand tangled in his hair, but didn't push down. He wanted to push Naruto away, but couldn't find enough strength within him to do it.

Sasuke closed his eyes and he leaned his head back as slurping noises filled the air. His gasps and moans mixed with them as he felt himself coming closer. He couldn't think clearly though, as his mind thought about the sounds they were making. He didn't know if they could be considered harmonious, but he thought they were.

A throaty moan fell from Sasuke's lips as Naruto deep throated him again and again. He opened his eyes and looked down at the blonde head bobbing up and down. Sasuke's hand raked through his hair in an almost gentle manner as his chest heaved with rushed breaths. The tightening in his stomach grew unbearably hot until it finally gave way. He panicked momentarily as he forgot to warn the blonde, but lost that train of thought when he felt his cum being swallowed around his dick.

Naruto pulled back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He grinned up at Sasuke, who was pulling up his shorts, and stood up. The dark haired boy could see past the forced smirk and frowned to himself.

"Naru-"

"Why don't you go ahead out there and I'll be out in a sec." The blonde cut him off.

"What about you?" Sasuke asked, indicating the bulge in his gym shorts.

"I'll take care of it."

"Naruto, what's-"

The blonde looked down at him, his grin fallen and long forgotten.

"I said I'll handle it. Nothing's wrong, so just go out there before you're marked absent." He turned around and made his way to the showers, but a hand caught onto his own.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong with you?"

Naruto turned around, but Sasuke still held onto him. Concealed anger danced in his eyes as he looked at the other boy.

"Because there's nothing wrong! Would you stop pestering me about it? You're not my boyfriend or anything, so just drop it!" He practically yelled. He just wanted to be left alone. Why couldn't Sasuke understand that?

Sasuke stared at him, his eyes darkening involuntarily.

"You're right. I'm not your boyfriend. I'm not anything to you." He dropped his hand and walked past him, his shoulder brushing against him. Naruto bit his lip as he thought of what to say. He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. He didn't mean it like that.

"Sasuke? Wait, I didn't mean it like that." He pleaded, his eyes looking at the tense muscles in the other boy's back. Sasuke stopped with his hand on the door handle.

"Yes, you did."

With that said, he walked out of the locker room. The heavy door banged loudly against its frame as it shut, the noise echoing off the walls. Naruto just stood there, his eyes burning a hold in the ground.

XXXXX

When Naruto got home that day, he didn't see his mom. He was grateful for that. He just felt like being alone right now. He walked into his room and turned on his computer. The blonde threw his stuff down on the floor, not caring about the ass load of home work he had. The computer screen's background came on and he clicked on LimeWire.

A few minutes later and his room was blaring the band, Nightwish. He could care less if his mom or dad walked through the door and yelled at him right now. At the thought of them doing that, he actually felt anger well up in him. He was just so frustrated with everything. With school, with Neji, his parents, church, Sasuke… the list could go on, but he tried not to think about it.

He didn't want to think. He just wanted to… drift away.

And yet, it felt like he was plummeting. To where, he had no idea. But it frightened him.

The blonde lied down on his bed, putting his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. The song changed, but he couldn't really tell. Everything was drowned out by his thoughts. He felt the memory of earlier today pull at him, demanding his attention as he tried to get away from it. However, it perused him until he gave in.

He could still see it clearly. Could hear his voice shouting words of rage, and the coldness in the Uchiha's. Shit… what was he going to do about him? The boy had refused to look at him when he had gone out there, and had even gotten in a fight with Donny. The jock hadn't learned his lesson earlier about mentioning Sasuke's family. So, Sasuke helped him by breaking his jaw and loosening a few teeth.

The door opened to the apartment and was slammed shut.

Naruto jumped slightly at the noise and went to open his bedroom door, confusion written on his face. He wondered what was going on, knowing that his parent's didn't make a habit out of slamming things. What he saw though made a shiver run down his spine.

His mom was crying hysterically on the couch, while his dad held her to him, a solemn look on his face. When he saw Naruto, he snapped at him.

"Turn that crap off!" He yelled.

Naruto fought against his shock at the situation and closed his door before turning the music off. No noise came out of his room for the rest of the night until his dad came in hours later to tell him that his grandfather had died. They were leaving that Friday to attend his funeral on Sunday.

Then he left, leaving the blonde alone to his own thoughts.

They didn't attend church that night.

XXXXX

**A/N: I know it's a kind of late and all crappy and angsty, but it just kind of happened. Writer's block is a bitch. One that I tried to hang numerous times, but it was saved every time by school, my… hazardous room, lessons, and all the other shit going on right now. So, it may take a while for me to get these chapters out from now on. Cause I'm having some trouble in a few of my classes, and I'm completely serious when I saw I can't fuck up this year. If I fail any of my classes, then I can't get my learner's permit or graduate with my class next year. Unless I take something over the summer… blah. It's sad, I'm 17 and I don't even have a learner's permit. Looooong ass story that I may rant about some other time. For now though, review if you want more. **

**Oh, and thank you to the few people that actually review this story. I really appreciate it. But looking at the hits and reviews that i receive, it just pisses me off. if i don't get at LEAST five reviews for this chapter, then i'll just stop posting more chapters. sry to the ppl that actually do, but i'm just about to say screw this whole site and take my stuff off. cause this isn't the only story its happening with. okay, before i go into a major rant about lazy bastards and why the skies blue, i'll just sign off. **

**-Robin **


	5. Without a Friend in the World

"**Where is God?"**

By: Robin Maxwell 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

**A/N: Everbody thank Mirandler43 from aff for editing this chapter and giving me some really good ideas and tips! After reading this chapter, review, and go check out her stories!**

**Warning: uh… not much in here but a little bit of angst, I think…**

"_I don't like religion much, and I am glad that in the Bible the word is not to be found." -Martin Buber _

**Chapter five**

**Without a Friend in the World**

****

Being so close to death was said to make you feel more alive. However, alive was not the feeling that Naruto got as he stared inside the open casket. Truth be told, he felt colder than the lifeless, pale body in front of him. He stepped closer to his grandfather, so close in fact, that he could smell the cosmetics that the morticians had put on him. The man hadn't died a gruesome death, but all color had been drained out of his skin when the blood was removed from his body. The simple water based make-up they used on his skin was to make him look somewhat lively; like how his family would remember him.

Even with all the creams and powders they used on his dehydrated skin, Naruto thought he still looked dead. Like he should. So why did they even try to make him look like he was sleeping? Would that really make everyone here feel better? Would his mother stop crying if she thought her dad was just asleep inside a dark gray casket, playing a trick on everyone?

Naruto shook his head, trying to dislodge the thoughts in his mind. He stepped back and went to go sit in one of the pews by his parents. He knew that the people at the mortuary were just trying to help. It was their job. And some said it was the most rewarding job in life; to help others in their time of need.

Which they did. What kind of person wanted to clean and dress the dead body of someone they knew? How would it make them feel if they saw their dead loved one move their hand while on the table? They would think that the person had come back to life, when in reality it was nothing more than the change of pH in the body.

Piano music filled the small church as all murmurs died down. An old man walked to the stage and stood in front of the podium. His heavy frame was barely covered by the wooden stand as he moved from one foot to another jerkily. Wire framed glasses sat on his nose as his watery, yellowing eyes looked down at the crinkling bible in front of him. The music stopped and the man spoke.

"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. John 14:1." The man said, his white and gray beard moving up and down distractedly as he spoke.

Naruto stared at him with eyes wide open as if he didn't want to miss anything, but only saw half of what was there.

"As you all know, I was a close friend of Jims'. His best, as he was mine. And to this day I will never forget what a friendly guy he was. He always did nice things for people, even ones he didn't know. Why, I remember one time, a few years ago, when we were at the market buying…"

Naruto drowned his voice out and opted to watch his lips move. If he looked closely, then he could see a few hairs sticking out of his nose. A few people laughed quietly around him as something funny was apparently said. The mood of the room always stayed somber though, no matter how many times the man said that Jim would want them to be happy. That he wouldn't want them to cry over him, and even though Naruto could hear these words, but he couldn't fully comprehend them.

People grew old. They lived and died. That's the way life was. Sickness and tragedies were apart of it as well. But also, happiness, anger, jealousy, lust, sadness, and many other emotions were apart of life. You were supposed to be sad when someone close to you died. It was just how life worked. It was how the human body and brain functioned. They were the things that told you this hurt, that this caused tears, and that this pain would never go away. Even with time.

Naruto looked over at his mom. Tears were streaming down her face and clumping her eyelashes together. He saw her wipe her nose with a balled up tissue every few seconds as another person went up to the stage to say a few words. Naruto wondered how much longer his mom was going to cry. Would she cry tonight when she went to bed, and every night thereafter, when she thought that no one else was awake and could see her?

Even if she didn't cry, he knew that she would still think about her dad and feel the way she did now. Because that ache wouldn't go away. It wouldn't just fade away like a memory that had missing pieces. And no amount of time, unlike some people try so hard to believe, will ever make you forget that pain.

Naruto wondered if Sasuke felt as miserable as his mother did right now. If he always felt that way and was just hiding it. Maybe the boy was like his grandfather, always one emotion on the outside, but another on the inside. He didn't want other people to be upset because he was sad or unhappy. No, he wanted them to happy, even if he wasn't. That's just the kind of person his grandfather was.

Except, Sasuke was different. Maybe he wanted someone else to feel as lonely as he did. The blonde knew that he hid his feelings behind a mask of ice or indifference. And he also knew that he felt lost and alone, because of what happened with his family. If that was what really happened. He still hadn't asked the raven-haired teen if it was true, and now, he didn't know if he would ever get a chance too.

For the last two days of school, he hadn't gotten to see the Uchiha because he had been suspended for fighting. His argument with the boy hassled him to the point where he wasn't paying attention in class and even forgetting about his lunch break with Neji and Shikamaru.

Moreover, it was distracting him from his grandfather's funeral. Not that he had ever been close with the man, but he knew that this wasn't the time or place to think about that. So, he tried to tune back into the female speaker at the podium now.

Somehow, though, his one-track mind found its way back to worrying about his quiet friend.

XXXXX

Sasuke was cold. The heat was turned on and he wore long sleeves and pants, but he was still cold. He could feel a chill caress his legs and run up his spine. He cringed as he brushed a hand through his dirty hair. He needed a shower.

He turned on the water and pulled the curtain back as steam rose to the ceiling. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and jumped in. The goose bumps on his skin still stood out as he turned the water up.

The water was scorching, making his skin turn red, but he still turned the water up higher. Steam surrounded him and fogged up the mirror by the sink, but he didn't see that. His eyes were closed as he searched for some form of warmth. He could feel his skin ache and burn, but he still felt frozen to the core.

He stayed like that until the water turned cold. Only then did he move, almost mechanically, as he shampooed his hair and washed his raw flesh. It didn't matter if he bathed in cold water, seeing as it felt like a second skin to him.

He was always cold now… because he didn't have something warm and blonde to touch.

XXXXX

Dirt was thrown on top of the closed casket by his mother and one of her brothers. His grandmother would have done it, but she had passed away over a year ago. Now it was her children's job to bury their father.

A head full of spiky white hair caught Naruto's attention as his uncle wandered through the gravestones to the dark green tent that the family was under. A small smile touched the corner of Naruto's lips. That was his uncle all right, late as always. But better late then never someone once said, or something like that.

The group of family members moved from under the tent and into cars. Some were headed towards his grandparent's old house, which now belonged to one of his mother's older brothers, and others were going back home. Naruto stayed where he was as his uncle came towards him.

"Naruto? Is that you?" The man said as he ruffled his hair playfully. Jiriaya was loud. Too loud for a funeral, but his nephew liked him just the same.

"Yeah," he answered, while one of his hands went to scratch the back of his head.

"Damn kid, you grew. I haven't seen you in years and now you're as big as your pops. Speaking of which, where's your dad and my little sister?" He asked as his eyes searched over the remaining clusters of people around the tent.

"I dunno, but I know that we're going back to the house," he told him.

"Oh," the older man said almost dejectedly. He sighed as he looked down at the blonde.

"You know, you can come and visit me anytime you like. It's not like I got some nagging woman around to tell me what to do, so if you come over, it'll just be us two. I'm pretty sure we've got tons to catch up on, seeing as you're a teenage boy battling with your hormones. And you've probably got plenty of stories to tell me while knocking a few back with me." He winked at him as he patted him on the head a few times.

Naruto just laughed at him. Honestly, the man had no shame. Which was why the blonde probably liked him, even though he couldn't remember much about him. However, his parents always seemed to mention him. About what a lazy, perverted, non-Christian like man he was. All those things were fine by

Naruto's standards.

"Are you coming to the house?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer. He was actually surprised that he had shown up at all. It's not like the man down in the ground was his father after all, and he had only spent a year in the house after his step-father moved in. After that, he had moved out and gone to stay with his real dad.

"Nah, I need to get back home. I've got a ton of work to do, and my editor is already on my ass about my manuscript being a week late. So, I can't really push it aside anymore. I just came to see… how everyone was doing."

With a small pained expression that he quickly hid, Jiraya smiled down at the blonde.

"Take good care of your mom for me, kiddo."

"I will." Naruto told him as the taller man waved and walked off, one of his hands casually placed inside his pant pocket. The blonde watched his uncle leave before turning back around to find his parents. When he spotted them, he just stood there and watched for a few minutes. His mom had stopped crying, and was now holding onto his dad's arm lightly. She looked like she wanted to cling on, but she was trying to look strong, and for a minute, he thought she almost did.

XXXXX

Naruto and his parents had stayed at his grandparent's house for a few hours before going back to the hotel room. The blonde boy had left them alone for awhile and gone down to the pool. It was nice having one indoors for during the fall and winter. Even though the blonde loved to swim, he just didn't feel like doing it now. So, after jumping in and swimming for a few minutes, he got back out and just sat in one of the chairs.

The blonde stared at the placid surface of chlorine-filled water. His thoughts passed through his mind like a running stream, never slowing down or stopping, only crashing into blocks of uncertainty or with each other. Naruto still didn't know what to do about his friend, and now he was starting to second guess his feelings towards Neji.

It wasn't that he didn't care about the Neji. He just didn't know what kind of love or like it was. Maybe… maybe he wanted to be with someone, because he felt lost. Naruto would never admit it to anyone, but he always thought about being alone. He didn't have any close friends that he could share his

every thought with, and he definitely couldn't talk to his parents about anything that really mattered. They would only dismiss it. Tell him that he had everything and that there was nothing wrong in his life to make him unhappy.

Naruto knew that he had a pretty good life, but it wasn't enough. Maybe he was selfish for thinking that way, but he couldn't help it. He wanted more in life. He didn't want to go through the movements of the day and not have his heart in it. Which he did anyway. The only time he felt his heart race or his blood pump was when he… when he…

The blonde stood up abruptly, his hands wrapping the towel around his damp swimming trunks. He took the stairs up to the second floor, trying to think about anything other than what he had just concluded. He didn't need to think like that. It wasn't true.

His parents were right. Always right. He was happy. Nothing was wrong in his life. His heart didn't ache every time he looked at his moody friend, which just happened to be another guy. He wasn't filled with dread or guilt when he entered the sanctuary of their church. And he certainly didn't feel… alone. Because he had friends and parents that loved him, which meant that he couldn't be alone. It wasn't possible for someone surrounded by people to feel alone… even if the people in the crowd passed him by in a blur. It didn't mean that he was alone.

Naruto quietly slipped into their room and changed for the night in the bathroom. The lights were off and his parents were asleep in the bed next to his. When he lied down, he couldn't fall asleep. So, he just watched the green numbers on the clock beside him roll by.

The blonde was tired, but couldn't fall asleep because of the silent sobbing in the bed next to him.

He wondered then, if maybe his parents were wrong about feeling alone.

XXXXX

Monday passed by in a blur for the blonde. Nervousness was eating away at his insides every time he thought about talking to his black haired friend. He was going to try and say something to him in math class, but Iruka had to spend most of the period with Sasuke. Since the boy had gotten in a fight on

Wednesday, and was suspended for the last two days of school last week, he had a lot of make-up work. Naruto was actually surprised that the boy was back already. Usually you were suspended for a week if you got into a fight or even attempted to start one.

Maybe it was because he was new to the school or someone had spoken on his behalf. Either way, he didn't care. He was just glad that the grumpy teenager was back. He didn't think he could deal with another night of restlessness if he didn't apologize to the raven-haired boy today.

With second period a no go for saying apologies, the blonde sat through his classes the rest of the day with an uneasiness gnawing at his stomach. So, when sixth period ended, he almost jumped out of his chair. Of course, his teacher asked him to stay behind. He needed to talk to him about a paper he didn't turn in.

Shit.

XXXXX

The blonde arrived to class ten minutes later with a note in his hand. His teacher unlocked the locker room and he rushed inside to change. As fast as the day had gone by, he felt like time stood still as he walked out of the locker room dressed in his black shorts and white shirt. For some reason, he felt oddly exposed as he walked across the gym floor.

But maybe that had to do with the fact that they were playing dodge ball, and as soon as he walked out, he became the number one target.

Every worry he had thought about today vanished as he picked up a ball and threw it at a random person. It didn't matter if he got hit or not, no one seemed to pay attention to the rules as they flung the squishy balls at one another. Apparently the teachers had nothing better for them to do, seeing as both classes were put together today. The blonde even laughed a few times as a couple of friends ganged up on him and pounded him into the floor with orange and green balls.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and they did. With twenty minutes left of class. Naruto guessed that the teachers were getting annoyed with some of the girly screams that echoed off the walls. Or it could have something to do with some freshman receiving a nosebleed.

Either way, the group of boys crowded into the locker room. Some went to go take showers, while other's just talked and acted like a bunch of kids. Naruto was going to hang out with Neji and Gaara, but changed his mind when he saw a familiar head of black hair move towards the showers. He stripped out of his shirt and shorts, grabbed a towel, and followed after him.

He wrapped the towel around his waist as he saw the boy go into one of the stalls and pull the curtain closed behind him. The blonde took a deep breath, knowing that he could get his ass kicked for the stunt he was about to pull. But, hey, he had to at least try, right?

He heard the water turn on and pulled the curtain back enough to walk in. Sasuke had as of yet to take his towel off, which brought a slight twinge of disappointment to the blonde. Naruto's eyes traveled up his body and came to a stop on his face. Their eyes locked.

"What do you want?" The teenager almost growled out as he tried to cover up his surprise with anger.

Naruto didn't miss the emotion he was trying to hide. The fact that the boy in front of him was shocked by his behavior just showed him how much he had actually believed the blonde's harsh words. Naruto frowned internally at that.

Without hesitation, Naruto pushed him up against the wall. He didn't care if anyone heard them or that the water was growing cold beside them. All he cared about was making sure that Sasuke knew his worth to the blonde.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into Sasuke's ear, his arms pinning the other boy lightly against the tile wall. "I shouldn't have said those things. I...was just mad...at a lot of things. But not at you. You didn't do anything wrong. And you didn't deserve to be yelled at."

Sasuke wanted to push him away. Wanted to yell at him. He wanted to… touch him. Fuck. Why did his mind always have to toy with him? There must be something wrong with him if he couldn't decide on whether on not he wanted to kiss the dobe or punch his face in. Yep, he was twisted.

"Sasuke?" The blonde asked, his voice lacking the confidence it had moments before. Naruto was not expecting the eerie silence that rolled off the boy in waves.

"Whatever," he grumbled out.

Before he could turn his eyes away, he saw a small smile grace the blonde's lips. Those same lips pressed against his own seconds later. Sasuke was taken aback by the tenderness of the kiss, thinking that something was wrong with it. Soft, gentle touches were exchanged between lovers, not between two horny teenage boys looking for a quick release. When the usual bout of lust didn't come, he found himself growing uneasier. What they were doing implied something that they both said they didn't want from each other. So, why were they doing it then?

His thoughts drifted off as a shy tongue traced his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He gave it without a second thought, and brought a hand up to cup the side of Naruto's face. The kiss was slow and gentle, completely different from anything they had ever done, but it wasn't a bad thing.

The chatter and laughter of their classmates around them mixed in with the sound of running water. Everything seemed to blend in together as they forgot about the world outside of the shower stall. A hand ran down Sasuke's side and his muscles tensed slightly. He bit down on his lip to keep any

sounds from escaping. He didn't need the blonde to know that he was ticklish there.

Steam stopped rising from the cascading water as the bell rang. Heavy footsteps and random voices brought them back to reality along with the shriek of the bell. Naruto stepped back reluctantly, his hands still on the other boy's sides. They just stared at each other for a few minutes before Sasuke hesitantly pushed him back a little.

"I guess we should go," he told him.

Naruto just nodded his head and followed him out. They dressed in silence and walked out of the locker room. A few kids were still running around in the halls as the two boys made their way out of the building and into the park. They still didn't say anything to one another as they came up to the road, where they would split up into different directions.

The two of them stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before the blonde reached for Sasuke's shirt. He pulled him forward and kissed him without a second thought. The raven-haired boy stiffened slightly, but then relaxed and put his arms around the boy's waist. A few cars passed them by, but they didn't take heed of them. Not even when one of them almost slammed on their breaks beside them.

When they finally pulled back, Naruto wore a small smile on his face. For some reason, he didn't want to leave the other boy's presence. He wanted to be with him for a little while longer, but he didn't know how they could do that. Where could they go? And would the Uchiha even want to spend more time with him? He glanced up into obsidian eyes and found his answer.

"Um… want to hang out?" He asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't answer him right away. He didn't know if he could spend any more time with him because of all the homework and makeup work he had. Then again… he could just say screw it all and have some fun.

"Sure." He answered.

XXXXX 

_This is stupid_, the Uchiha kept telling himself as he watched the TV screen. He didn't know why he felt this way, but he knew that it was a feeling he shouldn't have. And why shouldn't he have it? Because it was stupid.

Or to be more exact, because it was… girly. Moreover, Sasuke Uchiha was not a girl. So, why did he feel all warm and fuzzy- okay so not going there. He was just going to say that he did not like having girly, mushy feelings. They were a waste of time.

The dozing blonde in his arms snuggled closer to his chest, making him forget about his irritation with himself. Oh screw it, he didn't care anymore. It's not like anyone was going to find out about this. About how he liked to… cuddle. Besides, it kept him warm.

The darkness of the room kept the blush on his face hidden as he tried to distract himself with the TV. Of course, the movie landing right on the sex scene didn't help him any. Stupid movie. Stupid Naruto for picking it out and then falling asleep on him. Although, he did make a comfortable prop up for Sasuke's arm.

Cheesy music came out of the speakers as the girl on the screen moaned and begged for more. The black youth on the bed wanted to laugh as it sounded like an amateur porn video. Not that he knew anything about those, 'cause he had never watched one…

The chuckle died in his throat though as he felt something wet brush against his neck. He felt the boy in his arms shift around for a few minutes before they got into a more comfortable position. A tongue traced small circles on his neck before moving up and nipping playfully at his ear lobe. Sasuke's hands traveled down a clothed body to equally clothed hips, where he squeezed lightly.

Naruto pulled back a little so that he could bring his face up to kiss the other boy. It was just as slow and light as it had been earlier, but escalated when the blonde ground his hips into Sasuke's.

"Good morning," a voice whispered in his ear huskily.

Sasuke snorted slightly before saying anything.

"It's in the evening, idiot."

The blonde just snickered before bending back down to graze a collarbone with his teeth. Sasuke wrapped his arms around his waist and slowly pushed up the material of his shirt. His hands ran across his stomach and lower back before something dawned on him.

"Wait, did you call your parents?"

Naruto sighed in irritation as he pulled away and looked down into the other boy's face.

"No."

"Shouldn't you call them? I don't want you to get into trouble because-"

"Don't worry about it." He cut him off.

Sasuke glared at him. He didn't want the boy to get in trouble because of him, again. But before he could say another word, Naruto beat him to it.

"Besides, things need to change…" He whispered more to himself than to Sasuke.

The raven-haired boy looked at him questioningly, but didn't say anything else as he watched the tan boy rid himself of his shirt. Naruto bent down to kiss him again while his hands ran under the other boy's shirt. Sasuke guessed it was his way of telling him to take it off.

Naruto sat back up as he helped the other boy get out of his shirt. He ran his hands over smooth, pale skin as Sasuke watched him from under his bangs. Sasuke chanced a glance at the clock beside his bed and read that it was almost ten in the evening. Shit…

"Naruto? Are you sure you don't need to call?"

The blonde sighed heavily.

"I'll call them later, okay? Don't worry."

Sasuke had no other choice but to believe him. So, he forgot about it and let himself fall victim to those hands.

XXXXX

She dropped the keys on the floor as she slumped into one of the kitchen chairs. Her eyes were wide and would have been comically looking if they weren't full of horror. Naruto's mother leaned forward onto the table and placed her head in her hands. Her body shook slightly as she cried silently to herself.

The image she saw a few hours ago was still fresh in her mind. She tried to block it out, but it kept on coming back with more force. A hiccupping noise escaped her lips as she tried to stay quiet. It wasn't working though.

About an hour later, her husband came home and found her at the table still.

"Nadine?" He asked hesitantly.

She looked up at him and felt a few tears slide down her face. Her eyes stung irritably and it felt like someone was pounding on the inside of her head with a closed fist. She looked up at her husband with puffy red eyes and froze. What was she going to tell her husband?

"Nadine? What's wrong?"

He pulled a chair up beside her and sat down. His arms wrapped around her protectively and held her close to his chest.

"I… I miss him," she whispered hoarsely, knowing that he would think that she was crying over her father. She didn't know what else to say. It wasn't every day that you saw your son kissing another guy.

And she didn't think that her husband would be able to handle it… just like she couldn't.

XXXXX

Okay… I am so sorry that this is crappy and everything, but I've had really bad writer's block and school's being a bitch. Plus, I've got a few issues that I need to work out and so far I haven't been able to find any solutions. Anyway, I want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed. It made me happy. Really happy.

And someone reviewed my story on a different site and started to talk about themselves, but stopped because they didn't think I would care. But I would love to hear anything you guys have to say. Whether you want to say that you just got a new piercing or discuss your own problems at school or whatever, feel free. And if anyone ever needs to talk to someone about anything, then e-mail me and I'll gladly listen and help out as much as I can. I actually enjoy helping people with their problems… probably cause I'm used to playing the therapist.

So, just drop by to say anything and review!

Love you guys,

Rob


	6. Save Your Tears

"**Where is God?"**

By: Robin Maxwell 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

**A/N: Any religions that I mention in here, if I get them wrong, feel free to correct me. Other than that, I'll try my best to get everything right. **

**Pairings: main Sasuke and Naruto **

**Others**

"_I don't know about God… The only things I know are what I see, hear, feel and smell." -Günther Grass _

**Chapter six**

**Save Your Tears Pt. I**

Naruto didn't even bother trying to sneak into his apartment the next day. Not only had he spent the entire night over at Sasuke's, but he had also forgotten to call his parents. When he woke up that morning next to another half naked boy, he had literally jumped out of the bed and gotten dressed. Sasuke only stirred when the other boy told him he was leaving, and then fell back asleep.

And now, here he was. Stepping through his apartment door at seven in the morning, soaking wet. He could still hear the unexpected rainstorm raging behind him as he closed the door. His shoes squeaked nosily across the floor as he paced to his bedroom. He walked slowly, expecting something to happen any minute. What he was waiting for, he didn't know. Maybe yelling or crying. Or both. But there was nothing. He was met with only silence.

When he opened the door to his room, he stilled in the entrance way.

Clothes were strung across his floor, drawers were pulled out of the dresser and laying haphazardly upside down on the floor with their contents littering the ground. His bed sheets were thrown off in a careless manner along with his mattress. CD cases were scattered here and there along with notebooks and things from his trashcan. While Naruto looked through his things, he realized who did this to his room. He felt a surge of rage pulse within him.

Fists clenched at his sides as his book bag fell to the ground. The sound of a door opening behind him was barely heard as the pounding of his heart echoed in his ears.

"Naruto? Where were you? We were worri-" The woman was cut off by her husband's yelling.

"Where the have you been?"

Naruto closed his eyes, willing his anger to go away. The blonde didn't say anything as he still faced his room. He wanted to have a conversation with his parents, not a screaming match. And if he didn't want that to happen, then he needed to calm down now.

A hand closed around his upper arm and turned him around. Two pairs of blue eyes locked onto one another. Naruto didn't look away when he saw the anger and disappointment in his father's eyes. He didn't really care how his dad felt at the moment because he felt the same way. Except for his feelings were old and coming undone. They had been buried for so long that he was surprised at how easy it was to unearth them now.

"Answer me! Where were you?"

Naruto tried to control himself by looking away from his interrogator. His eyes fell on his mom, who was sobbing on the couch. He sighed internally at that. It seemed that nowadays all she did was cry. He wondered then if she was just as unhappy as he was.

The hand on his arm jerked him forward a little so that he turned his attention back to his dad. The man's face was turning a light shade of scarlet as he waited for his son to answer.

"At a friends," he said quietly.

"At a friends? Why didn't you call us? Better yet, who gave you permission to go in the first place?"

Before he could get a word in, his father opened his mouth again.

"You know the rules. You come home after school, do your homework, and ask us if you want to go somewhere over the weekend. You shouldn't even be out on a school night, let alone spending the night at someone's house!"

"I know!" Naruto yelled at him, his control beginning to slip.

Kazuma blinked at his son in surprise. Naruto had never shouted at him before.

"Don't raise your voice at me!" He warned, his voice losing some of the assurance it had before.

Naruto wrenched his arm out of the other man's grasp and stared at him defiantly. A few minutes passed in silence as they just watched each other.

"You're grounded." His father told him firmly.

"No," came Naruto's reply. His tone was flat and low. His control was gone.

"No? It's not your choice wheth-"

"What happened to my room?" The teen asked suddenly, cutting the other man off.

"What?" Kazuma was caught off guard by the question.

"What happened to my room," he asked slowly.

"I went through it! I had to make sure that you hadn't taken some of your things and run away or were doing some kind of drug-"

"What the hell makes you think I was taking drugs, dad?" Naruto almost screamed. His hands were back into fists at his sides. He ground his teeth together as he watched his dad's eyes widen slightly.

"Watch your language…"

Naruto's lips turned up in a humorless grin.

"Sorry. What the hell makes you think I was taking drugs, _father_?"

Both men went quiet as Nadine still wept on the couch. Rain pounding on the side building could be heard in the nearly silent room. Lightning crashed and the lights blinked off for a moment. When they came back on, Naruto's father started yelling again.

The blonde just stood there and watched him. His words were slurred with anger and barely made sense. Kazuma repeated himself unknowingly as he continued to scream, flecks of spit hitting his chin as he forgot to take a break and breathe.

"Why are you acting like this… like someone else? Who's made you change into this kind of person?"

Naruto stared at his father, but didn't answer him. What was he saying? No one made him act this way! This was who he was. His dad had just never taken the time to look.

At his son's silence, Kazuma gathered up his frustrations and delivered them to Naruto in what he deemed a severe lecture.

The only words that Naruto caught were, "disappointment", "reckless", and finally, "worthless".

While his parents were still in their own world, Naruto tore through the living room and out the front door. He didn't stop running, even when his mother's worried voice called out to him.

XXXXX

He could feel water seeping into his shoes as he ran down the sidewalk and into the street. A car slammed on their brakes as he darted in front of them. Naruto didn't stop or slow down though. If anything, he ran harder as the rain grew heavier.

When he slipped on the sidewalk going down the hill, he fell and landed on his back. Naruto just lied there for a few minutes with his eyes closed, and chest rising heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

His father's words echoed loudly in his ears, threatening to drown out the hammering rain and thunder. Navy blue eyes blinked open to stare at the gray clouds. Blinking rapidly to try and keep the rain out, he tried to block out the voice of his dad. Instead, he heard the dull thrumming of his preacher's tone.

He didn't know why the disliked man suddenly entered his thoughts, but then something dawned on him. The man and his father were very much alike. Both in their manner and speech. Naruto had never realized just how much his dad was like their preacher… or how much his father tried to be like him. He had noticed the similarities in the two men before, but had chalked it up to them both being men of god and striving to be like Christ. This, however, was different.

His father was not his own person. He was like a cheap imitation… like some kind of teenager trying to fit into a certain clique.

And he was accusing Naruto of doing the same thing!

Why? Just… what the hell was wrong with these people? The only thing that Naruto could think about, even though a part of him felt a stab of guilt for it, was the fact that they both had one thing in common.

God.

Whether or not they really believed in him or just wanted something strong to latch onto so that they could ride that wave of power, he didn't know, nor did he care.

All he knew and felt at that moment was that everything wrong or fucked up in his life all revolved around that one single subject.

"God…" he whispered to himself. His voice sounded weak and desperate to his ears. As if he was hoping for someone, or a particular omnipotent someone, to correct his musings. But he heard nothing.

In one swift movement, Naruto was up and walking into the street. Whether or not he was unaware or uncaring of the cars going around him, he didn't move out of the way. He only raised his head to the clouds.

"Where are you?" He shouted.

Cars honking and the tapping of rain drops were all he got in response.

"Come on! Show me that you're real! Just give me some kind of sign. Anything. Just one fucking sign!"

The thoroughly drenched teen was breathing harshly now as he continued to scream and ignore oncoming traffic.

"You have to be real… if they hate me because of you then you have to be real, don't you?" He barely whispered the last few words. His head fell down to his chest as he closed his eyes.

"Why'd I get them as parents if they'll hate me for who I am? Why? Please… tell me why."

Naruto sunk to his knees, his uniform pants absorbing the water around him.

"Why do you let things happen… things that hurt people? Like pain and… death… like letting Sasuke's parent's die?" He mumbled almost incoherently now.

A streak of lightning crashed into a great tree on the sidewalk and Naruto lifted his head at the loud cracking and splintering sounds it made. A large branch fell almost in slow motion into the street right in front of the disbelieving blonde.

Two beams of light fell on Naruto's face as a car swerved around the branch. The driver stomped on their brakes as they saw Naruto for the first time.

Naruto blinked at the blinding light before him. His heart was beating so fast that he didn't hear the car door open.

"Hey! Are you all right?" A voice asked as a person stepped out of the car and crouched down beside the dazed teen.

"Naruto?"

Said boy turned his head towards the voice. Recognition hit him instantly.

"H-haku?"

XXXXX

Sasuke wasn't all that bothered by his friend's disappearance when he woke up a second time that morning. He knew that the boy had to get home to his parents. They were probably worried sick about him.

As he pulled on his uniform shirt, he felt an ache in his chest. He closed his eyes briefly as he tried to reign control over his emotions. He didn't begrudge Naruto for still having parents, but damn, he really missed his own. No matter how dysfunctional his family had been, he still missed them. Even… Itachi. Although, he wouldn't admit that aloud.

He was lucky though that he had someone in the family that wanted him. That he actually had family that lived in the states. He didn't know what he would have done if he'd had to move to Japan to live with a bunch of relatives he hadn't seen since he was seven years old.

Sasuke liked his aunt Clara, but sometimes he wished she were more… available. It's not like he was actually going to talk to her if he needed someone, but it was still nice to know that someone was there if he actually felt like talking. The woman was hardly ever around, which was somewhat understandable. She was his father's youngest sister and still in her early twenties. And she definitely wasn't the motherly type.

But sometimes… that's what Sasuke wanted. He doubted that his aunt would figure that out any time soon though. Maybe after she got married and had a few kids of her own, she'd understand. But by then, she'd be too late.

He planned on being over with all of this soon. No… he knew he had to be over their deaths and past the pain… because he couldn't handle the nightmares anymore.

XXXXX


	7. The Watchers

"**Where is God?"**

By: robin maxwell 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. **

warning: NOT BETA'D! ALSO, READ AUTHOR'S NOTE. IT'S IMPORTANT!

**A/N: Sorry to have to write this up here, but petpeeve can't get a proper username or working e-mail addressee, so I need to post my rant up here. Anyway, you really pissed me off. I'm not even upset at the fact that you don't like my story, that's fine, cause I can't please everyone. However, if you can't understand the concept of a story and then say that my work is crap BECAUSE of that, then that's your problem for not being able to grasp or read what is spelled out right in front of your eyes. **

**And I'm just gonna stop right there 'cause I have more important things to say. I'm really sorry this chapter is so late. I didn't mean for it to be. I just had no desire to write a depressing chapter… again. But it just kind of happened. And I really don't know how people are going to react to Hanabi in this chapter… the scene between Hinata and her little sister just kind of wrote itself one night when I couldn't sleep… and yeah, you'll see. **

**Okay, now I'm done with my rambling. Thank you to everyone else that reviewed and made me happy! You guys really put a smile on my face and made me what to keep writing this. I have some problems at the moment, that I've actually had for awhile now, and I'm trying to deal with them. Nothing I do seems to be helping though, and I've thought about discontinuing or passing this story along to someone else a lot lately. And I really don't want to do that. So sorry if the updates are a bit spaced out. But I won't just stop writing this. If I feel the need to pass it to someone else, then I will warn you and find someone else to write it. **

"_Religion is a collective insanity." – Mikhail a. Bakunin_

Chapter seven

The Watchers

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?"

Naruto nodded his head as he thanked the brunette again.

"Anytime. I better see you at school tomorrow, Uzumaki." Haku warned gently.

"Sure," he answered as he shut the car door and watched Haku pull away. He felt kind of bad for making the young man late to work, but he really didn't feel like going to school today. Especially not in a soaking wet, slightly stained with something that he hoped was mayonnaise, even though he didn't remember having any lately, and overall dirty uniform with no book bag or supplies.

He turned around and started to walk down the street, going past random bars and antique shops. Most places were closed this early in the morning, but this was the only place Naruto could think of to go at the moment. When he got to the bookstore, he noticed with a small smile that it was actually open. He pushed the door open and was greeted by the chiming of a bell overhead.

A man with thick white hair stood behind the cash register, trying to place some dirty magazines on a top shelf.

"Need some help, old man," Naruto asked as he stopped in front of the register and rested his chin on his palms.

Jiriaya turned around, completely forgetting about the pornographic material above him, and looked towards the teen. The magazines slid from the ledge and fell on his head.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered to himself as his nephew laughed lightly. He looked over at the blonde and took in the wet clothes, worn out expression, and dull blue eyes.

"You look like shit, kid."

"Thanks," Naruto muttered, his gaze floating around the room in a nervous manner. Jiriaya watched him for a few moments before going over to the door and placing the open sign to closed. He didn't even bother to lock the door as he went towards the staircase in the back that led to his apartment on the second floor.

"Come on. Let's get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold."

XXXXX

The seat was empty. It had been empty since the beginning of second period, and now it was almost time for the bell to ring. Where was that idiot? It wasn't like him to skip class.

Sasuke took his eyes off the chair next to him as class ended. He gathered his things and took one last look at the desk before leaving the room. In his next class, he spent most of his time staring at the rain outside the window. He wanted to brush his fingers along the glass and feel the cold seep into his skin, but made no move to do so.

The droning voice of his teacher and the nasty weather outside put his mind into a foggy state. He couldn't concentrate on the material in front of him and he didn't really try to either. He just kept on replaying yesterday's events in his mind. He was still confused about the way they had kissed and touched earlier. He had honestly never been gentle with anyone. Probably because no one had bothered being gentle with him.

But it didn't really concern him as much as it used to. Now, he just wondered what they were to each other. Were they just friends? Or were they becoming more?

He knew he liked spending time with Naruto, whether they were talking or… engaging in other activities. He liked the fact that the boy could make him smile and laugh, even when he was having a shitty day.

A smile touched Sasuke's lips as he thought about the conversation they had the night before.

Before going to bed, Naruto started telling him about the girl who lived down the hall from him. At first, Sasuke felt a little jealous. Though he didn't know why, until the teen told him that she was the sisterly type. Then the blonde had started telling him how she had offered to help him dress in drag.

Sasuke had literally gone bug eyed and asked him if he was serious. Naruto had laughed and snuggled deeper into his naked chest before answering. And after Naruto had told him that it was true, he had started choking on his own spit like an idiot.

He still couldn't picture the boy in a dress and make-up. Although, he wouldn't mind seeing that. He would just make sure to take a lot of pictures and keep them for blackmail later on.

The smile on Sasuke's face faded into a scowl as he thought about the last thing his friend had said before falling asleep in his arms. Sasuke did not agree with him on it at all. And he never would.

Sasuke did not think that he would make a pretty girl, no matter what the dobe said. And his features weren't… girly, either.

XXXXX

The door to her room opened. There was no knock or warning that someone was even going to enter. A small girl of about twelve stood in the doorway, her unusually pale eyes staring at Hinata in an unnerving manner.

"Did you want something, Hanabi?"

Hinata's little sister narrowed her eyes at her as the hand on the door knob tightened.

"Mom says that you have to give me a ride to school. She can't take me." Those two sentences had been more than the girl had said to Hinata in weeks. Usually the younger girl locked herself in her room all day and didn't come out until dinner time. Of course, they had stopped eating at the table since their mom took on another job and didn't come home until late. But that just meant that Hinata had more to do around the house now. Feeding her and her sister was only one of them.

Hinata stared at her little sister. She knew the girl hated her. And she didn't blame her either. Hanabi was the only other person who blamed her for their father's death.

"All right," she whispered in a dull voice. Her attitude at home was different from the one at school, like it was for most teenagers. Whereas she acted timid around others at school, she was seen as quiet and withdrawn at home. Hanabi was somewhat the same, but her temper usually flared up more often nowadays and she was always yelling at their mother.

The older of the two siblings finished getting ready before heading out. The two girls walked in silence to the car and drove in the same uncomfortable atmosphere. When Hinata slowed down behind a few other cars in front of her sister's middle school, she looked away from the road. Her eyes immediately fell onto her sibling.

Hanabi was small for her age. She was thin and flat chested, and would have looked like a boy had she not grown her hair out. Her skin was paler than Hinata's and held an almost unhealthy blue tint to it. Dark smudges were always present under her eyes, though the girl tried to cover it up with thick eyeliner.

The pre-teen shifted in her seat as she felt her sister's eyes on her. The black sleeve of her shirt lifted up slightly and Hinata found herself staring. Where there should have been pale, milky skin, were light blue and purple bruises over her wrist. Red lines marred her arm in deep gashes and scabs. Without thinking, Hinata took her sister's arm and pulled the sleeve all the way up to her shoulder.

Hanabi tried to slap her hand away, but the other girl just tightened her grip.

Thick pink and purple scars decorated her upper arm and at the crook of her elbow. Fresh cuts and more small bruises stared back up at her momentarily before the girl ripped her arm away.

The two girls just stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say. Finally, a car honked behind them and Hinata turned back around to face the road. She moved the car forward, her eyes staring blankly at the steering wheel.

Just when Hanabi thought that her sister wasn't going to say anything, too overcome in disgust, she heard a low voice.

"Why?" Hinata whispered out in a breathless manner. Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden?

Hanabi actually smiled at her. She looked down at her arm and traced over a new slit that looked like it wanted to start bleeding again.

"It feels… so good. To see your own skin tear and rip apart easily under the tip of a blade is one of the most thrilling things in life. It hurts sometimes, but it's always a relief to the other pain. To the pain you put me through." She said in a voice that was soft and yet hysterical at the same time.

Hinata took a shaky breath and glanced to the side at her sister. The girl was scratching her nails along her skin while watching the scabs flake off and start to bleed.

"S-stop it," Hinata found herself whispering as she stared at the pink, tender flesh that had been under the shells of dry blood.

"Oh come on, this should be easy to look at compared to watching dad die. You watched his body freeze up and fall flat on the floor as his face turned red. Was it hard to look at him taking his last gasp of air, knowing that you could have helped him? Hell, you probably could have saved his life, but you did-"

"I couldn't move…" Hinata whispered suddenly, a distant look forming in her already foggy eyes. Hanabi shut her mouth and gazed at her sibling.

"…he just stared at me, and all I could do was stand there, shaking. I… saw it all. I saw him try to get up from the floor, his hair falling down in his face and onto the floor. I couldn't see his face after that… all I could see were his hands. He was trying to pull the collar of his shirt down… and…and that's when I moved. I unbuttoned the top three buttons… I remember fumbling with them and counting them out loud as he stopped moving. And I just sat there… staring at him…until I started shaking him, but he wouldn't wake up. No matter how loud I called his name, he wouldn't answer me back. He just…"

Hanabi watched as her older sister curled her fingers around the steering wheel. Tears were slowly falling down her face as she bowed her head. Hanabi remembered coming home that night with her mom and hearing her older sister yelling at her dad to get up. Everything had passed by in a blur after that. The ambulance arriving, people rushing by and knocking into her, voices calmly analyzing the situation, and then her mother pulling her into a hug.

She still didn't know why her mother had hugged her when she hadn't been the one crying. She guessed that maybe a part of her mother had also blamed Hinata for their father's death.

The girl got out of the car and slung her book bag over her shoulder as a few cars went around her sister's car. An officer directing traffic ran over to the dark green vehicle and tapped on the window. When Hinata didn't move to answer him, he beat on the window again. He got the same lack of response.

Hanabi walked towards the front entrance of her school as the officer tried to open the car door. It was locked. The man in uniform panicked as he called another officer over to help him. They were both trying to talk to her through the window and open the other doors at the same time. Hinata couldn't even hear them.

The younger Hyuuga walked faster towards the school's bathrooms, suddenly feeling the familiar itch in her arms that told her what she needed.

XXXXX

"So… you actually yelled at your dad?"

Naruto nodded his head, but kept his eyes transfixed on the mug of black coffee in his hands. The liquid swished around a little as he moved his hands to cup around it like a glove. Warmth spread into his palms and fingers as he sipped at the bitter beverage.

"Well, what'd your mom say?"

"Um… she didn't really say anything. She... just started crying." The blonde told him honestly.

Jiriaya sighed. He ran a hand through his bangs as he gazed at the boy. Naruto looked tired. He was curled up on the couch in a pair of his large sweat pants and a baggy shirt with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his eyes were beginning to droop as he stared into his decaffeinated coffee.

"Naruto, you know that you can always come and stay with me if things get out of hand at home. Even if you just want to stay a couple of days to think things over, that's fine with me."

Dim blue eyes glanced up at Jiriaya. Naruto wanted to say something, but he couldn't think of anything. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. He really hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Even though Sasuke's bed was comfortable, the boy himself liked to kick and hog the covers in his sleep. The only reason why Naruto had even woken up this morning was because he had fallen out of the bed when the other boy kicked him and claimed the entire mattress. It was actually kind of funny to see the Uchiha spread out on the rather large bed in a messy fashion.

"Just think about it, okay?"

Naruto shook himself from his thoughts and nodded before closing his eyes for a moment.

"You can take a nap if you want. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I'll be down in the store if you need anything."

He took the mug of coffee from Naruto and placed it on the table before the boy could fall asleep and spill it all over himself. Jiriaya took his own mug to the kitchen and placed it in the sink. With a quick glance at his nephew curling further up on the chair, he made his way to the front door.

"Happy birthday, brat," he yelled into the living room before heading downstairs. He needed to make a phone call.

In the big, comfy, ugly brown chair, Naruto smiled.

XXXXX

It was the first time she had ever seen her cousin act this way. He was usually calm and almost expressionless. But now… now he was gazing at her worriedly and sighing in relief as the doctor told him what was wrong. Even though she couldn't hear the doctor explaining the diagnosis, she had already heard it moments before.

It was nothing serious. It wasn't something she couldn't handle. She'd be on her feet and back at home in time to make dinner in no time at all. But only if the doctors would let her leave.

A small panic attack was nothing to worry about. They really didn't need to call her mother, who was unavailable at the time, and then her uncle. While Hizashi listened to the doctor go on about how she needed to rest, Neji slipped into her room. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes and just stared at her.

When Hinata couldn't look him in the eye anymore, she turned her gaze to her hands on her stomach. The loss of eye contact snapped Neji out of his reverie and he moved across the room until he was standing in front of her.

"Hinata? How are you feeling?" He asked her as he touched one of her hands.

The girl tried to smile up at him, but she knew that he would see pass it. He would be able to see the way it didn't reach her eyes, which is why she closed them and said, "I'm feeling better."

But even the small tremble in her voice gave her away. She was not all right, and they both knew it. Now, if one of them could actually admit it aloud then something could be done about it.

Neji could feel her discomfort and decided to break the silence. He let go of her hand and sat down in one of the chairs by the bed. The news he was about to tell her wasn't good though. He just hoped it wouldn't make things worse.

"Your mother couldn't come because she had to go pick up Hanabi."

Hinata glanced up at him at that. Instead of her eyes being blank or dull, a sliver of worry could be seen in her eyes. Neji continued.

"She was caught cutting in one of the bathrooms this morning. So they made her go to the nurse and wait for your mom to pick her up. They just got out of a meeting with the principal and should be here soon."

"Is she all right? Are they going to make her see someone or send her to a mental hospital? They can't do that, right? Did mom say what she was going to-"

"Calm down. She's fine. And no, they're not going to send her to some hospital. But she won't be allowed to go back to school until she gets some kind of help. That's all your mom said."

Before Neji could say anything else, a blur of pink and blue ran into the room. Hinata found herself with an armful of a crying Sakura.

"Oh, by the way, Sakura called to know where you were this morning. So I took the liberty of telling her."

The long haired boy gave her a knowing smile and walked out of the room. A slightly accusing glare followed him out the door.

Hinata looked back down at Sakura and saw that the girl had calmed down somewhat. Watery green eyes gazed up at her and a small smile formed on Sakura's lips.

"I'm glad that you're okay. I didn't know what to think when Neji said you were in the hospital. He didn't tell me what's wrong, though. Are you feeling all right? Did the doctors say anything? What happened?" Sakura finally stopped asking so many questions to try and give the other girl time to answer them.

Hinata's eyes softened a bit and she found herself wrapping her arms tighter around her friend. She could see in the other girl's eyes that she had more questions, and she would try her best to answer them all.

Even if she hadn't admitted them aloud to anyone else before.

XXXXX

Why was he here?

Even if Sasuke knew the answer to that question, he probably wouldn't answer it. All he knew was that when school ended, he found himself walking in the opposite direction of his house. And now… he was standing in front of Naruto's apartment complex. He would have gone up and knocked on the moron's door, but he wasn't sure if his parents were home or not. And he wasn't about to risk getting the other boy in trouble just to settle his curiosity.

He saw a curtain move in one of the windows on the third floor. The one that he believed to belong to Naruto's apartment. In case it was one of his parents, he gazed only a few seconds longer before moving down the sidewalk.

XXXXX

Nadine took the watering can to the plant on the windowsill and began to water it. She glanced out the window every few seconds, hoping that she would see Naruto walking down the sidewalk.

However, instead of seeing her son, she saw a boy with black hair and an RJR uniform on. She brushed the curtain back to get a better look at him and dropped the can when she recognized him.

"Nadine? Is everything all right?" She heard her husband call from his office.

"Y-yes. Everything's fine." She answered him. She looked towards the extra room that he was working in and noticed that he wasn't coming to check up on her. So, with light, but hurried steps, she made her way towards the front door.

She slipped out and walked quickly towards the stairs. They were faster than the elevator. Though she wished she would have remembered to grab her shoes.

XXXXX

"Wait!" A voice called out.

Sasuke stopped and turned around, wondering if the person was talking to him. He saw Mrs. Uzumaki running barefoot towards him and raised an eyebrow at her.

She stopped in front of him and caught her breath. Sasuke waited patiently to hear what she had to say. She wouldn't have run all the way down her to just chew him out… would she?

"D-did you want to see… Naruto?" She asked hesitantly.

Sasuke cocked his head to the side slightly before answering her.

"Yes, ma'am."

Nadine clasped her hands together and rung them nervously. She didn't really know why she was doing this. She was going against her husband by doing this, but… Naruto seemed happy around this boy. She had seen the way he had smiled the other day when she caught them kissing. Nadine hadn't seen her son smile like that in awhile.

"He… ran out this morning. And hasn't come home yet," she told him, her eyes glancing up at his every few seconds.

"My brother called and said that he's over there right now. I haven't gone to get him yet because he needs some time and I don't trust my husband to not start another argument so soon. So, when you see him can you tell him that I love him? And that he can come home when he wants too? Also… tell him happy birthday," she asked him.

Sasuke blinked in surprise and nodded his head. She smiled at him.

"Do you know where… where the _Marmalade_ book store is?" She whispered the name of the store in an embarrassed manner and looked away from him.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's where he's at. My brother owns the store…"

Sasuke grinned at her as she sighed.

"Thank you," he told her in a sincere manner. He meant it too.

"You're welcome."

She told him goodbye before moving back into the building. Sasuke started walking towards the store, a small smile on his face. He had an inkling that Naruto's mother knew what was going on between them, but he'd keep that to himself for now. If the woman did know, then he just found a new set of respect for her.

XXXXX

The curtain fell back to its original position as Kazuma turned away from the window. He went to go sit on the couch and wait for his wife to come back in. They needed to discuss a few things.

TBC

Okay, you people know the drill. You want more then you gotta ask for it.

Love ya,

Robin


	8. First Off

**First off, just want to say I'm really sorry for taking so long and sorry that I don't have the next chapter ready for you guys. Second, this story is not discontinued or will it ever be unfinished. It might take me awhile to finish this, but it will never be left hanging.**

**Let's see, how to explain this… basically, I love this fic and I had the whole thing planned out somewhat, but then I changed my mind for the next couple of chapters. I was going to have Orochimaru come in and be the bad guy, but in an overused way so I just threw that away and in doing so… threw out most of my ideas for the next few chapters. And writing the chapters isn't hard, it's just that I was going to have some of the minor characters take a stand, like Naruto's mom, and give some other people a bigger role. But now, they kind of don't have a purpose or play a big role with my new ideas. But I still want to develop their characters, so I have to find another way.**

**Anyway, I know it's been awhile but I hope you guys can hang in a bit longer. I really appreciate getting reviews, even if some of you are just yelling at me to hurry up and write something, they make me laugh and… sometimes I get a warm and fuzzy feeling deep down… but you didn't want to know that. **

**Also, I've decided to go to a higher English next school year so my teacher pulled me out of regular English this quarter and put me into AP so I'd be ready next year… but I'm about to die. Not nearly as much work, but all of it is more writing and in class writing. And we all know how slow I am at writing, not too mention I'm a perfectionist… somewhat, plus I hate writing for school. Out of the four classes I've had to write for all school year, I've only liked one paper that I actually wrote. Everything else was crap in my opinion… blah. So, I will be detained from writing this fic and reading all the beautiful fanfictions out there (sob) for a little while. But if you would like to drop by and message me or whatever to hurry up and write, I might be a little pumped and actually get something done. I've written a couple of pages for the next chapter and I've got an ass load of ideas, thanks to the reviews you guys have given me, or more like what you said in the reviews. **

**Now… I'm off to write a synthesis essay. What the hell is that? Anyone know? Otherwise I'm walking in blind for this thing and it's due tomorrow… crap.**

**Love you guys, wish I could bake you all some cookies… or something else, **

**Robin **


	9. Strange Disease

"**Where is God?"**

**By: Robin Maxwell**

**Disclaimer: don't own Naruto and co.**

**A/N: Sorry this is sooo late. It was getting pretty hectic there at the end of the school year, but I passed all my classes, so yeah! Unfortunately, now that I'm at the nice school I've been wanting to go to for a long time… it has some setbacks. This is the third high school I've transferred to, and it has put a toll on my schedule. Basically, I got screwed over in my math credits. I have to have four, and so far I only have two. I'm going to be a senior this year, and all the math classes are year long… so, I'm taking an algebra II class online this summer. Which sucks, because I'm horrible at math, and I can't fail it otherwise I'm completely screwed for next year. I'll have to drop down to a tech schedule (instead of being in college prep, it'll be tech prep) which means more classes (that are quite literally a waste of time) and I'll have to either take summer school to get all my credits in, or take an extra class after school during the entire school year. So, that's why I'm kind of behind in this story. Sorry about that, but hopefully the updates will be better after the next two weeks when I'm done with this class for once and for all. **

**Thank you to all the wonderful readers out there that are patient enough to wait around for this story. And especially the ones that review and give me encouragement… even if you are just yelling at me to hurry up. **

**Warnings: none… not even language. Strange… **

_Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it._

_-Buddha_

**Chapter Eight**

**Strange Disease**

Nadine closed the door behind her quietly and made her way into the living room. Everything was the way she had left it, even down to the watering can tipped over on the floor. Except, there was now a person sitting on the couch with their back turned towards her. For a moment, Nadine thought it was Naruto, until she walked closer and saw the frames of her husbands' glasses.

"Nadine? Why were you talking to that boy? Especially, after I told him not to come near our family again," Asked Kazuma as he grabbed onto her hands, and brought her to stand in front of him.

His wife stood there awkwardly, as if she were a child about to be reprimanded for something she knew she would get in trouble for. She shifted her eyes back and forth over the room and over him as he stared at her. After a few moments of silence, he squeezed her hands in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner, but ended up making her jump.

"Why was he here? Did he want to see Naruto?"

Nadine looked him in the eyes and tried to say her next words without faltering.

"I-I don't know," she mumbled, knowing that he could tell that she was lying. She looked away from him and began to fidget, knowing that a blush was starting to appear on her cheeks.

Kazuma could see that she was lying. He didn't know why she was being untruthful with him though. She had never disobeyed him before. So why was she protecting some boy she barely knew? Did it have something to do with Naruto?

He knew that his wife would go to great lengths for their son. She had disagreed with him in the past on certain things when it was concerning Naruto. So she may hide something from him now if it was about their son.

"You know why I don't want that boy around here, don't you?"

Nadine didn't look up as she shook her head. The hands around her own tightened again and she found herself raising her head to look at her husband's face.

"He's a sinner, Nadine. He believes that there is nothing wrong with being gay, which is probably what he is. We wouldn't want him to put those kinds of thoughts into Naruto's head. He's young and impressionable, and we wouldn't want to put him in a situation where he could be tempted by something like that. Even though we both know he's not like that, he could still be lured into it."

Nadine's eyes widened slightly at his words. She didn't know what to believe now. She wanted to believe her husband, partly because she wanted things to be normal. She wanted them to be a family, knowing that if her husband wasn't right that their family would be torn apart by this. But… a part of her knew that it wasn't up to her to decide what her son wanted in life. And it wasn't up to her husband either.

She had always thought that Naruto was interested in girls and a good Christian. And what her husband was saying now made some sense. Naruto could have been tricked by that boy… no matter how genuine he may seem, he could be hiding his true self. Even though Naruto seemed happy…

"And what would you do if our son has already been put in a situation like that? Or if he really does like other men?" She found herself asking him, wondering what he really thought. Did he just not like the idea because of what was in the bible, or because the notion of two men being together disgusted him?

Kazuma stood up abruptly and pulled his wife towards him. With her hands still held in his and pressed between their bodies, he looked down at her with narrowed eyes.

"What do you mean by that? Even if he thought that he liked other men, it's not true! It's just a stupid impression that someone else put into his head. And if he can't see that then we'll get him help!" He told her firmly, his eyes set on hers'.

"Help?"

"Yes. That's what we would do," he said distractedly as he let go of her. Even though he had been expecting something to be wrong with their son, he didn't think it would be this serious. He thought it might just be stress from school or depression. Things that could easily be taken care of with a pill.(1) But this… this was so much worse.

He began to pace around the room as he wracked his brains for a place that could both help and offer the outmost privacy for them.

"There are places that he can spend time in and get those silly thoughts out of his head with therapy and other methods. Like a hospital. Like a hospital with chores and punishments for when they don't cooperate," he told his wife.

Nadine didn't know what he was talking about until he said "punishments". Her head shot straight up and she watched her husband stride about the room with a look on his face that she had never seen before.

"You mean… like aversion therapy?"(2) She asked him in a quiet whisper that was filled with fright. She had read stories about the cruel practices that some doctors used on "willing" patients to turn them straight. Some had died from those "punishments", which were not punishments at all, but the so-called _treatment_ itself.

Kazuma didn't notice the slight tremor in his wife's voice. He just continued to stride back and forth in his little area. He didn't think that she knew exactly what the therapy included, so he just nodded his head, knowing that she was watching him. That one single movement made Nadine snap.

"How could you say that? That's not treatment! That's dehumanizing a person! It's like putting a person in a concentration camp! You want our son to go through something like that?!" She yelled at him, her hands balling into fists at her sides.

Kazuma stopped walking for a minute, surprised at her outburst. He tried not to show it though and continued to pace around the room. When he answered her, he didn't look up from the floor.

"If it would help him, then yes. I would do anything to help my son."

The moment those words came out of his mouth, Nadine walked up to him and stopped him in his tracks. Before he realized what she was doing, his face was already turned and his cheek was burning with an intense pain.

"That's not helping him! That's not helping anyone! How can you even call yourself his father after saying something like that?" She continued to scream in his face. How could she even think for one second that he was telling her the truth? As she replayed the words in her head, she realized how senseless they were. They were the words of someone who was scared of change or of something they didn't understand and didn't try to understand.

Nadine herself was scared of what was to come. Like how would her son ever get married? Or have children? She might not have any grandchildren, but she wouldn't lose her son over something as… trivial as this! If Naruto was happy being with… a man, instead of a woman, then she would just get used to it. She loved her son too much to question whether or not she should love him just because of his sexual preference. Like her husband was doing now.

Kazuma stood there in shock. He touched the side of his cheek and flinched. The frame of his glasses had cut into his skin and blood was starting to drip down the side of his face. His wife just watched him, not caring in the least that he was bleeding. That was the least of his problems at the moment.

"Right now, I don't even know if I can call you my husband," she told him in a hushed voice, her eyes brimming with tears.

Nadine walked out of the room, leaving her husband alone with his hand still pressed against his cheek and a stunned look on his face.

XXXXX 

Sasuke walked through the front door as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Naruto if he was still sleeping. He crept into the living room and saw that his friend was indeed asleep. Naruto was curled up into a ball on a large chair, making odd breathing noises that sounded like a cat purring. He smiled slightly to himself as he looked down at the boy, thinking of ways to wake him up.

But the more he watched him sleep, the more content he became with just gazing at him. Sasuke decided against waking him up and opted to watch his chest rise and fall with every breath he took, and the way his face was relaxed and peaceful in sleep.

As much as Naruto wanted to keep on sleeping, he felt something nagging at him to wake up. The more he was pulled out of his sleepy state, the more his senses could tell him what was bothering him. And now he knew what it was. Someone was watching him.

He blinked his eyes open, expecting to either see Jiriaya or his mother. But the person standing before him was taller than his mother, but shorter than his uncle, and had dark hair. No one in his family had dark hair like that. The only person he could think of was…

"Sasuke?"

Naruto shifted in his bundle of blankets and tried to sit up as Sasuke put his book bag down. The teen came and helped Naruto get up, since he was having so much difficulty. He maneuvered himself in the chair, sitting directly behind Naruto with his legs on either side of the other boy's body. Naruto rested his back against Sasuke's chest and gave a big yawn.

Sasuke's hands rested on his knees, although he felt like wrapping his arms around the boy in front of him, and shoving his nose into his hair. After taking a look at the blond's hair though gave him second thoughts. Sasuke had forgotten that it rained that morning and judging by the way Naruto's hair was frizzy and messier than usual, he'd guess that he got caught in the storm.

"Sasuke," Naruto said again, "What are you doing here?"

The dark haired teen took a deep breath, the faint scent of Naruto's shampoo filling his nose, and then exhaled slowly. He knew why he was there, but he wasn't sure he wanted to tell the other boy his reason. He didn't know how Naruto would react if he told him that he missed him, that he had been worried when he didn't show up for school, and how he had unknowingly walked to his apartment and had an interesting talk with his mother, which then led him here.

"Sasuke," the teen growled out sleepily as he didn't get a reply again.

Sasuke shook his head, deciding to go with the truth he said, "… I stopped by your apartment after school."

Naruto turned his head sharply to look over his shoulder at Sasuke, his neck groaning in protest.

"Why?"

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his bangs, his eyes on the floor. He didn't know why he was telling Naruto the truth, except for the fact that he was bad at lying. And he also had a strange urge to tell him the truth, even if it betrayed his feelings for the boy. Whatever those feelings were.

"I wanted to see if you were okay, since you didn't show up for school today."

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered in anticipation, his thoughts already racing with possibilities that may have occurred between Sasuke and his parents. Did his dad see Sasuke? Was Sasuke angry when he didn't find him at home? Who told him that he was here? Where was his mom-

"I talked to your mom," Sasuke told him, skipping over the details, "She asked me to tell you a few things."

Naruto turned back around and slumped against his friend's body again. He closed his eyes and asked, "What'd she say?"

"She wanted me to tell you that she lo-", Sasuke stopped, finding that he couldn't say the words. Even though he was just relaying a message, it felt like he was actually saying 'I love you'.

"She sends her… love," he said instead, "And that you can come home whenever you want to."

Sasuke felt the other boy's body relax just a little bit against him, and slowly placed his own hands on Naruto's shoulders.

"Oh, and she also wanted me to tell you… happy birthday."

Naruto smiled sheepishly. He hadn't really thought about his birthday today, and it was one of the most important ones he would ever have. He was eighteen today.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

The blond shrugged his shoulders and said, "Forgot, I guess."

Sasuke whispered, "Idiot," into his hair, though when he got that close to him, he didn't know, nor did he know when he had finally given into the temptation to wrap his arms around the boy's body. He didn't care though, seeing as Naruto was returning his embrace.

XXXXX

It was after school, and Zabuza yawned tiredly as he flipped through the last page of a test he was grading. After marking off points for missed answers, he put the final grade on the paper and put it in with the rest of the stack. Just as he was about to pick up another test a knock came from the doorway.

"Yo," Kakashi said with a small wave as he stepped into the classroom. He leaned on one of the desks with the side of his hip and gazed lazily at Zabuza. The U.S. History teacher merely grunted at him in greeting as he started to check another test.

"So, I'm not going to be here on Thursday and Friday, and was wondering if you could baby-sit for me."

Zabuza looked up at him and said, "Where are you going?"

"Eh, I have to go to some stupid conference thingy. And they're sending me some sub that I don't know, so I don't want my shadow to be stuck in there with nothing to do."

The dark haired man at the desk stopped flipping through the paper to give his colleague his full attention.

"Shadow?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. This week Haku was supposed to come in and shadow me on those days, but this conference was unexpected, and I highly doubt he wants to go with me. So, I thought it would be a good idea for him to see how another teacher teaches… _history_."

Zabuza's face turned red at the mention of the younger man's name. His thoughts traveled back to when Haku kissed him a couple of weeks ago. He didn't know if he could handle having the younger man with him for two days, hours on end, watching his every move. It was already bad enough that he had to see him two days out of the week, every week.

"Zabuza?"

Zabuza looked up at Kakashi and asked, "Is there anyone else that he can stay with?"

Kakashi gave him a half smile as he answered.

"Well, Genma is also going to the conference, leaving you and Gai. I don't know if the boy can handle being with Gai for two days. Most of his students can't handle him. So, can you take care of him for me?"

The U.S. history teacher closed his eyes briefly, wondering why he was getting himself into this. He knew that he would probably regret this. Something would go wrong. Whether it was Haku making another move, or himself giving into temptation… something would go wrong, and he knew it.

"Sure."

XXXXX

Later that night, as Zabuza was taking a shower he found his thoughts in forbidden territory, and his body betraying him.

_God, this is so wrong, _he thought to himself.

Not only was the person he was thinking about another guy, but he was also six years his junior. And Zabuza did not make a habit of jerking off to boys that were barely legal. But he was extremely frustrated. Both sexually and mentally. The boy had been messing with his head for weeks now.

Zabuza shifted under the spray of water as it grew lukewarm.

Everywhere Zabuza went, there he was. And he always looked good too, which just made everything worse. Not to mention the fact that he was flirting shamelessly with Kakashi… who flirted right back. The bastard.

He knew that Haku was just trying to make him jealous, and hell, it was working apparently. However, the very idea of him being with his coworker made his blood boil.

But a mental picture of Kakashi was not something Zabuza wanted to see while jerking himself off. Instead, he imagined his hands running through Haku's long silky hair, down his chest, past his navel and-

The phone rang, and Zabuza groaned in frustration. He turned off the water and grabbed the towel hanging close by. Two more rings, and he was out of the shower, his hair plastered to his face and water dripping down his chest. He grabbed the phone as it began to ring for a fourth time and held it up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Zabuza," a familiar voice said on the other end.

Zabuza cursed under his breath, wishing that he had looked at his caller ID before picking up the phone. As he heard the other person on the phone say his name again, he felt guilt creep into his stomach.

"Yes?"

"I want a divorce."

XXXXX

Hinata stayed in the hospital all night, much to her displeasure, and left early the next morning. The only good thing that came out of her stay there was that Sakura had refused to leave her side all night. Even though visiting hours had ended at nine, the pink-haired girl argued with the nurses until they gave up, and let her crash on the couch in her room. Even though it wasn't necessary, Hinata found it… endearing.

Her mom had wanted to come pick her up in the morning, but Hinata told her that Sakura had offered to give her a ride. She had asked about Hanabi, and her mother told her about making an appointment with their doctor later in the day. The only thing Hinata wanted her mom to have to worry about right now was her little sister. And all Hinata wanted to worry about was herself, for a change. She was concerned with Hanabi, but she didn't want to stress herself out over it.

"Hinata," Sakura said as she waved a hand in front of the girl's face. Hinata snapped out of her thoughts and blinked up at the slightly taller girl in front of her.

"Sorry, just zoned out for a minute." She said with a light blush.

Sakura gave her a weird look as she opened the passenger door for her.

"You know, I can open doors on my own, and drive myself home. I'm not a little kid," Hinata said sarcastically, even though there was a little bit of truth in it. She didn't like being treated like she was in a wheelchair or was handicapped. But since this was Sakura, she didn't mind as much as if it had been Neji or her mom.

"Well, too bad." Sakura said, sensing the slight discomfort in her friend. She knew that the girl wasn't used to being pampered, but she was worried. None of this would be happening if… if Hinata would take better care of herself. But the last thing she wanted to say was that Hinata didn't know how to take care of herself. That would push her away.

Once when they both in the car, Sakura turned to the passenger side and looked at her friend.

"I'm not here to take care of you, Hinata. I'm just here to help you." She told her seriously, her voice softening on her name.

Hinata felt her heart beat quicken at the sound of her name on the other girl's lips. She had heard it countless times, but she had never heard it said like that. It has almost sounded as if Sakura were talking to… someone she loved. Someone she loved more than just a friend. The very idea of that being possible was ridiculous, though. Hinata knew that, but a part of her hoped that it was true. It was strange to actually wish for something like that, but Hinata decided not to dwell on it.

"Let's go home." Hinata said, a smile directed at her friend. Sakura smiled back.

XXXXX

In my opinion, this is not up to my usual standards. I like parts of it, but overall, I'm a bit disappointed with it. It felt rushed and… somewhat incomplete. But I didn't really know how to fix that, even though I went through it about five times to add some stuff and take other things out. Sorry it was a bit rushed, but I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment.

1) I'm not saying that depression can easily be treated, especially with just a pill.

2) Aversion therapy, I'm pretty sure most of you have heard about it. If you haven't, I pretty much described it to you in this chapter. But there is more to it. Usually they take a picture of homosexual porn or erotic pictures of men and how them to their patients, while giving them a negative treatment at the same time. Usually, the negative treatment is a shock of high voltage or something to make the person vomit. In one case, a patient actually had ammonia sprayed up his nose. And then they show a picture of a female, usually with nice, calming music, and a positive treatment. The positive treatment being no shock of voltage or something along the lines of a negative reaction. If you want to know more about this, then you can do a search on google or wikipedia. Just type in aversion therapy.


	10. As the World Falls Down

**I'm so sorry that this is... what, a year too late. It's just been a little difficult. Starting my senior year, having my boyfriend move away for college, constant fighting with him, and then having him break up with me a few months ago. I've been in a complete daze these last few months because of that, i'm surprised a passed the 12th grade. I did work on this during that time but i only finished it now, after realizing what a horrible person i am for not continuing this sooner or giving you guys a head up. Hope you guys can forgive me. And for anyone who likes to know, i like the quotes, that's why they're there. Also, if anyone can tell me who sings the song that is the title of this chapter and tell me what movie it comes from... i'll dedicate the next chapter to you. Please enoy this. I'm working on the rest of it as we speak, but i am starting my first year of college this year. and my school is expensice, so i have to have workstudy on nights and weekends, plus a part-time job. so, please bear with me. it's going to be hard these next few years. hopefully, i should be done with this story within the next... fuck, i don't even know how long this story is going to be. anyone wanna take a guess for me or give me an idea of how long it should be? i know its going to be my longest story yet though. Sorry, but this chapter may be a bit unorganized. I've been up since 11 writing and eating 2yr old pixie sticks. it is definitely not edited by anyone but me... so be prepared for mistakes. **

**Where is God?**

By: Robin Maxwell

_"God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them." Author Unknown_

Chapter Nine 

As the World Falls Down

The clock on the wall chimed loudly as Naruto sat in anticipation. He counted the chimes ten times before they faded away. Somewhere in his mind, he registered that it was ten o'clock. To say that he was uncomfortable in his own house was an understatement. He had never felt so tense in his life. He hadn't even been this nervous earlier when he had decided to come home. That was only a few hours ago, though it felt like ages. A sudden desire to see Sasuke again struck him. It would be a lot easier to face his dad if he was sitting beside him right now, holding his hand. But he had turned Sasuke down when he had mentioned it. He knew it would have only been worse if he were here with him. Not to mention, he didn't want his dad to yell at Sasuke like that ever again. He didn't deserve it. However, he would still feel a bit more confident with the other man's hand in his own.

_I bet Dad would just love that_, he mused to himself as he thought about the look on his father's face at him holding another guy's hand.

His leg wouldn't stop jerking up and down, and he couldn't remove his eyes from the floorboards of the living room. He didn't have to look at his father to know that he was glaring at him in disapproval. The only thing that kept him from running back to Jiraiya's apartment was his mother's presence beside him.

Kazuma leaned forward in his chair, placing his elbows on his knees. His eyes roamed over his son's appearance, and noted that he was nervous. Anger built within him as the silence continued. So far, he had not heard Naruto utter an apology for his actions. His forehead crinkled with disapproval, causing his glasses to inch up his nose. They brushed against the small scratch on his cheek, reminding him of his wife's words. He glanced over at her, but she wasn't paying him any attention. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep his anger in check. He would have to watch what he said in front of her carefully. The last thing he wanted was for her to yell at him with Naruto in the room.

"After your… behavior yesterday, I realized that there need to be some changes in the rules around here," he started.

Naruto still didn't look up at him. He tried not to get his hopes up, knowing that his father was not going to be so forgiving. He was surprised at how calm he was at the moment, but knew that it was only a matter of time before the yelling started.

"The same rules still apply about you coming home after school, and doing your homework before you go out. Also, you have to ask us if you can go anywhere, whether it is a school night or on the weekend. We want you to spend time with your… friends, and get out occasionally, but we also want to know that you are safe. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Naruto felt like he was ten years old again, having to ask his parents if he could go play with one of the neighborhood kids. He nodded his head in response.

"For right now, though, you are grounded for not coming home the other day, and for not even calling us to let us know where you were."

The tone in his voice made Naruto look up. His father stared at him with… disgust in his eyes. The blond had a feeling that his father knew where he had been that night. The feeling only grew worse at Kazuma's next words.

"We know that you have been hanging out with that boy, whatever his name is. I already told you that you are not allowed to see him anymore. Why did you disobey me?"

Nadine shifted beside him on the couch. He glanced at his mother, wondering what she was thinking. She had told Sasuke where to find him, even though he wasn't supposed to see him. Why would she do such a thing? She always agreed with what his father said. The look on her face was unreadable, though.

"Naruto?" His father questioned.

"His name is Sasuke and he's a good friend of mine… he's new, so he doesn't have many friends," he answered lamely. He rubbed his eyes in irritation at his own pathetic response, wishing that his father would just drop the subject. He would need a miracle for that to happen.

Kazuma knew that this was not the only reason, though he desperately wished it were. What was he going to do with him? He didn't know how to keep him away from this boy, and things would only get worse if his son continued to hang around him. Well, he did know of a way to separate them, but that plan was to be used as a last resort only. It was drastic, even for his standards. Not to mention, he didn't think his wife would allow it.

"It's getting late. You look tired, Naruto. Why don't you go wash up and get some sleep?" His mother's voice interjected before her husband could say another word.

Both men in the room looked at her in disbelief. Naruto was thankful, and ready to follow her instructions if it meant getting out of this conversation. Kazuma was about to protest, but the look on his wife's face was stern. He really did not want to upset her again and start another argument. He sighed in frustration as Nadine hugged Naruto, and looked away from them.

"Thanks, mom." Naruto whispered in her ear. She pulled back with a smile on her face.

"I'm glad to have you home."

He told them goodnight, though it was mainly directed at Nadine, and walked into his room. Kazuma called after him, "We'll finish this tomorrow."

He glanced back at his wife, wondering if she would reprimand him now that she had sent Naruto away. She was watching him. He drew back into the chair, hoping to get away from her sight. Though he knew it was impossible.

Nadine gazed at Kazuma with a sense of… power running through her. She had never had this much control over him. It was a new feeling, an exhilarating feeling. She knew that it came with the instinct to protect her son. She wanted Naruto to be happy, no matter what that entailed. And she wouldn't let her husband get in the way of that.

She took a sip of the forgotten tea beside her on the table, the ice clinking against the glass. Nadine turned towards the television, picked up the remote, and turned it on. The sound was deafening in the silent room, though the volume was low.

Kazuma had almost jumped at the noise, but stayed planted in his seat. His wife was completely ignoring him now. The fact that she had not spoken a word to him since she informed him that Naruto was coming home was bothering him. He had a feeling that he would be sleeping alone tonight. However, in their nineteen years of marriage, he had never slept without her beside him.

"You were right, it is getting late. Are you coming to bed?" He asked her quietly.

Nadine picked up her glass again, took a drink, and put it back on the table.

"Not yet," was all she said to him, her eyes never leaving the TV screen. She turned the volume up on the TV as she curled her legs under her body.

Her husband waited a moment in hesitation before he stood up. He didn't bother turning on the light as he walked into their room and fell onto the bed. After a few minutes of his stomach twisting itself into knots, he sat up, and brushed his hand through his hair.

The fact that his wife was… scaring him was disconcerting. He had never felt so out of control in all his life. He was the head of the family, not Nadine, and certainly not Naruto. So why was he letting them walk all over him? It was his responsibility to keep his family together, and to provide the foundation that held them up.

Before he took off his glasses and placed them on the bedside table, he had reestablished his place in this family. He would make sure that things returned to the way they were tomorrow. Kazuma had drifted off to sleep while thinking about how he would go about his plan, without realizing that his wife had not come to bed.

Although the TV was still playing a classic movie, there was no audience to witness it. The viewer had long ago moved into the kitchen, after her husband had fallen asleep. Her voice was low as she whispered into the phone, "I'll come by tomorrow."

The conversation lasted only a few more moments before she hung up. Nadine yawned into her hand and stood up to go to bed. She paused in front of the doorway to her bedroom, and gazed at the figure that lay on top of the covers. She turned around and pulled the throw blanket from the back of a chair, and stretched out on the couch. The TV screen went black, casting the room into darkness.

Naruto placed his trashcan upright, and sighed quietly to himself. His father had been very thorough in wrecking his room. He decided to finish cleaning up tomorrow as he pulled off his dirty uniform and threw it into the corner. A clean shirt was pulled down over his head as he walked around the disarrayed room in search of some fresh boxers.

After finding a pair, he crawled into bed and turned off the lamp. He listened for any noises, wondering if his parents were going to argue. His ears only met silence, and then, the humming of the fridge.

XXXXX

Sasuke opened the window slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible. The wood creaked and he stopped for a moment, hoping his aunt hadn't heard the noise. Then he thought, _It's not like she would actually care_, before he pushed up with both hands again. He crawled out the window, the tin roof bending, and groaning under his feet. He took a few more steps before sitting down and digging his hand into his coat pocket.

A cold breeze hit his face and stirred his bangs as his thumb flipped the lighter on. The small flame flickered in the wind and light rain, casting an orange shadow over the teen's face. He inhaled—the bitter night air and smoke filling his lungs. A burning sensation crept down his throat, and he fought the urge to cough. It had been a long time since he had had a cigarette.

Wisps of smoke danced around his head before being carried off by the wind. Sasuke watched as the smoke thinned and then disappeared into the gathering rain. He could barely hear the music that filtered out the open window of his room behind him now. The awning above him blocked him from most of the water, but his uncovered feet and the bottom of his sweat pants were unprotected.

He smoked the cigarette down to the filter, waiting for that moment when the small green lines would disappear into the ashes, and the inside of his mouth and nostrils would burn for a split second. Sasuke ground the burning bud out and then tossed it down into the street. The taste of tobacco lingered in his mouth, but he savored the sharp aftertaste. It was comforting and familiar, just like the chilly autumn night that promised the falling of leaves soon to come.

After a few minutes, the rain lightened up to a drizzle, and then stopped completely. Even though Sasuke enjoyed the rain and the soothing pattern of the water drops hitting the roof, he wasn't disappointed when it came to an end. His body shivered slightly, and he wrapped his arms around himself as goose bumps started to cover his body. He watched cars drive by on the road below him, as the wind started to howl loudly.

When a dark hooded figure started to walk up the sidewalk, he thought it was another homeless person. He saw so many of them on his way to school in the mornings that it was a natural occurrence now. The headlights of a passing car glared brightly into his eyes, but he only noticed the piercing gaze of the person walking towards his house. He had not seen those eyes in over a month.

Sasuke jumped back, his elbow hitting the window seal behind him. He grimaced as the person disappeared under the roof of his house. He unconsciously started to crawl towards the edge, his body shaking with anticipation. Before he reached the edge, he imagined the person walking up the steps and entering the front door. Did he remember to lock the door today? Sasuke could not remember, but he was beyond worried now. He could not stop shaking, and he knew it had nothing to do with the cold.

The sidewalk was visible now, along with the stairs to his front door. He leaned over, his hands holding onto the edge of the roof. He blinked a few times in disbelief, and then sighed in relief. No one was at the door, or on the stairs. The dragging of someone's feet was heard nearby, and Sasuke whipped his neck around. The figure was standing under the lamppost near his neighbor's house. The hood was still on, but Sasuke could tell that the person was tall, much taller than his brother was.

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment before looking at the person again. The more he stared, the more he realized how irrational his fear was. This man was not his brother. His eyes must have a played a trick on him earlier. He did not know where Itachi was, but he doubted that he was close by. The police would have found him by now if he were still in the city.

He crawled back up the roof, his face flushed with embarrassment. He must have looked ridiculous creeping about like some kind of ninja. A horrible ninja at that, since the person had looked up at the noise and spotted him. Sasuke felt stupid as he went through his window and then closed it behind him. He just hoped that one of his neighbors had not seen him. He didn't need people thinking that he was going to commit suicide by jumping off the roof. His aunt was worried about him enough as it was without a stupid rumor to add to it.

XXXXX

Clara watched as the light in Sasuke's room burned out. She had hesitated too long once again. She dropped her hand that was posed in a knock at his door. She ran her hand through her long black hair, sighing to herself in frustration. Clara walked back to her room, her small feet making no noise across the wooden floorboards.

The door clicked shut behind her as she rested her head against it. She wished that she knew what to do. Sasuke was so hard to read that she could not tell if he was in pain or if he really was doing all right. She did not even know if he had someone to confide in, since he had refused to see a psychologist when he first moved in with her. It was times like this that she wished her mother were there. Her mother would have known what to do. A small, sad smile crossed her face as she remembered the day that she discovered that she had been adopted into the Uchiha family.

She had been so upset, and in denial about it at first. It hadn't made any sense to her. She looked so much like her mother. They both had the same thick black hair, round brown eyes that were almost black, and petite hands with long, artistic fingers. However, the same genes did not make up her body. The same blood did not run in her veins.

Over the years, though, she started to realize that it didn't matter if they were related by blood or not. Blood could only create a bond so thin. Theirs' was thick and strong. Clara had been given so much love and care when her mother had adopted her. Of course, she had been too young to remember that she had been abandoned at a bus station. She didn't remember the orphanage, or the woman that had given her the name of her own daughter.

Clara was grateful to the people that took care of her, but she was glad that she didn't remember them. She only had memories of growing up with her mother, father, and two siblings. Losing her mother, who was also her best friend, had been devastating. It had taken her years of counseling, and the support of her family and friends to move on. Even after losing her "brother," Sasuke's father, she had started to see her old psychologist again. She still had the support of her friends, but that of her families' was starting to dwindle because of deaths and disappearances. She didn't know how Sasuke could handle it on his own.

Sasuke had lost his family, and his friends. He had no one to depend on, except her. She scoffed at this thought, knowing that she had not been as supportive as she could have been so far. She had tried to help, but it did him no good. Now, she was out of ideas. Clara turned off the overhead light and kneeled before her bed. With her head bowed, and her hands clasped, she asked God to watch over him. She prayed that he had someone to help him through, and that if he didn't, that He would send someone.

XXXXX

Never in all her life did Nadine think she would be standing before this store with the intention of walking through its door. She shook her head at the name of the bookshop and pushed open the door. A bell chimed overhead, but she barely noticed the sound as she glimpsed at a magazine on one of the shelves. A blush rose to her cheeks as her eyes widened at the picture of a naked man with a cowboy hat over his crotch on the cover. His suggestive smile made her look away and cough at her discomfort.

Her brother walked into the room and greeted her with a loud, "Good morning."

She jumped and nearly knocked over a cardboard cutout picture of a scantly dressed woman at his voice. Nadine knew her face must have looked like a tomato by now as she put out her hand to steady the picture. Why didn't she ask to meet him at a café or somewhere else that did not have nude pictures of men and women everywhere she looked?

"M-morning," she stumbled out as she tilted her head down in an attempt to hide her blush.

Jiriaya slapped her lightly on the back good-naturedly with a howl of laughter. He didn't think his sister would survive another five minutes in the store without having a nosebleed, so he decided to take pity on her and escort her up to his apartment. He would just have to make sure she didn't stumble into his room, otherwise she really would faint from embarrassment.

As Nadine sat down at the kitchen table, Jiraiya placed a cup of steaming Almond flavored tea in front of her. The familiar fragrance made her smile at him. Trust her brother to remember the small things that she liked that her husband didn't even know about.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he told her as he sat down with his own cup of coffee. He watched his younger sister blow on her tea to cool it down, and tried to think back to the last time that they had sat down to talk like this. He couldn't remember the last time he had a chance to look at her up close for a long period of time. Even though she was in her late forties, she still looked about mid-thirties. She definitely aged like their mother. Nadine had few wrinkles on her forehead and even less laugh lines around her mouth. He also couldn't find a single gray hair on her head, though he suspected that she would dye her hair if she ever had any. He did notice, however, that she was wrinkling her forehead up with deep concentration.

She sipped cautiously at her tea as she thought of how to start this conversation. Nadine had never dealt with this much stress in her entire life, and now she was experiencing so much of it in just one week. She thought she might crack under the pressure if she didn't talk to someone about it soon. Thankfully, Jiriaya had already noticed her distress and decided to help her work through it.

"How's Naruto doing," he started for her.

"I guess he's fine. He was nervous around Kazuma, but that's understandable…" She trailed off, wondering how she was about to phrase what was really bothering her about the two men she lived with.

"Let me guess, that Sasuke kid that was here yesterday, he's the boy that your husband told to stay away from Naruto, right?"

Nadine nodded at him. She didn't miss the way that he refused to say Kazuma's name. He had never cared for him, she knew, and didn't feel the need to show him any respect by calling him by his name. This was one of the many reasons why the two siblings had not been close over the years. However, she didn't really mind that he didn't call him by his name at the moment. Her respect for him had fallen substantially since their argument. She thought that she still loved him, but she was confused about what to do with him right now. She just hoped that he would be able to see reason, and forgive their son for the path he had chosen. Even though she thought he had nothing to be forgiven for, she knew that Kazuma would not see it that way in his eyes.

"So, why'd you tell him where he could find Naruto?"

"I… I've never seen Naruto so happy in the last year or so. I think something happened between him and his best friend, but he wouldn't tell me exactly what happened. He just… hasn't been the same since then. And now…"

Jiriaya stared at the conflicted expression on his sister's face, wondering if she was going to say anything else. She merely bit her bottom lip.

"So, you think he's happier now? With this Sasuke character around?"

"I do, but I think he would be a lot happier if he could just tell us how he felt. I know he's frustrated at not being able to be honest with us, but I don't know what to do. Kazuma isn't very understanding when it comes to Naruto being…uh…"

"Gay?" He supplied.

She nodded her head, her teeth once again seeking out to worry her bottom lip.

"How do you feel about it," he asked quietly.

"I… I don't really know," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes. She wiped them away impatiently as they fell down her cheeks.

"I mean, I love him, no matter what. But… I'm new to this. I was raised to believe that love between two men was wrong, but I'm not so sure anymore." She looked up at him with pleading eyes, hoping that he had some answers for her doubts. She just didn't know what to do in a situation like this. She knew in her heart that she would never turn her son away, whether he was gay or even committed murder. Nadine loved him too much, but his way of life was conflicting with how she was raised. Everything in life had been presented to her as either black or white by her parents. Now, though, she was starting to see more of those gray areas that people talked about. Naruto's love life was just one of them.

"He's happy being with this young man, and nothing else has changed about him. He's still himself, just… he's becoming a bit more independent from us, but that's supposed to happen some time in his life. Just a bit sooner than I expected, I guess. But I haven't seen any negative changes in him… so, I don't understand how this could be wrong. It's just like him being in a relationship with a girl… with a few differences, except I don't have to worry about him getting anyone pregnant." She half-joked, even though she knew that she wouldn't have worried about that anyway. Not with Naruto anyway, he was smarter than that.

Jiriaya let out a long sigh, which caused Nadine to glance up at him.

"Well, it sure as hell doesn't bother me. His boyfriend is a bit of a smartass, but he really cares for Naruto. From what I've seen and heard."

Nadine snorted at that, recalling the day she saw them kissing. It didn't bother her as much as it used to, and was one hell of a way for her to find out that her son was gay by catching him in the act. Which was a complete shock for her, but it helped her not be so blind to other things around her. It made her believe that her son liked other men. If he had just told her, she probably would have thought he was playing a cruel joke on her.

"And what did you see?" She asked curiously, sniffing slightly now that the tears were subsiding. Her brother's blunt words always had a way of calming her down, even if he wasn't trying to.

Jiriaya leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest before he said, "Hmp, the two wouldn't stop hugging on that damn chair in the living room. I almost had to kick the kid's ass out after he found out Naruto was going home. He wanted to go with him to face the wrath of your husband. Still don't know if the kid was feeling guilty or suicidal?"

Nadine raised her eyebrows at that. After dealing with her husband once, that young man was willing to face him again, knowing what he would do, just to comfort Naruto. _Either that boy is stupid or he's in love with my son_, she thought to herself with a small smile.

Jiriaya cleared his throat, interrupting her thought pattern. She looked up at him again, and noticed the serious expression on his face. He kept his eyes locked onto her own to let her know how important this was for him to say.

"You know… if anything happens at home, and for some reason or another Naruto can't stay there, he's always welcome here. That offer goes for you too, sis. You know how I feel about… your husband. He doesn't deserve either of you in my opinion. You're too good for him," he said with a tone of finality. He had been trying to make his sister see that for years, but it had never really sunk in.

If Nadine had heard him say those same words a couple of weeks ago, she would have walked out on him. Like she had done any other time he said that. Now, though, she couldn't help feeling that there was some truth to his words. Ever since her argument with Kazuma, she had gone over the little details in the time she had known him before and after they were married, and noticed things that she hadn't paid attention to before. From the way he treated her as a subordinate and not an equal to the way he controlled Naruto's life.

Different things had blinded her before, like her instruction to be a dutiful wife from her mother, and what she believed to be her last hope at ever getting married due to her age. Her mother had been married at the age of seventeen to her first husband, and then twenty-five to her second and last husband. Nadine's younger sister had married before her as well, though she still didn't have any children. At the time that she married Kazuma, she was twenty-nine and just settling. She honestly thought that she wouldn't have another opportunity at her age. When Kazuma had proposed to her, she told herself that she would learn to love him as her husband.

Nadine realized now that she couldn't honestly say what she felt towards her husband was love. It was more of a sense of duty as his wife. Something that had been ingrained into her brain and heart since she was a young girl. She had never really questioned her job as a wife until it interfered with her role as a mother. Who was more important to her: Her husband of nineteen years or the son that she has watched grow up from his first birthday to the young man he is today? She didn't want to have to choose between the two, but she knew that if it came down to it there was no doubt as to who she would pick.

"Jiriaya… I think you may be right." She finally told her brother, after years of listening to him but never believing him.

He placed his hand over her clasped ones' and gave her a gentle squeeze. He meant it to be comforting, and that's exactly how it felt to her. She smiled up at him, and he in turn grinned at her.

"Glad you're finally starting to see how brilliant I am," he told her with a quirk of one of his eyebrows. She hit him lightly on the hand for the comment.

"Oh come on, just admit I've been right all these years."

Instead, she told him where he could stuff his oversized ego at, and then blushed at her own vulgarity. Her brother really was a bad influence. But she realized that she wouldn't have loved him the same any other way. He just laughed at her and started talking about the store's business and the kind of people that shopped there. Nadine decided not to mention the argument that her and Kazuma had. Only because she didn't want Jiriaya to kill him. She would have to figure out her own way to deal with his attitude and change his opinion. If that didn't work, then she could pull out the ultimate weapon that most wives have and threaten him with it.

XXXXX

Please read author's note up top. It explains the delay and the question of the day! Or.. morning if you're up like me right now.


	11. Come What May

So, I just finished the anime Death Note over break. And I'm still slightly obsessed with it. So obsessed that I will one day write a fanfic for it, but at the present moment, I don't have the time or skills to do that. So, expect some random quotes from the series up here. And go watch the anime, movies, and read the manga when you get a chance if you haven't already. LxLight are one of the cutest couples in existence… at least, they are to me, and if you ignore the series.

Also, I need to make a correction to an earlier chapter. I'll have to go back and fix it later. Anyway, when Sasuke and Naruto's father are arguing Sasuke mentions the "gay gene." At the time, I was told that it existed, but recent research has told me otherwise. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a gay gene. While I still believe that most people are born gay, there is no genetic research that proves this at this time in history.

This chapter is dedicated to MimeMoe and Baka Hanyou Raevyn, since you both guessed who sang the song of the title of the last chapter. "As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie in the movie _The Labyrinth._

Now, does anyone know who sang the song in the chapter title? What movie it is from?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters… unfortunately.

"_Let us value our lives." _

-L, the greatest detective in the world, Death Note

**Chapter Ten**

**Come What May**

Thursdays were supposed to be one of the tolerable days of the week. However, this Thursday in particular was dragging on like there was no tomorrow. Naruto glanced at the notes on the board that the teacher was pointing to and discussing. He knew he should have been writing them down, but he just didn't care. His eyes strayed over to the young man sitting beside him for the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes.

Sasuke knew he was being watched, but didn't show his awareness. Instead, he continued to copy down the notes off the board. He wasn't paying attention to the teacher though, thinking more along the lines of what Naruto had told him briefly this morning. He still didn't have all the details about what his parents said when he got home last night after hiding out at his Uncle's for most of the day.

A brush against his still hand interrupted his thoughts, making him look down at the object of his disturbance. Naruto was idly sweeping his fingers over his hand that had previously been writing notes with. He didn't even realize that he had stopped copying them. Sasuke looked into Naruto's eye, silently questioning him on what he was doing. His friend smiled at him before sitting up and retracting his hand back to his own desk. The bell cut his questioning gaze short as he started to pack up his bag, while his teacher hurried through the end of his lecture.

"What were you thinking about?" Naruto asked him as they walked out of the classroom.

"You and what happened with your parents. When are you going to have time to tell me what happened?"

Naruto adjusted the book bag on his shoulder as he looked away from his friend, and down at his feet. He studied the white and gray chalky tile of the hallway floor, thinking about what all he was going to tell his friend. It wasn't so much that he didn't want to tell him what happened, just he didn't want him to feel guilty about what was going on with his family. Anyway, he didn't even know how to explain some of it. About how his mom came to his rescue, and how oddly calm his father was when they talked. Well, calmer than he thought he would have been. He was honestly surprised that he wasn't in more trouble. Though, he didn't think that was going to last much longer.

As they turned a corner, he looked up at Sasuke and gave him a small smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Honestly, not much. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. I'm just grounded for a few weeks, since I didn't call and tell them where I was." He half explained.

The fact that Naruto didn't look him in the eyes told him that something was wrong. He didn't think that he was lying, just omitting part of the story. What was he hiding?

"Really? That's all?"

Naruto just nodded his head before walking into his next class, waving dismissively at Sasuke as he called out, "See you in gym."

XXXXX

Hinata blushed lightly as she walked through the classroom door, a half-hour late for class. The sister teaching the class paused in her reading to look up at her. The whole class was staring at her, she knew, as she walked over and handed the teacher a late slip and excuse for her tardiness. After reading the excuse, the teacher smiled warmly at her and told her to take her seat. Some of Hinata's nervousness dissolved as she finally sat down, and most of the students' eyes were no longer focused on her. She noticed Sakura glancing over at her, and gave her a small smile before the sister continued with the lesson.

She realized a few minutes later that she couldn't concentrate on the lesson, instead thinking about what had happened earlier that morning. It had been her first meeting with her new therapist. She hadn't liked the idea at first, but after her family insisted that she see someone about the "incident", she finally conceded. It had been uncomfortable to begin with, not knowing where to look when the therapist asked her personal questions, and not knowing what to say to some of her questions. But overall, it wasn't as bad as she expected it to be. She actually felt… a little relieved and hopeful after the meeting was over. It was actually easier to talk to a complete stranger about some of her problems, knowing that she wasn't being judged by her, than it was to talk to her friends or family.

"…This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not..." the sister read out loud, her voice not wavering as she continued to read the teachings of God to the class. (1)

For the rest of class, Hinata tried to listen to the lesson, but was distracted by the note going back and forth between Sakura and herself. Sakura asked her what she was doing over the weekend, and she replied with writing that she didn't have any plans. When the note was passed back to her, she read where Sakura had invited her to go gallery hopping with her on Friday night. At first, she didn't know what say, instead going over all the things that she might have to do in her head. She knew that she needed to study for a test, do the laundry; make up some missed class work, and what felt like a million other things.

A frown marred her face as she looked over at her friend, knowing that she wasn't going to like what she was about to write. But she paused in writing down a response when she saw the hopeful gleam in Sakura's eyes. Her hand moved of its own accord, and she passed the note over to her before she could rethink her answer. The brilliant smile she was rewarded with told her that it was worth it. Who cared about the things she had to do? Hinata realized that she _wanted_ to spend time with her best friend, and didn't stop herself this time with making up excuses like she had in the past. She smiled back at her friend as the class ended.

XXXXX

When Naruto got home later that day, he was surprised to see a wrapped present and card on his bed. As he opened the card, something fell out and floated to the floor. Thinking it was just money, he read the birthday wishes and sentiments with his mother's signature at the bottom, and what looked like his dad's name, obviously written by his mother's hand. He bent over to grab the money off the floor, but was confused by the folded up piece of paper that he picked up instead.

The letter was written on a small blue piece of paper that he recognized from the stationary that he gave his mother for Christmas last year. On the angel bordered paper, he read the spidery curl of letters that he knew was his mother's handwriting. After reading through it once, he started back up at the top again, not believing what he was reading. His legs started to shake slightly, and he found himself dropping down on his bed in disbelief. He shook his head to clear his head as he read through it a third time, pausing to reread a few sentences.

_Dear Naruto,_

_I just wanted to say how much I love you, and how proud I am to have you as my son. I feel truly blessed to have you in my life. I want you to know that you could never do anything wrong in my eyes. From the first moment I held you in my arms, I knew that I could never love anyone as much as I love you. So, when I say that I want you to be happy with your life, I mean every word of it. I want you to live your life the way that you want to, even if you think that your father or I won't agree with it. I will always be by your side, no matter what kind of choices you make. So, I hope that you will be honest with me, and always tell me if something is bothering you. You're a good person, Naruto, and I know that will never change. You could never disappoint me. My only worry about you is that you are not as happy as you could be. And I know that I have played a part in your unhappiness. I have known for awhile now that you care about Sasuke as more than just a friend._ _At first, I didn't know how to handle it; I was in shock. But I've seen how happy and lively you've been since he has entered into your life. He makes you happy, and that is all I care about. Not to mention he is quite handsome. _

Naruto chuckled lightly as he agreed with his mother's statement.

_I'm sorry that you felt the need to hide this from your father and me. I wish I could tell you that we would both support you and your decisions, but I cannot speak for him. If you do decide to tell him someday, just remember that he loves you, even if he does not show it at the time. And know that I will be there with you, if you want me too. _

His vision became less clear as he flipped over the paper and continued to read.

_Naruto, know that you will have part of your family beside you for the future. Your Uncle Jiriaya and I love your very much, and we will always be here for you when you need us. I know this must be sudden and not what you were expecting to hear from me, but know that I couldn't imagine not having you in my life. I hope that you can live more freely now, knowing that you don't have to keep secrets from me anymore. So, please be happy, and live your life the way you want to. _

_Love always, _

_Your mother_

Naruto ignored the water drop on the page, along with his unopened present, as he stood up and walked into the kitchen. His mother was standing at the sink with her back to him, holding a pot under the running faucet. It was then that he recognized the smell of flour, and noticed the dough that she was currently stretching to make his favorite food. (2)

"Mom," he said, his voice cracking slightly on the last syllable.

She turned towards him, her hair pulled back into a messy bun, with a few curls tickling the side of her face. He noticed the small smudge of flour on her forehead before his eyes travelled down her face to see the small tremble her lips gave as she smiled at him. Naruto had her in his arms, and was hugging her before she could open her mouth to speak. He didn't care about the wet apron that she was wearing, that was splotched with egg and flour, as he felt her hands on his back.

He didn't know what to say, how to thank her, or tell her how much he loved her, so he just held her like that while she cried. Naruto could feel his eyes watering up, but he tried to ignore it as he heard his mother sniffle and felt her step back a little. She smiled up at him before wiping her tears away with her floured hand. After realizing that she was just dirtying up her face, they both laughed lightly and put some distance between themselves.

Naruto grabbed a hand towel and handed it to her. She wiped her face and cleared her throat a little as she turned back towards the dough.

"I hope you're in the mood for ramen," she said as she went about sprinkling more flour on the partially flattened dough.

"Always," he replied, his mouth stretching up into a smile as he watched her cook.

Nadine made a small noise in response as she busied herself with rolling the pin over the dough. Before he lost his nerve, or remembered how embarrassing and gushy this whole scene was, he said in a quiet voice, "Thanks, mom. I love you too."

His mother glanced over her shoulder, her eyes still shining faintly, and smiled at him before returning her eyes to the task at hand.

"So, how is Sasuke doing?" She started conversationally.

"He's good." (3)

"Good, good. Maybe we should take him out to dinner sometime, just the three of us."

"Huh?"

"Take him out to dinner so I can get to know him, ask him what his intentions with you are."

"Mom!" He shrieked, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"I'm kidding, relax. I just want to get to know him. I won't ask anything too embarrassing," she told him, her grin hidden by her turned back.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head as he laughed weakly. He was glad that his mother accepted him and the way he wanted to live his life, but he thought that she was under the impression that he and Sasuke were dating and in love. How to tell her that it was slightly different arrangement? He didn't think she would approve of the whole "friends with benefits" deal, no matter what she said in her letter. She wouldn't approve of that kind of agreement, even if it had been with a girl.

"Ask him for me, please?" She asked, her voice interrupting his thoughts.

"Sure," he said, wondering if Sasuke would even want to do something like that.

Before she could ask him anything else, the front door opened, announcing the arrival of his father. Naruto's instincts suddenly kicked in, and he was wondering if he should stay or run away. His body suddenly tensed up and shifted into a fighting position, expecting some kind of fight with his father, whether it was verbal or physical. Releasing a small breath, he berated himself as he forced his body to relax into a more natural pose. He felt slightly stupid at panicking just because his dad walked in the door. Even though he knew things were different between them, and he felt on edge every time he was around him now, he didn't think he could ever physically fight with his father. At least, he hoped it never came down to that.

"Naruto, why is there flour on your back?"

Naruto's shoulders tensed unnoticeably at his father's question.

_What's wrong with me_, the blond thought to himself. Why was he so fidgety around his dad all of a sudden?

"I was trying to get him out of the kitchen, so I could finish making dinner. Sorry sweetie, I didn't know that I had gotten your shirt dirty. Why don't you go wash up before dinner," his mother lied easily. Naruto's eyes widened slightly, having never heard her lie to his dad before, but nodded his head at the easy going look on her face.

_She really is a great mom._

"Sure." He said, passing by his dad who had an unreadable expression on his face, as he went into his room. He threw his shirt into the hamper and opened his gift. Smiling wryly, he pulled the brand new shirt over his head and ripped off the tags, placing them in the trash.

XXXXX

A small feather was expelled into the air as the pillow was squeezed tightly by the teen's arms, once again. Sasuke turned his head to the side, his dark hair pressing against his forehead, and being weighed down by the perspiration found there. He mumbled something unintelligible as he tossed onto the other side of his body, his arms no longer holding onto the anchor of the pillow.

_It was dark; always pitch black in the old family room of his nightmare. No matter how many times he wandered through the room to the hallway, he never got used to the total darkness. He never got used to the sounds behind the door. Instead, the noises grew louder, almost as if his ear had been against the barrel of the gun as it was shot. _

_Every time that door opened, he told himself that he already knew what was behind it. He knew what to expect in terms of how his mother's face looked, how much blood was on the floor, and how his father's eyes were closed in death. Yet, every time he pushed the door open it changed. His mother's face became more twisted in agony, the blood was no longer just on the carpet, but on the bed, splashed on the walls, and running in rivulets down his mother's gown. Even though he tried not to stare at his father's body, he couldn't help but let his eyes roam over him until they reached his face. It was never the look of shock that had been permanently etched onto his face that disturbed him, but the wide, lifeless black eyes. Sasuke knew that he should look away now, before it was too late and he became trapped. _

_He tried to will his legs to move, to walk back down the hall and up the stairs, so he could hide under his blanket and wait for the police. But his legs remained motionless, his gaze still on his father's eyes, waiting, until those black eyes rolled back into their sockets. He fell on the floor in the hallway, his eyes transfixed on the roaming eyeballs that rolled back and forth uncontrollably. Each time he tried to get away, his body always moved backwards, even though he knew his only escape was to the left. During all this, he never saw his mother move. It was like her body was being pulled by invisible wires, flying into animation the second he focused his attention back on her. _

_With his back pressed up against the wall, he stood slowly as she crawled towards him, her mouth open as she howled in pain. The tears were always the same though. They came without him realizing it, and were a constant stream down both sides of his face. By the time his mother was in front of him, grasping onto his shoulders, he knew it was too late. He closed his eyes, knowing that it would only make matters worse. His mother's sobs were only louder in his ears, her nails were only sharper as they dug into his shoulder, and the knife that pressed against his ribcage was no longer a small kitchen knife. It had become longer, duller, and jagged. Though it still pierced the skin in between two ribs, where the burning started, and only spread over his entire body in a single wave of burning fire. He knew that if he opened his eyes now, he would see golden flames burning his skin, and the fabric of his clothes melting and molding to the frame of his body. It felt so real that he could smell the burning flesh, and coughed as gray smoke filled his lungs. _

Sasuke woke with a start, holding onto his chest as he coughed uncontrollably. When the coughs subsided, he threw the covers off his body, and stumbled out of bed. He headed towards the kitchen and poured himself a glass of cold water. After drinking the entire glass, he poured himself some more and carried it to his room. He looked at his bed, noticing the damp areas on his pillow. Sighing to himself, he checked the alarm clock by his bed.

It read 2:50 AM. Sasuke grabbed his bag off the floor and pulled some of his homework that wasn't due for another day out to work on, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to sleep for at least an hour or so. He rolled his neck from side to side, trying to crack it as he sat at his desk to work. After reading the same sentence for a fifth time, he finally gave up on doing English. He just couldn't concentrate on the poem, and it wouldn't do him any good to read it if he couldn't focus and analyze it correctly.

The last thing he needed was for his grades to slip because of his stupid nightmares. He could already see a difference in his performance, due to the lack of sleep he was getting. It didn't used to be as bad, though. Sometimes he had a nightmare once every week, maybe two. But now they were almost every night, and they morphed into something new and more terrifying each time. Even the things he was used to seeing still disturbed him, though it was probably because they actually happened.

Although he knew that most of his dreams weren't real, he couldn't tell which was starting to bother him more: the actual deaths of his family, or the parts that his mind created. They were starting to blend so well together, that he would have to stay up and revisit the crime scene all over again and tell himself what parts were real, and what were just his imagination. Sometimes though, he couldn't remember exactly what had happened. He longed to forget that night, but he didn't want it replaced with more horrifying images.

The young man sighed again as he pulled out his pre-calculus homework, and attempted to focus on it. Even though his sleep-addled mind kept supplying him with images from his dream, blurring the line between real and make believe.

XXXXX

Sakura glanced down at her watch, realizing that she was a few minutes early. So, she decided to sit at one of the outside tables of the café and wait for Hinata. Placing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, she tried to stay warm. However, she shivered at every gust of wind that blew right through the thin piece of material. Wishing she had brought a heavier jacket, she tried to get her mind off the weather by watching the people pass by.

Couples of all kind walked along the sidewalk in front of her. Most of them were huddled together, as they braced the windy weather. She smiled when she saw two women cross the street holding hands. Resting her elbow on the table she leaned on her hand as she watched them peek into the galleries and shops. Sakura sighed unknowingly to herself, wishing she had that kind of relationship with Hinata. Even though she knew Hinata had never had a boyfriend before, the chances of her being a lesbian _and_ in love with her too were just too slim. Too small of a percentage for her to take a wild leap of faith and announce her love.

"Yeah, that would turn out well." She scoffed at herself.

"What would?" A quiet, light voice asked her from behind.

Sakura jumped slightly out of her seat before turning around to see her dark haired friend.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Jesus, Hinata, you scared me."

The younger of the two girls just blushed and smiled at her apologetically, before sitting down in the other seat beside her.

"So, where did you want to go first?"

"Hmm… we could get some tea or coffee from _Elizabeth's_, and then walk around if you like?"

"Sounds good to me."

Sakura nodded at her as they got up to leave. Just walking down the streets of downtown Winston Salem was like walking through a gallery. There was artwork and graffiti everywhere, most of the graffiti being recognized as art. They passed shops and people, looking through some windows of galleries that they might want to visit. After listening to a man play the harmonica on the side of the road, they stopped at a gallery window that was close to the coffee shop.

"Uh… is this supposed to be art?" Sakura asked in a doubtful manner.

Hinata laughed lightly at the ridiculous apparel in the window.

"Um, I think it is. Though, I wouldn't want that if someone gave it to me for free. And I definitely wouldn't spend that much money on _that._"

Sakura laughed with her this time, wondering why someone would spend almost a hundred dollars on a purse made out of jeans. It wouldn't have been so bad if they actually looked like purses, but the designer put some kind of padding in the ass pockets of the jeans so that the purse was curvy on one side and flat on the other.

"Do you think he bedazzled that one?" Sakura said as she pointed out a hideous purse made out of light blue jeans that were inside out, and had plastic jewels and glitter around the pockets and on the handles. (4)

"Looks like it," Hinata said disbelievingly. The two girls fell into a fit of giggles, but moved to the coffee shop when they got some dirty looks from the customers inside.

"So, we're definitely not going in there."

Sakura agreed as they got in line to order their coffee. They sat down at a table as they waited for their orders to be ready. The shop was so warm and inviting with the couches and chairs that the two of them decided to stay and drink their coffee for a little while.

After grabbing her order, Sakura sat down and stared at her friend as she stirred her drink. Her eyes followed every movement of those long, slim fingers, especially when Hinata dripped some creamer onto her finger and licked it off.

"So, do you know where you want to go to school?"

Hinata glanced up from her drink, a light blush forming on her cheeks as she noticed how Sakura was staring at her hands. She shifted in her seat, trying to get into a comfortable position. Her knee brushed up against the other girl's jean clad leg, and she found herself ducking her head in embarrassment.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. So, do you know what schools you want to apply to or do you have a particular one in mind?" Sakura asked again.

"Um… well, I-I think I want to g-go t-t-to Salem c-college." She stammered.

_Damn it_, _Sakura knows that only happens when I'm nervous or embarrassed. _

"Why are you nervous? You worried about not getting in? Don't sweat it, I'm sure you won't have any problems there," her friend told her in a reassuring tone, adding a sweet smile to raise her confidence.

"I-I hope so," she murmured quietly, take a sip of her scalding hot tea. She winced at the sting of the hot liquid on her tongue, but swallowed it anyway, knowing it would distract her. She honestly didn't think it would be this hard to ignore the other girl's alluring nature. She saw her almost every day in class, though both of them were serious students and usually did their work, so there wasn't much time for the two of them to sit and socialize. Not even during lunch, since they were at a table with fifteen other screaming and gossiping girls.

Even when they were alone together these last few days, it wasn't this hard. Then again, she was a bit more stressed out about other things to really notice that the fluttering in her stomach was obviously caused by Sakura and not worry or stress. Now that she thought about it, she always felt a little lighter of heart when she was with the other girl. Or felt like her heart skipped a beat when she received a smile from the pink-haired woman.

"What about you?" She asked, hoping that her voice could be heard over the loud teenagers that had just walked into the shop. At least she wasn't stammering now, but her voice was so low that she could barely hear it herself.

Sakura heard her anyway, since Hinata had captured her complete attention.

"Um… I'm looking at a few different schools: Greensboro College, Guilford College, Meredith, Peace, and even Salem."

"No big university for you?" Hinata asked, giving her friend a questioning look.

"Nah, I don't want a really big class where you can't even talk to the teacher. I'm even rethinking Greensboro and Guilford for that reason. I like smaller schools."

"Yeah, me too. I really hope I get into Salem. I love the campus, it's so beautiful. It has the major I want, internships that I'm interested in, and I know I can get scholarships to go there."

"That's good. So, is there any reason why you want to go to an all women's college," the slightly older of the two girls asked as she crossed her legs, once again brushing up against Hinata's legs. She murmured an apology as she took a sip from her coffee.

"Uh… n-no, not really. I guess… I'm just used t-t-to it. Plus, the school is amazing, so I wouldn't care if it was coed or all women." Hinata raised her cup and smiled behind the rim of it, glad that she could control her stuttering somewhat.

"That makes sense. I guess that's why I wouldn't mind Salem or Meredith and Peace. Though, I think I could get more scholarships at Salem than the other schools. But it definitely ain't cheap. That's the one of the things I don't like about it; it's private and therefore, extremely expensive."

Hinata smiled at her before taking a sip of her drink again, pleased that it didn't burn her tongue this time. As she set the cup down, she noticed one of the boys that had come in earlier making his way over to their table. He glanced back at his friends, giving them the thumbs up, and then stopped at their table.

"Hey ladies, how are you doing tonight," he asked, giving them a charming smile. Hinata looked him up and down, thinking that he was attractive for being a year or two younger than her. Glancing over at Sakura, she compared her face to the young man's. They were both attractive, but Sakura's eyes were a beautiful shade of green that spoke more volumes than her words did sometimes. Not remembering what color eyes the guy had, she looked up at him again, noting that he had brown eyes. There was nothing really special about them, except for that they were slightly too big for his face. After studying his face, she realized that there wasn't really anything earth shattering or compelling about his looks. He was just nice looking. She didn't even care to compare the rest of his body to Sakura's, already knowing who's she would like better.

When neither of them answered, he started ranting about how beautiful they were, and asking them if they had boyfriends. Sakura said that she didn't have one and wasn't interested in picking one up either. The young man pouted at her in response, but brightened up when he glanced over at Hinata. When she didn't say anything, he took her hand and placed a small kiss on the back of it. Hinata blushed a deep shade of pink, and pulled her hand out of his grasp. The guy's friends started to laugh, a couple of them giving wolf calls.

Feeling flustered and embarrassed, she looked down at her hands, ignoring his stare. She peeked up from under her bangs and glanced in Sakura's directions. Her friend glared at the guy standing beside them, and Hinata could see the slightly murderous look in her eyes. She tapped the other girl's leg with her foot, demanding her attention. When Sakura looked at her, Hinata gave her a pleading look, asking her for help without words.

Sakura smirked, and nodded to her friend. Hinata let out a sigh of relief, but lifted her head up in confusion when she felt someone holding her hand. Thinking that it was the guy again, she was going to snatch it back. But it was Sakura that was stroking her fingers over the skin on the back of her hand.

"Not that it's any of your business, but we're on a date. With each other," she emphasized, glaring at the boy with a look that said she expected him to retreat now if he wanted to live another day.

"Oh… really? Damn, that's hot. Hey guys, they're lesbians!" He called over loudly to his buddies. They started to cheer and asked them for their numbers, being as annoying as humanly possible.

"Hey, interested in a threesome?" Another guy asked as he jumped off the couch and came up to their table. He stole a chair from another table and sat with them.

"What is that men don't understand about the term lesbian? What part of lesbian says that I want to have sex with a guy?" Sakura asked harshly, her eyes gleaming with anger.

"Oh come on, you might like it. If you're worried about me not being able to get the job done, then don't worry. I could do you both and not get tired. 'Cause I'm all about pleasing the ladies."

Instead of Sakura yelling at him, like they expected, it was Hinata that spoke up. Surprising them all, and especially herself, she said, "I'll try and make this real simple for you. We're lesbians, meaning, we like women, and only women. We don't like dick, so keep it in your pants until you get home to jerk it off. 'Cause I'm sure you don't know the first thing about pleasing a woman," she stated, standing up after she was done, and grabbing her drink.

"You ready to leave?"

Sakura just nodded dumbly at her as she picked up her own drink and walked around the guys, who were laughing and slapping their rejected friend on the back. He was too dumbfounded to say anything until the girls were already half way out the door.

"Fucking dykes," he muttered, slapping his friends' hands away.

Sakura and Hinata moved down the sidewalk, an uncomfortable silence hanging over them. The dark haired girl was silently fuming, her hands balled up into fists as she thought about what that guy had said. Hinata wasn't one to get angry easily, or say something about it either, but she had never experienced anything like that before. Sure, she had been hit on by guys that she didn't know before, but they usually just left her alone when she ignored them. But she didn't remember any of them ever being so vulgar like the guy back in the coffee shop.

While Hinata stormed off ahead of her, Sakura watched her quietly. She was surprised at her friend's outburst, having never heard her say anything like that. Sure, she was irritated with those guys back there as well, but her getting angry was nothing new. Everyone knew she had a short temper. Hinata, on the other hand, was always passive when it came to arguments or disagreements of any kind.

A thought struck Sakura as she glanced down at the clenched fist of her friend.

_Maybe… just maybe that guy's comment was a bit too close to home. Could Hinata really be…? _

Sakura picked up her speed until she was next to the slightly shorter girl, and then interlocked their arms together. The sudden contact made Hinata unclench her hand and blush up at her friend. Smiling in return at her pink-haired friend, she forgot about what was bothering her. Her thoughts turned to Sakura, and how she liked her smiling face, her bright eyes, and the warmth from her touch.

"So, how about we get out of here?"

She nodded her head, letting Sakura lead them back to the parking lot. Neither of them paid attention to the shops, people, or other couples that brushed past them. They just walked together quietly; arm in arm, as parked cars came into view. Not wanting their short "date" to end so soon, Hinata asked the other girl to come over and eat dinner.

"I'd like that," Sakura told her, fishing her keys out of her pocket. They separated; Hinata walking towards her car as Sakura unlocked the door and sat in the driver's seat of her own car. She let out a small sigh, and then smiled to herself.

Maybe, just maybe things would go the way she wanted them to with Hinata. She could only hope.

1. Lamentations 3:21-22

2. I found a recipe online that described how you made homemade ramen, and this was part of it.

3. I know that when you are talking about a person you're supposed to say that they are well, not good. But most people don't speak grammatically correct English, and it annoys the hell out of my ex-girlfriend when people say this. She always has to correct them.

4. So… I live in Winston Salem, go to Salem College, and downtown is literally a few minutes away. I actually saw these handbags, and I couldn't stop laughing at them. I was with my dad, who is just as bad as I am. Anyway, no offense to the person, cause art is art, but… they were pretty damn ugly in my opinion. I don't know how much they actually cost, or if they were in fact bedazzled, so I just guessed. And if you don't know what bedazzled means, just look it up on google or youtube.

Anyway, I have to work out a few kinks before the next chapter. There is something that I really want to happen in this story, I mean, it was going to be a major part too. But so far, after everything I've written, it would be a little out of place. So, I need to make it fit, otherwise this story will just not go the way I want it too. I really am sorry for the long ass waits in between my updates, but just know that I will never discontinue this story unless I'm gonna die. I love it that much and I've pretty much planned out the entire thing. It has at least another ten or eleven chapters to go before I'm finished with it. Even though I outlined this chapter… I put maybe one thing in there that I wanted. The other stuff has to wait for the next chapter, so, this could take a long time to finish. Blame school, my laziness, and my outrageous imagination.

Love you guys,

Robin


	12. Dream a Dream of Elysium

So, just wanted to say sorry for the lateness. But it's really long! I've been having a few problems lately. And most of them aren't even my problems, but my friend's. So, I've just been really busy for the last few weeks. And my Uncle's girlfriend got into a car accident early in the morning, so I was worried and stressed all day. The doctors wouldn't tell us anything because we're not family, and her family lives in New Jersey. So, we were at the hospital for hours until they finally told us that she would be okay. It was ridiculous and stressful. She still has more surgery and a lot of recovering to do. So… as you can see, I've been a little out of it. 

Anyway, I've been noticing how much feedback I get for this story. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or stingy, but the numbers are kind of pathetic. They just don't match with what a few people tell me and the number of favorites and alerts that people put on the story. I got nine reviews for the last chapter, out of 400 people that read it. It was worse in earlier chapters, where I'd get over a 1000 hits and like five reviews. I know I don't update very often, but I've already told everyone that I will not discontinue this story. I have a life and I'm a slow writer, so I can't update every week or even every month. I wish I could, but I can't. But seriously, the lack of response that I'm getting is not helping me. I take a lot of time on this story, and I want to hear more than 'just update soon' or 'I liked it.' I like hearing the personal stories that people tell me, even if its longer than a page. And I really want to know what people think of my story, or the characters, etc. I know I could improve in some areas, but I don't really know how. I think I could do better if people pointed some things out to me. So, I'm asking for some feedback. It doesn't even have to be in a review. It can be in a PM or an e-mail, whatever. Just some kind of response would be nice, and it would motivate me more. 

I'm not going to stop writing this or posting it just because I don't get a certain number of reviews or anything like that, but I would appreciate something from you guys. Most of you are writers on here. I'm pretty sure some of you can see where I'm coming from. So, I'm done rambling now. Enjoy the chapter and tell me what you liked or hated about it. I'm open to all comments. 

Love,

Robin

"_I feel most ministers who claim they've heard God's voice are eating too much pizza before they go to bed at night, and it's really an intestinal disorder, not a revelation." _

_~Rev. Jerry Falwell_

**Chapter Eleven**

**Dream a Dream of Elysium **

Zabuza raised the glass to his lips and nervously took a sip of the bubbly, amber liquid. The champagne left a tingling sensation on his tongue as he checked his watch for a third time in the last five minutes. Rolling the stem of the glass in between his fingers, he searched the room again. A few waiters passed by, carrying trays and drinks, while patrons entered the restaurant and were ushered to their tables. He set the glass down on the cream colored table cloth as a familiar figure strolled through the doors. Zabuza tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat as a tall woman made her way over to his table, her heels clacking against the floor of the foyer before being silenced by the oriental carpet that his table rested on.

When she was close enough for him to see her face clearly, he stood up to greet her. Coming up only an inch or so below his chin, she took his hand in a business-like manner before sitting down in the chair opposite him. Zabuza gazed at his wife, taking in her long, ebony hair that reached her waist, and the way she rearranged the utensils and glasses on the table in front of her to her liking.

He smiled briefly as he said, "You haven't changed a bit."

She glanced up at him, her eyes dark and calculating as she brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"And you still look like you haven't had a decent night's sleep. Your job still keeping you busy," she asked, her voice low and monotone.

"Yeah," he answered, looking down at his hands that rested on the table. She really hadn't changed. Still the same old boring, matter-a-fact woman he grew up with and married after college. He grasped his champagne glass and took a small drink.

The woman in front of him reached into the black leather case she carried in and pulled out a manila envelope. She opened the envelope and recovered the papers stapled together from it.

"Here's the paperwork. I need you to read over it and sign the dotted lines that ask for your signature," she began with that same professional and detached tone of voice, as a waiter came towards them to get their order. She ordered a glass of wine, but no dinner.

Zabuza barely glanced at the papers she handed him as the waiter walked off, ignoring the places where she pointed out to him, and instead focusing on one question that he wanted to ask her before they continued.

"Sachi?" He questioned quietly, noticing how her hand paused in the air above the packet of papers as she shifted her eyes up to meet his. She didn't answer him; just let him know that she was listening.

"What brought _this,"_ he held the packet of divorce papers up for emphasis, "up all of a sudden? Why do you want a divorce now so badly?"

Sachi's eyes drifted down to the table cloth as her hand retreated, and she placed it into her lap. Zabuza stared at her, noticing the slight, almost undetectable change in her demeanor. Her shoulders were no longer stiff, but slightly relaxed as she leaned on the back of her chair. After a moment of silence, she lifted her eyes up meet his own.

"I've met someone," she told him, her voice slightly lighter.

He knew by the small twitch of her lips that she wanted to smile, but something held her back. Something that had to do with a promise they made a couple of years back when they had separated. Zabuza felt slightly guilty now for asking her to promise him something like that.

"Do you love him?" He found himself asking. He wasn't jealous, knowing that she had loved him at one time. However, it hadn't been enough. Knowing that he was gay, he had married her anyway, hoping that she would be able to change him. The love he felt for her grew, but it was not the kind of love that fueled a marriage.

"Yes, I do. We… want to get married next year," Sachi said, her eyes gazing down at the forgotten papers in Zabuza's grasp.

Zabuza could see how badly she wanted this divorce, but also how foolish that had been when they were younger. Neither one of them had wanted to get a divorce, thinking about their families and their vows. Their families had known each other since Zabuza was nearly seven years old, when her family had moved to America. Being two of the few Japanese families in that part of Ohio, their parents had quickly become friends. They did almost everything together, so it was no surprise when they converted to the Mormon Church. As children, the two of them had been friends, but had drifted away when high school came around. However, with their families so close together, they still saw each other frequently.

It wasn't until college that they really started talking to each other more. After being friends for about a year, they started dating, and continued to date throughout college. When they graduated, Zabuza thought that the next step would be to marry her. He knew he loved her, that his parents already thought of her as a daughter, and that she loved him back. What he didn't think about was the fact that his attraction to men had not died down in the slightest since puberty, thinking that that had been the cause. Knowing that homosexuality was wrong in the eyes of God and his church, he ignored his feelings and married Sachi.

"I'm sorry," he whispered quietly, taking a pen from his pocket.

"What?"

Her glass of wine arrived, both of them waiting for the young man to leave so that they could continue talking in private.

He looked up at her, wishing that things had gone differently for them both. Wishing that he had not been so scared of his feelings back then, wishing that he had not married her for the sake of their families and his beliefs, wishing that she had found someone else before they had started to date, wishing…

"I'm sorry… about all of this. We should have gotten a divorce two years ago when we separated; instead of promising to hide it from our families like this."

"Zabuza, you and I both know that it would not have gone over well with any of them. And… I don't think you would have been ready to face them then." She told him, once again shifting so that she was now leaning on the table top with her elbows.

Her husband glanced up at her, not knowing exactly what she meant by him being "ready." So, when Sachi placed her soft and cool hand over his own, he was confused even more.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You seem… different now. Maybe you haven't realized it just yet, but… I think you've grown to acknowledge who you are. You may not completely accept yourself, but you aren't as upset by this as much as I thought you would have been."

She paused, her eyes wandering down to their hands. Her hand was the only one initiating the contact. His own hand just lay there, neither accepting nor rejecting the touch, while his eyes strayed to the street littered with lit lampposts outside of the restaurant.

"I know that you never loved me in a romantic sort of way, but you did love me. You were comfortable with me… enough to tell me _everything_," Sachi said with a gentle squeeze of her hand. Her eyes softened in that moment and Zabuza caught a glimpse at that soft and understanding side of her that he had loved, or thought he loved. It had been times like this when he thought he could bear being in a relationship with her, even though he wasn't in love with her. Every time she showed him that side of her, he felt special, knowing how rare those moments were.

Closing his eyes briefly, he let out a soft sigh. Thinking back to that day when he had broken down in front of her, literally telling her everything. About his attraction to men, how he had prayed to God to help him overcome his feelings, how he had never trusted anyone enough to tell them—afraid that his family would somehow find out and disown him, and how he knew that he wasn't in love with her—though he desperately wished that he was.

She had been quiet the whole time he talked, not asking him any questions or making any comments. It wasn't until he had finished talking that she had quietly told him that she knew he had been in pain, but didn't know how to help him. All the while her hand had gently squeezed his own—like she was doing now, two years later. Zabuza flipped his hand over, his palm facing up to meet hers' as he grasped her hand in return.

"If we had told our families then, I don't think you could have handled it. You were afraid of losing them. But… you had me. I was like your security blanket. You were so confused about who and what you were… and still are that you couldn't even accept yourself. I thought that you needed time to come to terms with yourself. It has taken a couple of years, but something inside of you has changed. Something in your life has made you see yourself in a different light."

As soon as the words left her mouth, an image of a smiling face, long dark hair, and warm brown eyes entered his thoughts. The young man's name was on his tongue, trying to break past his lips, and be heard by his disbelieving ears. He swallowed thickly, trying to dislodge the uncomfortable realization that had just dawned on him. The fact that his wife, someone who hadn't seen him or really talked to him in over a year, could see this as clearly as if he had written it on his forehead disturbed him slightly.

"I'm right, aren't I?" She asked, her lips curving upwards slightly.

"Maybe," he conceded, not sure if he should tell her everything or not. Even though she seemed to be more understanding of his situation now, he knew that he had hurt her deeply when they separated. It was the main reason why they had fallen out of touch over the couple of years. She had needed the time to herself, just as much as he had. He was just happy that she had found someone and moved on.

Removing her hand from his, she took a sip of the dark, red wine, while Zabuza set pen to paper. With each letter that flowed from the pen's tip, the more his soon to be ex-wife drank from her glass. By the time he was done signing their divorce papers, her glass was empty.

Zabuza placed the papers back into the envelope and handed it to her, grabbing his own drink. While taking a swig, Sachi called the waiter over to order some food and another glass of wine. Smiling into his glass, he watched her order for the both of them.

"So… is he cute," she asked in an offhanded manner, her cheeks taking on a slightly rosy tint.

The man sitting across from her almost choked on his champagne at her question. He heard her laugh quietly, hiding her mouth behind her well-manicured hand.

"Sachi!" He said in disbelief, noticing that the blush on her cheeks was darkening.

XXXXX

"So, I can really go? He said yes?" Naruto asked his mother.

Nadine put a finger up to her mouth, hushing him as she looked back towards her and Kazuma's room. Noting that the door had not opened at her son's outburst, she turned back towards him.

"Not exactly," she told him, glancing down at the floor, and stalling for the right words. Twisting her wedding band with her thumb and fore finger, she glanced up at her son's confused expression. "W-we're going to a dinner party tonight at 7:00 for one of his co-workers, so we won't be home. Just so long as you can get up for church tomorrow morning, I can cover for you if you get in late… just be quiet. And try to get back before 1:00," she almost whispered, closing her eyes, and hoping that her heartbeat would quiet down. The thought of her husband overhearing her "betrayal", because that is how he would see it, unnerved her… but it also excited her. Knowing, yet another, secret of Naruto's made her feel like she had some sort of control in the household.

His blue eyes lit up and he hugged her quickly, taking her by surprise.

"Thanks," he whispered as he ran back into his room and grabbed his cell phone. Pressing the numbers into the keypad, he listened to the ringing as he looked around on the floor for a hoodie. After two rings, Sasuke answered the phone.

"Yes?"

"Hey, I can go out tonight," he said excitedly, picking up one of his hoodies and sniffing it. When the other person on the line said nothing he added, "If… you still want to, that is?"

"Hn. Yeah."

Throwing the smelly piece of clothing aside, he said, "Okay, good. Do you wanna grab something to eat on the way there?"

"Sure. Uh, do I need to… pick you up? Or meet you somewhere?"

Naruto paused in his search as he laughed lightly, scratching the back of his head. This whole situation sounded a little awkward… since he was sure that fuck buddies did not go out on dates. Though, when Sasuke had asked him out for a movie and a bite to eat for his birthday, he had not said that it would be a date. So, he thought it would just be the two of them hanging out. Just like friends. Sasuke picking him up though sounded like they were on a date…and he was playing the role of the girl. _Not_ happening.

"Ah, I can meet you at the _Cookout _down the street, and we can just drive from there. Sound good to you?"

"Yeah. What time?"

"Um… meet me there at around 7:00. I'll be the sexy one wearing an orange hoodie… when I find it." He mumbled the last bit to himself as he turned over a basket of unfolded clothes.

Sasuke snorted on the other line, "Right. Better hope no one mistakes you for a traffic cone and throws you in the back of their car."

"What'd ya say—," he began right as the line went dead.

"Bastard," he grumbled.

After finding his obnoxiously bright orange hoodie, he cleaned up the mess he made and waited for his parents to leave. While lounging on his bed he grinned to himself as he thought of a way to make Sasuke eat his words.

XXXXX

The _Cookout _was a small fast food joint that had just a kitchen and two drive throughs, the seats either being the person's car or the couple of picnic tables outside. It didn't look like much, but the public obviously enjoyed their food, seeing as both lines were crowded with cars.

After arriving a few minutes ahead of schedule, Sasuke went ahead and ordered his food. Sitting at one of the picnic tables, he waited patiently for his friend. Fifteen minutes later—he looked up in irritation, wondering where Naruto was. What he saw made him nearly choke on a French fry. At the front of the line of cars was Naruto, wearing the brightest orange hoodie he had ever seen, with a pair of dark blue jeans and sneakers. He snickered quietly to himself as he watched the other teenager walk through the _drive through_, paying the puzzled cashier and grabbing his food. Naruto walked over to him, raising an eyebrow at the amusement on his face.

"What's so funny?" He asked as he settled down on the seat and pulled out his two cheeseburgers and fries.

Shaking his head slightly, Sasuke responded, "Nothing. So, what movie are we seeing?"

Taking a large bite out his burger, he chewed it before answering, knowing that it would disgust his friend. Besides, he did have some manners when it came to eating, might as well put them to good use.

"Uh… I don't really know what's playing now. You know of anything good?"

Sasuke made his usual "hn" noise as he unwrapped his own burger and then took a bite. Carefully chewing his food as he watched the guy in front of him inhale his first burger, and then move onto the next one.

"So, is that my birthday present? A movie?" The blond asked slyly as he took a break from eating, sipping on his soda while Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him.

"Were you expecting a gift?"

"Of course," he answered, acting as if he were offended at the thought of not getting anything.

Glancing down at the scratched and marked table top, Sasuke thought to himself. He hadn't bought him anything yet, unsure of what he would like or if he even wanted him to buy him a gift. Tearing his eyes away from the graffiti on the table, he looked up to see the mischievous grin on the blond's face. Raising his eyebrow slightly in question, he decided to play along by answering, "No, it's not."

"Then what is it?" He asked as he leaned in over the table, looking into Sasuke's face expectantly.

Before the other boy could even think of something, Naruto crawled onto the wooden table top. He made sure not to kneel in his food or Sasuke's as he placed his face in front of his friend. Leaning back, Sasuke glanced up at Naruto's cheerful face, wondering what he was up to.

"Will you get me what I want if I ask you?"

Sasuke didn't have time to respond as he soon found himself with a lap full of a 160 something pound blond, who placed his arms around his neck. Naruto chuckled into his ear at the tense look on Sasuke's face.

"Will you," he questioned again as he bit down lightly on the other boy's earlobe, earning a slight hiss in response. Sasuke was starting to rethink his idea to 'play along' with the other boy's plan.

Even though it was dark, and Sasuke didn't know many people in the city, he still wasn't comfortable with displaying his "affections" in public. And he definitely didn't like having the idiot drawing so much attention to them, seeing as some people in the drive through line were honking their horns at them and yelling out. Whether they were cheering them on or calling them a bunch of fags, he didn't know. He was too distracted by the tongue that was caressing his neck.

A shiver ran down his spine that had nothing to do with the cold as he bit down on Naruto's clothed shoulder in retaliation. The blond just laughed in response as he leaned in closer to Sasuke's face to stare him in the eyes.

"Do I have to ask again?"

"What do you want," he questioned, hoping that his voice didn't sound husky.

Shaking his head in response, Naruto said, "You have to agree to get me whatever I ask for before I tell you."

Sasuke glared at him, wishing he could just shove him off his lap. But the table top was right behind him, forcing Naruto to press up against his chest so he wouldn't place an elbow in his unfinished burger. Images of Naruto with his face planted into the greasy fast food entered his mind, but fled quickly when he felt him shift on his lap. The warmth between them was already making him uncomfortable, and now the dope had to go and rub against his crotch.

"What… are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable," he said innocently, pressing himself more firmly against Sasuke's heated body.

Glancing at his watch to check the time, he noted that they should leave soon if they wanted to catch a movie before eight o'clock. However, when he felt Naruto rub himself against him again, he grabbed his hips in desperation.

"What the hell?"

Hearing the frustration in his voice, Naruto leaned down to his ear and said, "Just say that you'll get me what I want and I'll stop."

He let out a low growl in response, but nodded his head in agreement before something embarrassing happened. He didn't think they had enough napkins to clean themselves completely off. And he didn't plan on walking up to the drive through window with a telling stain on his pants to get more. Regardless of the fact that he would make Naruto the one to walk up there, he still didn't want to have to go home and change his clothes.

"If it costs a fortune—"

"Don't worry, it's nothing like that. It won't cost you a thing," he said mischievously, winking at the annoyed Uchiha before getting up and finishing his meal.

XXXXXX

After watching an hour and a half of bad acting, impossible action stunts, and tasteless sex scenes that left his dick softer than before he went into the theater, Sasuke was thankful that he and Naruto were leaving. Although he hated the movie, and thought it wasn't worth the seven dollars he paid for a ticket, he wasn't surprised that Naruto enjoyed it. He quietly watched the hyperactive teen talk about one of the car explosions, as he enthusiastically waved his arms around in his description.

"Wasn't that awesome?"

Sasuke had been nodding his head to these kinds of questions for the last two minutes while they walked out of the theater. It was much easier than arguing with him, and gave him less of a headache.

"You're not even paying attention, are you?"

Lifting his head up, he saw Naruto standing just a few inches in front of him. His breath caught in his throat at the close proximity of his friend as he stared into those bottomless blue eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds before the two of them heard a familiar voice calling out their names.

When Naruto turned to see who it was, Sasuke noticed that his hand was slightly outstretched in the direction of where Naruto's hands had been seconds before. Shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts, he turned his head in the direction of the loud voice he had grown accustomed to hearing. Standing next to the tanned young man was two of their classmates, Neji and Gaara.

After less than a minute of listening to Neji discuss the horror movie he and Gaara had just watched, Naruto turned his head around to glimpse at where Sasuke was standing. Catching the darker haired teen's eyes, he let a warm smile slowly stretch across his face before spinning back to face Neji. Quickly making an excuse to leave, Naruto said goodbye to the couple, surprising both teens since he had barely said anything to them.

"You ready to get my gift?" He asked as he walked up to Sasuke, slinging an arm over his shoulders comfortably in what appeared to be a friendly manner. But the two classmates that watched them head out to the parking lot knew it was more than just a friendly touch.

"Hm, do you think the Uchiha can handle someone like Naruto?" Neji inquired, placing an arm around his own boyfriend's waist.

Gaara smirked, knowing how loud and obtrusive Naruto could be before replying with, "We'll see."

XXXXX

"You're joking, right?" Sasuke asked, hoping beyond hope that his friend was just messing with him.

"Nope. And you have to do it too. You promised."

"I did not promise you anything," he stated coldly as he drove down the nearly empty streets of downtown.

"You're not going to go back on your word, are you? I didn't think you were a pussy," Naruto said, his face scrunched up in a look of disapproval.

Sasuke ground his teeth as his hold on the wheel tightened. He was not a coward or a "pussy," as Naruto liked to put it. He just didn't _want_ to do it because it was stupid.

"I'm not a… pussy. It's just stupid. What the hell are you going to do with it," he questioned, turning his dark eyes on the teen in the seat next to him.

"I'm not going to do anything with it, since I can't sneak it into my house without waking up half the building. Not to mention my parents would kill me if they knew that I stole city property."

Lifting an eyebrow in response, he said, "Then what's the point?"

"For saying that I look like a traffic cone on the phone! Plus, it will be fun. Think of it as a souvenir," he tried to placate him, smiling brilliantly at the unsure look on the driver's face.

"I implied that you would look like a traffic cone, not that you did look like one."

Naruto was too busy glancing up and down the quiet road to reply, making Sasuke sigh to himself and mutter, "This is ridiculous."

"Slow down and grab that one. Come on; hurry up before someone drives down the street."

Knowing that his excuses would fall on deaf ears, the Uchiha decided to keep his word.

"How can I slow down and hurry up at the same time? You're contradicting yourself, idiot," he told the bouncing blond, even though he did slow down and reach out of the window to grab the cone. It was heavier than it looked though, so he had to use both hands to pull it through the window. With Naruto's help, they stashed it in the back seat.

While his passenger laughed all the way down the street, he couldn't see the humor behind stealing a traffic cone. Stopping at the stop light, even though there was no traffic, he peeked over at Naruto. The slightly younger man had stopped laughing, but was still smiling as he faced Sasuke.

"Don't give me that sour face. You know you had fun. Come on! Just admit it and you'll be a happier person."

Sasuke turned to look back at the traffic light, glaring at the bright red bulb as he ignored him. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, he was taken by surprise by the blond for a second time that night. Only this time, he didn't have a lap full of Naruto, but a hand climbing up his thigh. A voice whispered in his ear, though he didn't catch what was said as the sound of his pant's zipper being lowered filled his ears.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Sasuke slumped against the back of the seat as a cool hand wrapped around his half-hard cock. He could feel feather light kisses along the side of his neck as Naruto's other hand came up to tilt his neck back. The kisses became harder and sharper as he gained more access, allowing him to bite and suck along the expanse of his pale throat.

Sasuke moaned quietly as that hand stroked him with the barest of touches. It was driving him crazy. Switching in between hard, quick strokes and then light, long, drawn out strokes that had Sasuke's body shaking in no time at all. Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he felt the pressure on his neck disappear. Cracking open his eyes, he barely had time to register that there was a head of fair hair in his lap. When he felt that warm, wet appendage slide along his member, he loosened one of his hands from the steering wheel and placed it in the thick strands of Naruto's hair.

Panting slightly as Naruto's tongue and mouth worked up and down his member, he felt his other hand cramp in its white-knuckled embrace with the steering wheel. Unclenching his hand, he let his head fall in between his shoulders, so that his gaze was directed at the back of Naruto's bobbing head. Bringing his head back up, Naruto curled his tongue around the swollen and red head of Sasuke's cock. Flattening his tongue along the tip, he swiped it across the slit, gathering the pearly drops of pre-cum in his mouth. After dragging his tongue up and down the underside of his cock a few times, he felt the slight pressure of Sasuke's hips thrusting up to meet his tongue and lips. Grinning to himself, he placed a light kiss to the swollen head, hearing a breathy groan of frustration fall from his companion's parted lips.

Sasuke was about to open his eyes to see why the idiot had stopped, when he heard a light chuckle. Of course, the second he decided that he was going to yell at Naruto to finish him off, his friend followed his unsaid orders and swallowed him to the hilt, causing Sasuke to make an embarrassing noise that was in between a squeak and a moan. Feeling a pleasant vibration around his cock, which was probably the idiot laughing again, he felt himself nearing his release. Unable to hold back any longer, he bucked his hips a few times before releasing himself in his friend's mouth. Letting Sasuke ride out his orgasm with a couple of jerky hip thrusts, Naruto swallowed, licking his lips before sitting up.

He had barely opened his eyes to see the faint green light reflecting off the hood of his car before a horn cut through his foggy thoughts. Naruto glanced back at the car behind them, giving the guy the middle finger as the person drove around them, all the while yelling obscenities.

"Asshole," the teen muttered before glancing back at the spent driver.

"You okay?" He asked playfully, sliding his hand down the side of Sasuke's neck.

Slapping his hand away with as much strength as he could muster, which wasn't much; Sasuke sat up and tucked himself back into his pants. Glimpsing at the time on the dashboard, he cleared his throat before asking, "What time do you have to be home?"

"Around one. Why?"

"Hn," was his answer as he turned down a one-way street headed towards the park. They still had two hours left, and he planned on spending each of them wisely.

XXXXX

It was nearly three a. the time Sakura walked through her front door. She was hoping that her dad would be sleeping by now, so she closed and locked the door as quietly as possible. As she crept down the hallway, she noticed that all the lights were off, and that the volume on the T.V. was down low. Thinking that her dad had actually fallen asleep, she relaxed her tense shoulders. However, her foot paused in mid-step as she noticed her bedroom door was cracked open; a thin shard of light escaping through the ajar door.

Something crashed against the door, nearly closing it as it banged against the frame before swinging back open. Peeking through the now larger crack, Sakura saw her bed sheets and pillows hanging off her bed. Most of her books were scattered along her floor, opened at random pages, while an old jewelry box was overturned—the broken ballerina on a curled piece of wire lying next to it and a few bracelets on the floor.

A shadow fell over her face as a man stepped in front of the cracked door, his back turned to her. Placing a hand over her mouth, she took a step back as he stumbled to her dresser. Pulling open the drawers, he threw some of her clothes on the floor before going over to the closet. Getting a glance at his face, she narrowed her eyes in confusion.

_What the hell is he doing_, she thought to herself as she heard something fall from her closet shelf. She had seen her dad drunk before, but never had he been so wasted that he went into her room.

He moved back towards her bed, falling down on his knees with a sickening thud. Crawling under the bed, he pulled out boxes of shoes and miscellaneous things. Tossing some of them to the side, he cursed under his breath. He was obviously searching for something, but Sakura didn't know what he could possible want from her room. Thinking that he would soon give up, she waited silently by the door, watching him throw a box of shoes at the wall.

The box burst open, and out fell a couple of pictures and a red ribbon. Quickly standing up, her father moved towards the objects on the floor. Noticing the pleased expression on his face sour, she realized what he had been looking for. And knowing how upset he got every time he saw a picture of her mother, she heedlessly ran into the room. Grabbing her most precious items off the floor, she pressed the face down pictures to her chest. Sakura closed her eyes, afraid of what would happen now.

She tried to picture her mother's face in the photos, hoping she could memorize them in case something happened to them. Her laughing as she held Sakura in her arms in a kitchen from another apartment. A small, pudgy hand covered in pink icing touching her cheek as Sakura chewed on a small piece of cake, yellow crumbs and pink frosting all over her face. Another photo of her mother standing outside at a park, her arm resting comfortably around another woman's waist. A friend, most likely, who held her back in the same manner. Both of the women smiled shyly, but warmly at the camera. There was a third picture, but its contents vanished from her thoughts as a hand grabbed onto her shoulder and violently turned her around.

Sakura placed her knees against her chest as she fell against the wall, her father's hand still firmly attached to her shoulder. His lips thinned in annoyance at the sight of her, losing his focus momentarily as he slowly remembered why he went into her room in the first place. It had been growing late, and she still had not come home.

"Where the hell you been?!" He yelled, his voice thick and laced with alcohol.

Hearing the slightly slurred words, Sakura shakily answered him, "O-out with Hinata. We were just watching movies at her house." And it was the truth too. She had spent most of the evening with her, watching movies and eating pizza. She would have stayed the night, but since she had stayed the previous night after their "date," she didn't want impose again.

Instead of being placated, he grew more enraged. Grabbing her by both shoulders, he stood up, dragging her up the wall. He nearly fell over, but kept his balance by leaning his weight on her shoulders as he pressed them harder into the wall. Staring at her straight in the face he told her,

"Don't you be like her! Don't you be like that bitch!"

Shaking her head from side to side, Sakura bit her trembling lip in confusion. Her dad only pushed her up against the wall again, saying the same thing over and over again. In the few tense minutes that passed, his words grew quieter and almost broken as his head fell in between his shoulder blades. Something dripped onto the floor, and Sakura stared in disbelief at the tears he was shedding. She couldn't believe he was crying, but the visible drops on her floor were proof enough.

"Dad?" She whispered, her own voice breaking as she felt her eyes water up. The pain in her shoulders had shifted to her back, and was now trickling down her spine.

His bloodshot eyes glanced up at her, widening momentarily at the look on her face. His expression softened slightly, and he relaxed his hold on her shoulders. Lifting a hand up to her cheek, he murmured something under his breath. Sakura didn't hear what he said, but it sounded like a name.

"Dad," she asked again, her voice shaking now.

The hand dropped from her face, and his jaw clenched shut, tension forming visibly at the pressure. His other hand tightened over her left shoulder, making Sakura hiss. Releasing one of her arms, she tried to remove his hand, but one of the pictures fell to the floor. The floating photo caught his attention, making him loosen his hold on her completely to pick it up.

Wincing at the ache in her shoulder, her breath caught when she saw what he held in his hand as he crouched down on the floor. He held the picture with shaking hands—the one with her mother and friend at the park. Noticing how his hands started to twist around the edges and crinkle the photo, Sakura tried to snatch it away.

A piece of the photo ripped, part of the background, as Sakura grabbed it. Not knowing what else to do, she tried to run past him, but he grabbed her leg. Falling forward, the other items from the shoebox were concealed under her chest, but the ripped photo lay out in the open in between her fingers. Seizing it from her, he proceeded to tear it into tiny pieces, yelling words that Sakura didn't catch.

Everything slowed down for her in that moment as she watched him rip apart one of the only pieces she had of her mother. She knew she was screaming at him, since that was all her ears could hear, but he wouldn't stop. Not until there was nothing left but useless pieces that couldn't be taped back together. Curling her hand around some of them, she yelled senseless words at him as she cried. A stabbing pain shot through one of her fingers as he stomped on her hand, trying to keep her away from the pieces.

Shouting at her, he swept the torn shreds of the picture into his hand. She didn't catch all of his words, but knew he told her to never see her again. That she couldn't be like that damn woman or else…

He left her room, slamming the door behind him, which didn't close all the way. Looking at her hand, she saw that one of her fingers had swelled up and had turned a bright red as it sat at a crooked angle. Sakura just cried, not caring if she was quiet or not, and wishing that her mother was still with her.

XXXXX

The sound of the T.V. in the other room woke up the girl on the wooden floor. Hearing some kind of infomercial, Sakura opened her aching eyes. Figuring that she had fallen asleep at some point, she tried to sit up on her knees. The throbbing pain she met caused her to gasp. Looking at the swollen digit on her left hand, she used her right hand to help herself up. Noticing the pictures, birthday card, and ribbon on the floor where she had just been laying, she quickly scooped them up and put them in her book bag.

Cradling her hand against her chest, she walked to her door to shut and lock it. She placed a chair under the handle for good measure, but didn't hear any movement from outside anyway. Turning off her light, she crawled into the disheveled bed. Pulling the blanket and a pillow off the floor, she tried to go back to sleep. But some of her father's words from earlier came to mind, and she couldn't stop thinking about them.

"_You can't see her even again! Never! Don't be like that damn woman. You can't be like her too… you can't… or else I'll… I'll…"_ he had told her before he stormed out of the room.

Who was she never to see again? The only person she had mentioned the whole time was Hinata, and he had never even met her. So, why would he ban her from seeing her? It made no sense. And not be like that woman? Guessing that he was talking about her mother, she felt her eyebrows furrow in confusion. She knew that he loved her mom. She could see it on his face when he was asleep sometimes, especially when he would whisper her name.

Sakura knew that he was upset by her death, but he made it sound like it was her fault. It wasn't like she planned on dying. And the one thing that Sakura had secretly craved when she was younger was to grow up and be like her mother. She had always been curious about her mother when she was younger, wondering if she drank tea or coffee, if she crossed her legs when she sat down, or if she liked to read or preferred to watch movies. No one would ever tell her anything though. Her dad wouldn't talk about her. Even her grandparents wouldn't talk about her. They acted like she didn't even exist sometimes, or would just say that it was too painful to talk about.

Turning over on to her side, Sakura flinched at the throbbing pain in her finger. Thinking that it was probably broken, she placed her hand on the pillow beside her head. The pain only reminded her of the torn and lost picture of her mother. She could feel her eyes tear up again, but was too busy picturing her mother's face in the picture. The small smile, her bright eyes, and the pale blue shirt she wore with a pair of jeans. The other woman's face was lost to her now.

She tried to imagine her mother in a long white nightgown, with her long pink hair falling down her back and shoulders in curls. She used to envision her mother like this all the time when she was younger. Sakura even imagined that she would sing her to sleep with some wordless lullaby. Picturing the same scene now, she lightly hummed to herself a song that had no words. Turning onto her back, she closed her eyes and ran her good hand through her hair, imagining that it belonged to her mother. The hand would occasionally brush her cheek or place loose strands of hair behind her ear.

Sakura eventually fell asleep, dreaming that her mother had sat beside her during her sleep, humming a tune that needed no name.

XXXXX

The telling beads of sweat and the slightly open mouth that let out a quiet, painful gasp were signs of a nightmare. One that Sasuke thought that he could never escape now.

…_Sasuke opened his eyes, expecting to see the charred flesh of his body, but there were no flames. His skin was not black or burned, but pale and covered in goose bumps. He no longer felt like his body was on fire. He couldn't even feel the burning pain in his ribs and wasn't bleeding. Feeling nothing but the cold air against his skin, he shivered and looked around. His mother was gone, the door to his parent's room was closed, and there was light all around him. Glancing up, he saw an uncovered light bulb hanging over his head. It was perfectly still and buzzed faintly. It was the only noise he could hear throughout the whole house. He waited for a noise, but when none came, he reached out with his hand and opened his parent's door. He stared, and stared. But the image did not change. There was no blood anywhere in sight, his father's body wasn't on the floor, and there was no gun smoking by the door. The room was bright with morning light that filtered in through the windows. Trees outside swayed gently in the wind, casting flickering patterns of light on the carpeted floor. Sasuke took a step towards the room, but stopped when he saw a figure walk out of the bathroom. His father sat on the bed and untied his shoes, placing them neatly off to the side. Then he took off his suit jacket, laying it on the bed, and undid his tie. Sasuke whispered his name, but the older man didn't hear him. He spoke louder, expecting his father to turn around and give him a brief smile. He didn't even look in his youngest son's direction. A flash of movement to Sasuke's left had him gazing at his mother as she walked straight into him. She floated through his body and entered the room. Glancing back into the room, a shiver ran down his spine as the hallway grew colder. There was no sunshine outside. The sky was dark, and the lamp by the bedside gave off the only light in the room. His mother's lips were moving, but he couldn't hear her speaking. It was obvious that she was yelling, that both his parents were screaming, but he couldn't hear anything over the buzzing of the light bulb that suddenly grew louder. Sasuke could only stand in silence as he watched his father turn his back on his hysterical mother, who was crying, but mumbling something to herself repeatedly. It wasn't until he saw his mother open the drawer, the one he and his brother had discovered a revolver in when they were younger, did he start screaming. He could hear the gunshot, almost deafening to his ears, as he watched his father's body stagger back and fall to the floor. The man tried to pick himself up, grabbing on to any surface of the bed, but only managing to pull his jacket onto the floor where he lied in a forming pool of his blood. He saw his mother unfold part of her apron, producing the kitchen knife before she threw the apron to the floor. Sasuke's voice was hoarse now from all the screaming, the only sound coming forth was heavy sobs. His father tried to drag himself towards the door, towards Sasuke. His wife kneeled beside him, her face now a calm mask, as she stabbed him in the back. Over and over again, the noise pulsing through Sasuke's ears like blood. She stabbed her husband again, his eyes on the doorway, and Sasuke thought he was staring right at him before his head sunk onto the floor…_

Sitting up with a start, the youngest of the Uchiha family quickly wiped his forehead and cheeks with the back of his hand. Sniffing slightly, he moved the heavy and hot covers off his body. Sitting for a few seconds and staring at nothing, he let his heartbeat slow down. When he felt like he wasn't going to have a heart attack, he glanced over at the clock. It was only three in the morning. Only two hours after he dropped Naruto off at a place close to his apartment. The blond had said he would call him when he got inside, safe and sound, though Sasuke didn't really need the reassurance. But he hadn't heard anything from Naruto since then. Thinking that he either got caught or had just fallen asleep, he hadn't risked calling and having his father answer the phone.

Thinking back to the nightmare though, he didn't care if he did get Naruto in trouble. He just didn't want to go back to sleep, and knew that he didn't have any homework or anything to work on to keep him occupied. Grabbing his cell phone before he could think more clearly about it, he pressed the call button after finding the number.

He listened to it ring a few times, wondering what he could possible say to his friend without making it seem like something was wrong. Knowing the dope, though, he probably wouldn't even pick it up. And if he did, he'd probably just tell him to fuck off and go back to sleep.

"H-hullo?" A voice mumbled into the phone, a yawn accompanying his greeting.

"Moron."

There was a few seconds of silence and another yawn.

"Sasuke?" He slurred in a tired voice.

"Hn. You didn't call when you got in." He said, as if that explained why he was calling at three o'clock in the morning, when normal people were asleep in bed.

"Uh… forgot to."

"Hn."

"Why ya calling," there was silence for a few seconds and the sound of a bed creaking, in which Sasuke presumed he was looking at his clock, "at frickin' three in the morning?" Naruto asked.

"You didn't call." He said, with lack of anything else to say. He listened to the other person sigh through the line.

"So? I was tired."

Sasuke scoffed into the phone as he shifted on his bed, resting his back against the wall with his knees under his chin.

"Did I tire you out that much?"

Spluttering, the other teen said, "N-no, you didn't… that's not what I said, asshole."

"Sounds like it to me."

"Sasuke…"

The dark haired boy waited, wondering what his friend was going to tell him. His name on his lips sounded slightly frustrated, but something else at the same time. Like he was trying to ask a question, but didn't know how to ask it.

"Sasuke, I doubt that you would call me at three in the morning… just to see how tired I am after our little 'play' in the park. Even you're not that conceited."

When Sasuke didn't answer him, he asked, "Why are you calling me?" His voice had softened significantly, and had lost its tired edge.

The other boy on the line said nothing. He was not about to go into detail with Naruto about how his family died, and how he relived it almost every night.

"Couldn't sleep? Get in a fight with your Aunt or something?"

Hearing the emphasis on the something part, Sasuke decided that he needed to end this soon. If he stayed on the phone much longer, he might get a headache from all the questions... or grow so sleepy that he answered them unknowingly. He wouldn't put it past Naruto to ask him something when he was half asleep and as vulnerable as an Uchiha could get without actually being asleep.

"D-did you have a… nightmare?" He heard him ask, his voice uncharacteristically serious.

"Hn. Go to sleep."

The phone line went dead and Naruto sighed to himself before closing his phone and staring at it. A few numbers flashed on the screen before disappearing and leaving the time of morning in its place. They had only been on for around four minutes, but in that time, Naruto learned one thing about Sasuke that he doubted anyone else knew.

Sasuke had been scared.

Since the first day he met him, Naruto wondered if he had nightmares. He didn't know the details about his friend's parents' deaths, and he wasn't going to go behind his back and find out either. He would wait until Sasuke was ready to tell him, if he ever wanted to. But knowing that Sasuke's family had been murdered—only a little over a month ago—and supposedly by his older brother—sent chills down his spine. And he hadn't even been there. He hadn't been a part of that family, grown up with them, loved them, taken vacation trips with them, eaten dinner with them… anything. He couldn't imagine how Sasuke felt, but he knew that if had lost his parents like that… there was no telling how he would react. But he was pretty sure that he would at least be haunted by their deaths, especially at night.

So, it didn't shock him that Sasuke was scared to sleep. What did surprise Naruto was the fact that Sasuke had called _him_ of all people. He didn't even know what to say or how to approach the situation with tact. His failed attempt minutes before was proof of that. So, why would Sasuke call him after something like that?

Not knowing exactly what to do, but not being able to just leave things the way they were now, Naruto opened his phone and wrote a quick message.

XXXXX

Sasuke flipped his phone open, and read the text message that the moron had sent him.

_Night, asshole. U better be treatin that cone nice. Don't forget to water it so it can grow up strong and tall. _

Rereading the message in disbelief, he snorted under his breath. What was the idiot up to now? Replying back to the idiotic message, Sasuke's eyes glanced over to the orange traffic cone in the corner of his room. He felt his eyes roll at his previous action of stealing the damn thing, wondering to himself why he even brought it up to his room.

Naruto's phone vibrated, and he opened it quickly, not expecting a message back.

_If you're talking about yourself, then it's too late. You're not going to grow anymore. Night, dumbass._

Smiling to himself, Naruto placed the phone on his nightstand and lied back down, muttering to himself, "Jerk."

XXXXX

And end for now… so, what do you think? Awesome? Sucked? Could use a beta? I know, but I'm too lazy and have too many sporadic updates to get and keep one. But anyway, I want to know what you guys thought. Please? I love reviews, they really do motivate me. Guess that's why I don't update so often. I only get about seven or eight for each chapter.  The few people that do review always say how great it was, and think that it deserves more reviews. Well, you guys can help out with that!

I'm a poor college student. I eat feedback, so feed me please?!

Go back and read the note at the beginning too. It's kinda important.

I haven't even started on the next chapter and will confess that I'm almost completely lost on what to do, so, any suggestions or things that you think need to be addressed would be helpful.

Love you all,

Robin


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